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HOOFCAST 45 - Ragin' Steamboat

This week our newest imaginary sponsor stops by to offer you financial advice, Jason meets his new best friend on a bus ride to nowhere, Nigel tells us something about Star Wars that might give you an aneurism, Captain Picard lets us know about his secret office crush, a guy sells some sort of tires on Craigslist, Dick Steams heads to the father land, we find out that Nigel has no idea what we're talking about when we say the words "Major Motion Picture", and nearly every character ever to ...

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HOOFCAST 44 - Dogtarded

This week we start the countdown towards 50 with the greatest episode we've ever done! Or at least a mildly better than average one. Dodge gets some airtime while also reminding us whose in charge, we talk about the demise of the hoof and the beginning of Paste as well as tie up some loose ends we forgot to tell you about, McConaughey tells us about Scooby Doo's favorite pastime, we find out what half a bottle of vodka and Hooters chicken wings can do, we give you 150 BRAND NEW KID PORN M ...

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HOOFCAST 43 - Lost Episodes Vol. 4

This week we find another batch of lost gems with your hosts Walken and McConaughey, Patrick farts in a car, hear a few more great lines in pornographic history, Jason tells us about his love of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, in the news a guy falls off the roof of a car, a guy steals random condiments from a country club, a ferret snacks on some baby fingers, and a guy fingers a chihuahua, Nigel shares a random thought, a guy finds love on Craigslist from a purse theft, a slightly deaf guy ...

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HOOFCAST 42 - Lost Episodes Vol. 3

This week we dig up some lost gems that ended up on the cutting room floor from season two so far, Patrick shares some ad's made for another podcast, McConaughey lets you in on a huge hole in the He-Man mythos, a guy has sex with an orange on Craigslist, in the news we learn about a man giving away free condoms, hotels in space, getaway's on a lawnmower, sibling wrench assault, Ochocinco O's, and a great new place to hide your weed, Nigel tells us about Lance Armstrong's newest endorsement, ...

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HOOFCAST 41 - Death on the Road

This week we provide an alternate version of Scream, discuss Nigel's Facebook account and the usage of male sex toys, Patrick and Satan share a birthday, Mel Gibson calls his bank, we answer real fan mail for a change, Gollum receives a letter from a man who seeks advice about true love, some kids are forced to watch an educational driving film, and the guys reveal the secret locations of lost innocence. ENJOY!!!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! What you're about ...

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HOOFCAST 40 - Hoof Wars

This week we jump on the Star Wars bandwagon and throw the classic Hoofcast twist on the franchise. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away Darth Vader got kicked out of a gold course, the guys tried to figure out what happened during Obi Wan Kenobi's lost years, Nigel told a bunch of random Star Wars facts, we reflected on the evolution of John Williams, Jar Jar Bink's got his own show, we chatted about racism in the Star Wars galaxy, Darth Vader went to a grocery store, Nigel told some ...

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HOOFCAST 39 - You Queeah?

This week a deaf guy orders an XBox, Patrick lets us know how he spent his Halloween, we finally find out Spock's first name, Regis destroys another celebrity name, the guys let you in on guilty pleasures that might make you think twice about being friends with them, we find out about Patrick's favorite classmate, we give you more than enough material to name your next band, two guys sexually harass a guy at a bus stop, and we try to figure out who would play us in Hoofcast: The Movie. ENJ ...

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HOOFCAST 38 - Graffiti of the Sea

This week we expose you to lesser known literary works of art, discover an addiction that is ruining Nigel and Patrick's relationship, Ray Walker accidently stumbles into the happiest kind of parades, Patrick explains the "plot" of the worst film ever made, two Asians share a missed connection on Craigslist, Patrick tells us about another remembered Halloween, his mom kills some fish, and he watches a porno in front of the entire neighborhood, Gary Busey goes to a fast food restaurant, an a ...

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HOOFCAST 37 - Did You Just Scratch Me?

This week we debut a song that will soon be sweeping the airwaves, talk about the return of the worst kind of bicyclists, we inform you about proper job interview etiquette, take a deeper look into the Yahoo News headlines, a guy takes a dump on Craigslist, Jigsaw orders a pizza, we discuss more things we could go forever without doing, and we go on the most idiotic ghost adventure of all time. ENJOY!!!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! What you're about to hear ma ...

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HOOFCAST 36 - Walker's On

This week the guys go to a rave, Patrick reminisces about a child molesting serial killer, Nigel has a philosophical thought, Regis stops by to teach us more proper pronunciations, Nigel tells us a cherished childhood account of public nudity, the guys head back for more rave action, a demon goes for his annual physical, we share a random story of the spoils of popcorn and public drunkenness, we head back for one final trip to the rave, and three wise men in their golden years enjoy a quali ...

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HOOFCAST 35 - Hold the Elevator

This week the guys return to your hearts at long last with more disturbingly engrossing awesomeness. Abraham stops by Hell's Kitchen, the guys play inside the actors studio, we discuss fountain phobia, Jason explains his seething hatred of a famous recently deceased sea captain, we count down the top ten shows that should be cancelled, and two guys do horribly disgusting things in an elevator. ENJOY!!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! What you're about to hear may ...

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HOOFCAST 34 - A Hoofmas Story (Part II)

On this very merry Hoofmas eve, there once were…..ah fuck it! No more rhyming. I'm pretty sure no one even reads this shit anyways. Everyone knows what we're gonna do. We do the same old schtick every time we do a special episode! Walken shows up, McConaughey reads something, we usually do a song or something, ugh. How bout a story instead. This guy I know named Carl likes to dress like a bus driver so that I, I mean he can steal sack lunches while the kids go on field trips. Then ...

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HOOFCAST 33 - A Hoofmas Story (Part I)

Once upon a Hoofmas eve, three kings fulfilled a young mans dream. Walken returns in fashion grand, and we interview the number one Hoof-fan. Nigel's obsessions will make you glad, while a man on Craigslist sell's maxi-pads. Three chaps in China have jolly laughs, while an eel eats his way out of a man's ass. Lloyd Davidson travels here and there, as Nantook and Paplo relive a nightmare. There are Christmas pet peeves of the holiday kind, and still Patrick's childhood is just so unkind. ...

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HOOFCAST 32 - Commie, Terrorist, Hitler!

This week the guys hit the campaign trail, talk kidney donations and George Lopez, Patrick tells us a fond memory, Dick Steams visits Spain, the guys talk about more pet peeves that make life a little less enjoyable, a man looks for a fellow Michael Jackson fan on Craigslist, McConaughey stops by to read another literary masterpiece, Jean Luc Picard spends a weekend with Worf, and a super negative guy goes to a gas station. It's so good you might have an aneurism!!! ENJOY!!!! WARNING: HO ...

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HOOFCAST 31 - Potion Bitch

This week we celebrate Thanksgiving with a new product from the makers of Diarylliphy, we talk about our favorite Thanksgiving moments, McConaughey asks a question you might not have thought about, an annoying bastard is spotted in a movie theater, Jason tells about the greatest costumer in retail history, Patrick's car gets dented, Lloyd Davidson stops by to tell us about his Thanksgiving plans, a slightly deaf guy reads from the Blade Runner script, we share Thanksgiving pet peeves, the a ...

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HOOFCAST 30 - Banjo Solo

This week Watto teaches the kids an important skill, Nigel and Jason share traumatizing childhood memories, Patrick shares a little known fact about everyones favorite TV show, Clinton James asks a question that has been on all our minds for years now, we reminisce about one of the worst films ever made, a guy begs for a vasectomy on Craigslist, we play another round of the greatest game in existence, Patrick tells us about his favorite Halloween costume of all time, Gollum weighs in on the ...

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HOOFCAST 29 - Afterbirth

This week Regis Phibin stops by to help us with our pronunciation, we create a new comic book hero, Picard tells us about his least favorite member of the Enterprise crew, Patrick rants about the disappearance of the greatest actors to ever live, a guy sells expired condoms on Craigslist, Ray Walker goes to the circus, we share more life experiences we could live without experiencing, some 6-year-olds write more letters to God, we give you 10 new insults to try on your friends, and a couple ...

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HOOFCAST 28 - Hoofoween

This week the ghouls scare up the spookiest episode of HOOFCAST ever!!! Some demons go to the drive thru, we make fun of the handicapped at long last, Nigel geek's out on Star Wars, the Jew's show us how to deal with trick or treaters, Patrick lets everyone know the proper way to play kid porn movie game in public, a guy sells his dead grandma on Craigslist, a priest listens to a startling confession, we do News with Nigel Halloween style, and three guys try to escape the zombie apocalypse ...

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HOOFCAST 27 - Ah, Ah, Ah, Boys!

This week Kermit the Frog stops by to tell us about his favorite pastime, the guys let James Cameron know what the story of Avatar 2 should be, McConaughey lets you know why you should never have sex on the beach, Sylvester Stallone battles a pre-school teacher, Patrick tells a random story about a dinosaur, an Asian pimps herself out on Craigslist, the guys discuss all of the activities they can go the rest of their lives without doing, a guy gets a blow job at his grandma's, Patrick gets ...

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HOOFCAST 26 - Charleston Chew

This week Hoofcast theater presents a new take on Dirty Harry, Patrick and Jason recall a legendary story of rock stardom, Jigsaw and family get a phone call, Nigel talks about his favorite retail experience, Jason discusses why you might not want to follow in your fathers footsteps, Patrick tells us about his favorite science teacher, a man discusses neighborly love, we share a phone call to a local bookstore, talk about proper hygiene, and we examine the horrors of war. ENJOY!!!! WARNIN ...

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HOOFCAST 25 - Goatastic!

This week the guys kick off season two with a bang! We explore the lessor known side of Captain Picard, discuss our ideal Batman villain, Patrick talks about his sex life, Walken realizes something we all know isn't true, we discuss the best way to see the Grand Canyon, Gollum stops by to offer advice, we count down the top ten reasons the show isn't live anymore, we find precious items on Craigslist, and two goats try to settle a dispute in the only way goat-possible. Damn it's good to b ...

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HOOFCAST 24 - Lost Episodes Vol. 2

This week we dig up more lost gems in our second lost episode. Patrick talks about a recent trip to Las Vegas, Walken shocks us with his vast knowledge, a guy sells a cherished possession we all take for granted, in the news the Chinese take advantage of those slightly shorter than them, a president in Russia sells secrets to aliens and a women uses her personal squirt guns to assault a prison guard, in pet peeves a bicyclist gets what he deserves, Nigel shares his favorite automotive memo ...

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HOOFCAST 23 - Lost Episodes Vol. 1

This week we rediscover some lost gems in the first ever lost episode of HOOFCAST! Walken finds something ever one has tried to discover, we take a closer look at an over used swear word, in the news shaggy the elf makes an appearence, a snowmobiler is mistaken for an otter, two dogs eat their owner, and the guys rape the Jetson's robot, in pet peeves Patrick reveals his least favorite word, Nigel looks for a quiet place to study, and we talk about pressure in the bathroom, in Patrick's fu ...

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HOOFCAST 22 - Season Finally!

This week the guys wrap up season one of HOOFCAST with Walken's return to his rightful throne, a brief history of the show, the guys pick their favorite and least favorite moments of season one, Levi takes his cousin to Red Lobster, Walken lets us know more than we wanted to know about Playdough, McConaughey reads us some Biblical passages, Lloyd Davidson takes a trip to Mount Rushmore, in the news we discover a reason to buy a 3D television and a freezer full of cats, Dick Steams heads to ...

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HOOFCAST 21 - Whatever You Say Egon

This week a new character teaches you the importance of doing things right the first time, Nigel makes a new friend, we teach you the proper way to speak to a child, Walken finds out his favorite has been cancelled, Clinton James shows you how lure a beautiful older woman, in the news we learn about racist greeting cards, horny yaks and crafty criminals, Ray Walker teaches you how to get a deal, we examine the history of Autotune, in pet peeves we learn you should believe everything you see ...

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HOOFCAST 20 - Sofa Kingay

This week Walken donates more time for the children, the guys discuss the best live musical performance ever, take a deeper look at Patrick's dreams, Nigel blows someone's mind at work, we read some more touching 6-year-old stories, Walken donates even more time for the homeless, in the news we discover a chat room killer, a jungle woman and a couple who hoarded themselves to death, Sean Connery goes to a fancy restaurant, we count down the top ten celebrities that should be dead but aren't ...

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HOOFCAST 19 - Sphinx

This week jigsaw calls a sex line, the guys welcome Talkin' with Walken contest winner Seth Binkley, examine roles Christopher Walken turned down, Robert DeNiro's most memorable moments, the Vamper calls a grocery store, Walken meets an ogre, a penis debate ends up on Craigslist, Lloyd travels to San Francisco, in the news we discover how not to use a GPS and the joys of scented candles, Levi's caller ID breaks, Patrick recalls more horrendous memories, and Mr. Rogers becomes a homicide det ...

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HOOFCAST 18 - Mercury Cougar

This week we welcome Jason back with a look at celebrities in real life, talk about Robert Rodriguez's Predators, discuss Jason's travels, the KFC double down sandwich, take a closer look at the proper way to act in a classroom, Walken learns about modern units of measurements, we find out what laptops are really for, in the news we learn about a new Archie character and the new Tiger Woods game, Ray Walker stops by to tell us about his favorite pastime, we unveil 101 new kiddy porn movie n ...

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HOOFCAST 17 - Reichstag

This week our hero's return with a confession of sin's, Nigel gives a shout out, the guys outline a new Matrix trilogy, talk about the down side of tranny sex, Lloyd Davidson stops by to tell us about his latest trip to Chicago, Walken starts his career as a rapper, Clinton James lets us in on a little known secret, in the news we learn where to find animal sex farms and why cats hate New Mexico, Jake drops by to talk to God, Nigel outlines the top 10 inventions that should be invented but ...

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HOOFCAST 16 - Tooskcast

This week the guys are missing in action, but the eskimos come to the rescue! This episode will prove to be educational as we learn who has taken over Mattress Barn, why Clash of the Titans hit an iceberg, why the new heath care bill is erotic, how Tiger Woods could have avoided losing sponsors, what Dick Steams in doing in Alaska, what Paplo did this week, how to get rid of a dead moose, how to properly insert a bottle into your body, why the cucumber shortage is a blessing in disguise, wh ...

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HOOFCAST 15 - Sharktopus

This week our hero's introduce a new sponsor, discuss hatred towards daylight savings, talk about Nigel's status as a co-host or sidekick, Christopher Nolan's Superman vs. Bryan Singer's Superman, Dick Steams sends us love from London, Walken tells us a secret he has harbored for 30 years, in the news we learn why lesbians can't where tuxedos and how the devil took over the Vatican, Ray Walker roasts some Marshmallow's, we introduce a new segment based on, what else, Craigslist, Patrick sha ...

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HOOFCAST 14 - Big Wheel Tracks

This week we explore Nigel's childhood for once, discover why you should never video tape yourself masturbating, teach you how to properly order a hooker, Walken has a nasty case of the dry heaves, we listen to heartwarming letters to Grandma, in the news we discover that funeral homes have been hit just as hard by the recession, Ray Walker stops by to tell us why you should call home often, Nigel counts down the top ten things that should be illegal but aren't, and an arabian guy takes a d ...

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HOOFCAST 13 - Johnny Law

This week Walken does his part to cure the world's starvation problem, the guys discuss Mel Gibson's version of the Holocaust, play Kid Porn Name Game round 3, McConaughey stops by to remind us just how sexy he really is, Levi and Abraham have a chat about their former roommate, in the news demon's rape children, a monkey goes to rehab, a woman goes to war over a spitting contest and a man brains a guy with a worcestershire bottle, we meet the most annoying bastard on earth, count down the ...

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HOOFCAST 12 - Mushroom Kingdom

This week we introduce a new product, reminisce about a life altering event, Dick Steams stops by to point out some of the lesser known areas of Venice, Walken confronts Geico, we try our best to get a sponsor, discuss the evolution of music, in the news Nigel tells how Avatar united a country and how chastity belts save canine virginity, in pet peeves we discuss annoying habits of the average school goer, and Luigi's mushroom addiction leads to an intervention. Enjoy!!! WARNING: HOOFCAST ...

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HOOFCAST 11 - The Final Solution

This week a new character stops by to give some love advice, we give the ultimate shout out to a fan of the show, discuss auto-erotic asphyxiation in space, Lloyd Davidson goes to the circus, Walken has an altercation with a neighbor, we teach you the difference between proper etiquette and improper etiquette, in the news Nigel teaches us about good parenting and fun loving animals, Kitty V stops by to say hello, we discuss the 10 signs that evolution is going backwards, Patrick relives mor ...

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HOOFCAST 10 - Space Station

This week Lloyd Davidson heads to Washington DC, the guys realize they have a talk show and nothing to talk about, our new friend Ray Walker stops by to tell us a heartwarming story, Walken heads to Sesame Street, Levi finds some bad milk, some cannibals eat a street vendor, McConaughey reads from the Iliad, Patrick tells some more horrifying stories of yesteryears, and Elmo gives Rescue 911 a call. Can this show get any better!?! Enjoy!!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audienc ...

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HOOFCAST 9 - Who Was That Guy?

This week our hero's try out a new format, welcome a special guest, debate how far is too far, make fun of 24, Walken learns what ear plugs are for, a stunt man sets his kids on fire, we listen to letters from 6 year olds, review Avatar, discuss our pet peeves, and George W. Bush takes over the role of Ernie on Sesame Street. HOOFCAST is back with a vengeance!!!! Enjoy!!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! The show contains adult language, situations and overall mor ...

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HOOFCAST 8 - It's a Very Merry HOOFCAST

Twas the week before Christmas and Nigel and Patrick had nothing to do but create the best HOOFCAST ever for you. Walken is here and so are the Jews and Matthew McConaughey reads shakespeare for you. Nigel's got news that might give you a fright and Patrick's has had a very disturbing life. Lloyd Davidson's letters might just make you sick but Paplo and Nantook will give you lift. So tare off your shoes and throw off your sash and pop in the HOOFCAST and sit on your ass. For this is the bes ...

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HOOFCAST 7 - Eiffel Tower

This week Nigel gets his own attack hobo, Walken lets us know why we HAVE TO win in Afganistan, we discuss why you shouldn't kill people in cross-walks, why black friday drives people to drink, Patrick tells us about some more of his favorite childhood moments and two eskimos have sex with a seal. ENJOY!!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! The show contains adult language, situations and overall moronic content! In other words DON'T LISTEN TO THIS SHOW!!!!

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HOOFCAST 6 - Gitmo

This week our hero's go on without alcohol with NPR results, Lloyd Davidson drops by to read us a letter, we catch up on recent concerts, talk about the Fourth Kind, Nigel brings us some news that will make you sick, and we play who wants to be a millionaire with a french guy. ENJOY!!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! The show contains adult language, situations and overall moronic content! In other words DON'T LISTEN TO THIS SHOW!!!!

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HOOFCAST 5 - Look at those Legs

This week the guys send Jason off in style with a healthy conversation about modern fashion, Walken stops by to tell us about his favorite food, the Jews return to say goodbye to Timothy the only way they know how, the guys rap about 4 way stops and current events and examine what would happen if Matthew McConaughey took over the roll of Batman. HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM JASON, NIGEL and PATRICK!!! ENJOY!!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! The show contains adult lang ...

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HOOFCAST 4 - Steamboat Willy

This week your best friends mourn the passing of a member of the cast, Walken stops by to teach us about aeronautics, we talk Star Wars vs. Star Trek, play another round of everyone's favorite new game and Gollum tells Mickey Mouse that he wants a divorce. What's not to love?!? ENJOY!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! The show contains adult language, situations and overall moronic content! In other word DON'T LISTEN TO THIS SHOW!!!!

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HOOFCAST 3 - Walkendorf

This week our hero's do their best to make you throw up with a fun new game no adult should legally be allowed to play, a hypothetical discussion on everyone's favorite protein shake and due to the current economic climate Christopher Walken is forced to take a teaching job at Hogwarts. ENJOY!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! The show contains adult language, situations and overall moronic content! In other words DON'T LISTEN TO THIS SHOW!!!!

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HOOFCAST 2 - The Quest for Jason

This week our fearless friends talk about the demise of a fallen member of the cast, Facebook addiction, the riggers of age, Les Claypool taking over TOOL, Paranormal Activity, why DEVO is the greatest band on earth, and spend some time with Christopher Walken and the most racist android dealer on the west coast. Enjoy!! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! The show contains adult language, situations and overall moronic content! In other words DON'T LISTEN TO THIS SHOW ...

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HOOFCAST 1 - Piss Sandwich

Our first show! We should have called this episode hit and miss but we all have to start somewhere! On the show sheet, Patrick tells a cherished childhood story, we talk lesbian scenes, and cap the show off with a skit that goes on way too long! WARNING: HOOFCAST is intended for mature audiences only! The show contains adult language, situations and overall moronic content! In other words DON'T LISTEN TO THIS SHOW!!!!

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