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Newspox 15 July.mp3
Hello. This is the news:
* The Jolie-Pitt twins have arrived and they are hot top models already. They won't get out of the womb for less than £10million
* Man pets sheep
* Ronnie Wood goes on a mental bender witha russian tatu style teenage lovely, which is a bit embarassing for everyone really. I am embarassed to be writing this.
* What is the difference between a magpie and a dalek? Lots really, but children don't know. What do they have in common? A love of shiny stuff.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 7 July.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* It is 7/7, like when those bombs went off. People will do some creepy silent dancing to commemorate how the weather was much better then.
* Lily Allen has bought a bucket AND a mop. They match, which is classy.
* Cardiff Airport to be renamed Gavin & Stacey Airport or the Duffy Is Tom Jones's Love Child Airport.
* Madonna not getting divorced
* Alan Sugar not in plane crash
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 1 July.mp3Hello. Here is the news at the start of July.
* Oooh it's hot, but the nights are drawing in.
* Madeline McCann: no news
* Bees on the loose
* Ken Livingstone likes chutney on his ham sandwiches
* Charlotte Church is going to be burnt at the stake for saying she wants a lot of children. What a bitch.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 10 June.mp3We're back! We've been awfully busy, but not too busy to keep up with the important global and politcal news. So here is a round up of what has been going on over the past 3 weeks:
* Zena might have ever brought chips off of super model Agynes Deyn, but probably hasn't
* Some Dolphins got lost and died.
* Prince Charles died
* the Camden Fringe website went live
* Boris is yet to completely fuck up being Mayor
* Lily Allen done her hair pink.
Phew!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 14 May.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* What ever happened to little Shannon and her pikey family?
* Gordon Brown is the new Sir Alan. Hooray!
* The Housing Minister, Bungle from Rainbow, puts her notes in a poly pocket instead of a ringbinder and now she is in trouble.
* Kelly Brook and Billy whatsit from that film where he was mad and on a boat - Zane, that's it, split up and now they are back together.
* You can make your own hat like the one worn by SJP at the SATC premiere with just a hat, a p ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 7 May.mp3Here is the weekly news:
* Someone left Boris in charge and now he is banning picaninnies from the buses.
* Cliff was robbed by Franco in jealous lovers' tiff
* Northern people are all common. Don't hit me, it's true because Brian McFadden says so.
* Kylie is an M&S slut on tour, apparently.
* The cellar fella likes to play with prozzies poo, which is relatively normal compared to looking up your own daughter and raping her for 24 years.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 30 April.mp3Hello. Here is the weekly news round up of the week:
* Humph dies.
* John Peel died ages ago
* Madeleine McCann still missing - one year on
* Tiny Austrian cellar where a man raped his own daughter for 24 years being sold by Foxtons for a cool half a mil.
* Beans sexed up to be more relivent to the under 30's
* Vote Ken.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 15 April.mp3Hello chaps! Here is the news:
* Gordon Brown is about to be ousted by a mystery fox
* We are beginning to think Labour just ain't no good, as they've sold all the primary schools to make luxuxry flats and now kids ahve to be taught maths in their local MacDonalds. We're all being Hamburgled.
* Is Joss Stone annoying? Yes.
* Is James Blunt cool? No.
* Have we met Les Dennis? Yes.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 14 April.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* A remote part of Paddington station has been discovered in a remote part of Paddington station.
* Some girls went travelling and were involved in an accident and died. I'm not saying it isn't sad, but it is just an accident, and could have just as easily as happened in Swansea as in wherever it was they were. Columbia?
* Babies have been born.
* Marathons have been run.
* Life goes on.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 9 April.mp3Hello. This is a news:
* Mohammad Al Fayed gets in a huff and just gives up, for the sake of the kiddies
* George Clooney looks better in magazines, though still handsome in real life
* The village of Lunt changes its name, as people keep defacing the roadsigns and calling it Cunt. Ha ha ha. It is changing it's name to Pastard-upon-Tils
* Geri Halliwell's daughter Bluebell Madonna Halliwell throws a hissy fit in an airport, showing early diva tendencies. She's already been signed up by Max ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 8 April.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* Pete Doherty finally banged up in the big house for being a naughty little tinker
* Princess Diana died in a accident
* Tom Cruise is a freaky scientologist and that is the sort of quality we are all looking for in a god father figure.
* Monkeys like tonka toys
* That credit crunch is happening, it's all because of 15 years ago. yeah Britpop.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 1 April.mp3Hello Jokers, it is April Fools Day and here is the really true news:
* Poor people more likely to be in road accidents for some reason
* Turtle become a heavy smoker and gets nicotine withdrawal
* Happy Birthday, the Red Arrows
* George Clooney to adopt Britney, or perhaps get another pig and just call it Britney.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 31 March.mp3Hello. We're back after an unexplained Easter break. And this is the news:
* That airport turned out to be rubbish then
* Skint Queen cancels knees up
* Lamb born that looks a little bit like a panda
* Jamie Hince dresses like a tramp or something.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 17 March.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* Twiddly diddly dee it's St Patricks day. Or is it?
* Bear convicted of theft of honey from bee hive.
* Scouts are a bit cheeky these days, and quite old as well.
* Shannon has been found alive and well is playing with a kitten. Lucky bitch.
* Save water.
* Basil Brush is a rascist and a murderer.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 12 March.mp3Here is the news
* Top cop flops off hilltop
* A tiny monkey has been stolen in Argentina, apparently by the hand of God.
* Britney has been given a weekly allowance of "just" £750. How much do they pay Metro journalists these days?
* Man lives in shed, like a modern day hermit with a playstation.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 11 March.mp3Hello newshounds, here is the news:
* Courtney Love tells Britney to get a therapist and a new hairdresser. Sound advice.
* Man sues M&S over minor grape based incident that didn't even take plan within the confines of M&S
* Fire extinguishers condemned as fire hazard
* Snake bites man
* Rats saw God.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 10 March.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* Vote for Ken, we reckon
* Man rapes Henry the Hoover.
* Make sure your intestines don't come out in the swimming pool.
* Amy Winehouse to blame for third world hunger.
* Sport was almost interesting this weekend, but not quite interesting enough to merit 14 hours of coverage in one day on BBC one.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 5 March.mp3Hello. This is the news for today which is the 3th of March:
* it is Wednesday!
* Ian Paisley calls it quits - he's 81 snd a doctor, that shouldn't be allowed.
* That childresn home in Jersey turns out to Bergerac set, just painted on cardboard.
* Amy Winehouse is hard
* Anna Friel is fit
* So it Natalie Imbrulia
* Hen gets chemotherapy costing £3000 on it's one good leg.
* Man only has one good leg after he gets a lego off in freak tobogganing accident. He didn't even notice!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 3 March.mp3Hello. This is the news.
* Sorry. Zena has a touch of windy pops today. Both ends.
* Shane from Westlife's Dad new Russian President
* Frogs cure diabeties. That's why the French never get diabeties
* The secret Diary of Hasnat Khan aged 53 or so, not sure, difficult to tell.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 25 February.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* New branch of Tesco built on Mars which sells Mars Bars, Mars Mallows and boxsets of Veronica Mars and Wham Bars.
* Pilot does loop the loop near the airport with 75 passengers on board. He was sacked
* Co-Pilot dies on a different flight with 300 passengers on board. He was buried.
* The Oscars happened.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 18 February.mp3Hello. This is the news:
* Royal Family are all vampires
* Alistair Darling gets his privates out. Turns out his pubes are black, like his eyebrows.
* Britney goes out to a restaurant, rather than ordering a paparazzi-defeating takeaway.
* Car made of matchsticks. you can't actually drive it though.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 13 Feb.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* Geri Halliwell wants to become an actor
* Ross Kemp wants to become recognised as an actor
* Man shot for listening to MP3 player - well he was listening to Michael Buble.
* There is a dinosaur that had a trumpet for a faceListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 11 February.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* There is a robot doctor who can probe you and cup your balls to diagnose a limited selection of illnesses.
* Sienna Miller is slowly turning into Denise Van Outen.
* Pig likes roast dinners, especially yorkshire pudding. Finally the toad has turned against the hole.
* Camden burned, but it was only the rubbish bit.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 4 February.mp3Hello there. This is the news:
* Sarcozy gets married and lets that nice lady run France whilst he is on his honeymoon.
* Spice Girls cancel tour for murky reasons.
* Man falls of roof whilst drunk. Let that be a lesson to you, kids.
* I no longer understand the difference between fiction and reality, and neither does Andrew Lloyd Webber or his friend the phantom of the opera.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 27 January.mp3Hello. This is the news:
* French man loses all the French money and causes the world stock markets to collapse. More importantly, as a consequence of this the French man now only has 4 friends left on facebook.
* Chimp writes a book
* Can't remember if Amy Winehouse is in rehab at the moment or not. I think she is.
* Labour in more trouble with the whole illegal donation thing. Boooooring.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newpox 21 January.mp3Hello. This is the news.
* Is today a good day or bad day? Most say that it is a bad day, but we've had quite a productive time of it
* Apples, Onions and Beer all up
* Rains down
* Floods up
* Madeline McCann was snatched by Slade
* Woman proclaims herself queen of fridges. Similarly Zena declares war on America. None of it really counts though.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 15 january.mp3Hello. This is the news:
* Leona Lewis is nominated for 4 Brit Awards, even though she has only done one good song and one other song that no-one can remember
* Butler Burrell has written two books about Princess - who knew?
* Carrots genetically modified to be full of cheese.
* Katie Holmes wedding day was a highlight for her, which is unusual with wedding days.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 14 January.mp3Hello. This is the news:
* Congratulations! To Tony Blair, who has a new job.
* Congratulations! To Snoop Dogg and David Beckham who have a new business together, designing and manufacturing luxury slippers
* Congratulations! To Xtina Aguleria and Nicole Richie who've given birth this weekend.
* Congratulations to those people who won Golden Globes but didn't get to have a ceremony.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 10 January.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* Queen pregnant (again)
* Will Smith a scientologist
* Amy Winehouse blonde
* Donkeys dead.
To be honest it's not a big news day.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 8 January.mp3Hello. This is the news:
* This year we will mostly be eating foam.
* Hillary Clinton cried like a girl when it looked like she wouldn't win the election.
* We have become strongly anti-Ringo.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 7 January.mp3Hello, good afternoon and welcome to 2008. This is the news:
* The American Election is hotting up and William Hague thinks we should copy them so we can hot up too.
* Paris Hilton has her sights set on an Oscar. Be afraid.
* Meercats are vicious.
* Divorce is the new black.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 18 Dec.mp3Hello there. This is the news:
* There is a new Prince called Prince Severn, apparently, like the river.
* There is a new leader of the lib dems called Nick Clegg, like the old man in Last Of The Summer Wine.
* Amy Winehouse having to stump up for her husbands legal fees, which is only right as he is so clearly guilty and a wrong-un.
* Pamela Anderson will probably want to marry him next.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox17 December.mp3Hello. This is the news:
* It's nearly Christmas, so give yourself a little treat.
* Man has affair with woman
* Another man goes to a lap dancing club
* A man goes to his sons school and has a kick around
* A baby is influential.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 10 December.mp3Hello, Christmas greetings and this is the news:
* That canoe man is stupid and greedy and so his wife, who has also stolen Alistair Darlings eyebrows.
* There is a new creature called the long-eared jerboa, which is nice.
* There is a new fashion for gas masks. Don't do it kids/
* Please do not court publicity by fearing things like gang rape and AIDS that haven't actually happened to you.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 3 December.mp3Hello. Here is the neeeeeeeeews:
* He's free is Mohammed the Teddy Bear
* He's free is the cat with a peanut butter jar on his head
* He's back is that canoeist who disappeared, like Harold Bishop.
* Vlad Putin is still going strong is Russia
* Zena is cheating and eating all her chocolates out of her advent calendar.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 26 November.mp3Hello. Here is them Newses:
* Kids have all got AIDS.
* Britney Spears wants to adopt some chinese babies, as her life simply isn't complicated enough.
* Marc Bannerman turns out to be a wife beater.
* Geri Halliwell can't talk.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 19 November.mp3SORRY - FOR REASONS BEYOND OUR IMAGINING, THIS IS A VERY POOR QUALITY RECORDING
Here is the news!
* We're back!
* There has been a cyclone.
* A rabbit has adopted some kittens.
* An old bus shelter is made of straw.
* Teabags are made of plastic.
* That sort of thing.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 12 November.mp3hello. This is the news:
* It's all gone to pot - bears are in trouble, London is burning and bird flu is back.
* On the plus side, I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here is a back and we aren't going to get hit by an asteroid just yet.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 6 November.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* Dogs get their own walk of fame.
* Wonky buildings rule
* Breast is best, as is a nice lie-in
* Scorpians can pounce, especially when they launch themselves from fruit.
* Did Barry George kill Jill Dando? We're not convinced.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 5 November.mp3Hello. This is the news:
* Paula Radcliffe and Katy Holmes do the NY marathon proving mums can run
* Boyzone reform. Donate enough to Children in Need and they won't sing.
* King Tut is a dessicated babe.
* Flies do some stuff.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 29 October.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* List of genius's comes out. It's a bit silly.
* Pop stars beware - there has been a spate of onstage injuries
* Bianca to return to Eastenders, Vera to die in Corrie.
* Minks and naked men on the loose!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 24 October.mp3Hello. This is our news:
* James Blunt inexplicably attractive to publicity hungry blondes
* Russian serial killer is banged to rights
* but he'll have a cushy time in prison, as they live in total luxury
* An old elephant is very old.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 23 October.mp3Hello. This, and only this, is the news:
* Monkeys kill man.
* Boy gets cone stuck on his head.
* Baldrick kills a man by putting a splinter in his head.
* Girls Aloud turn their dainty hands to songwriting.
* Boris Johnston is stylish and dating Kate Moss.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 22 October.mp3Hello. this is that news that you were asking for:
* Killer bug on the loose, but don't worry about it.
* We weren't very good at sport this weekend as we are a nation of Charlie Browns.
* Lib Dem lieadership contest to be decided by a nice game of the Krypton Factor
* Amy Winehouse has gone blonde and now looks exactly like Myra Hindley
* Coke is it!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 16th October.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* We pay tribute to the late Menzies Campbell who was harassed about his age so much he dropped dead
* Dinosaur alive and well and developing an allergy to modern life
* Diana died in car crash shocker
* If you want to do it with a horse give it some chocolate and stand on a chest of drawers.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 15 October.mp3Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 8 October.mp3Hello - here is the news:
* Tony Blair is on holiday in Egypt, brokering peace by playing Grand Theft Auto in Sharm El Sheikh
* Princess Diana - we solve the mysteries surroundng her mysterious death.
* I shot the sheriff, but i did not shoot the deputy.
* Alistair Darling looks like an old Harry Potter.
* Debt Crisis!
* Booze fuelled Britain.
* all the classicsListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 25 September.mp3Hello. Here is the news:
* Cyclops are taking over the media
* Yesterday Farnborough was just like Oz (as in the Wizard of, not the prison based TV drama.)
* Kate McCann is the new face of M&S
* Religion is bad.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 24 September.mp3Hello. Here is the news, live from the Labour Party Conference.
* Blue Tongue disease has mostly been affecting Midge Ure and cows that have been eating cola flavour lollies.
* Madelaine McCann spotted in Morocco having a go on a camel.
* Britney Spears is the worst mother in the world.
* We wave goodbye to Marcel Marceau, who now really is trapped in a box. Justice at last.
* Why not play Scrabulous with Ian Huntley, or give him a fish for his virtual Aquarium?
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
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