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Primary Format : Comedy Language : Unknown Also Listed as: City : London State/Province : London Country : United Kingdom Region : EU User Tags: User Votes: RSS Feed Website People found this Podcast Searching for: View this Podcast on a Google Map. Podcast iTunes Link Text Only listing of NewsPox Podcasts Methings.com listings of NewsPox Podcasts If you like this podcast, you might also like:

Newspox 7 April.mp3 Hello. Here is the Olympics* Olympic Flame carried through the streets of London a health and safety nightmare.* We turn out to know a surprising amount about the FA cup.* There is a thingy that is a cross between a Llama and a Camel but it is not called a cama or Llamal (from Kajagoogoo), but a rama. Stupid name.* Kate Moss is queen of fashion again, due to Kylie catsuit error. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 17 December.mp3 Hello. It's the last NewsPox of the year, but not exactly a classic as there isn't much news: * Virgin birth happens on a donkey * Something to do with some kings * Woolies down the dumper * Don't listen if you don't want to know what Kate Moss has got her daughter for Christmas. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 15 December.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Women ignores advice of horse and decides to get married anyway. * George Bush geta show thrown at his head * Everyone is too thin * X Factor finishes and someone won. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox December 9.mp3 Hello. Here is the news. Or is it? You can listen and decide. * 70 year old woman gives birth * Prince is 50 * Train crash in Japan * Lily Allen gets a new tattoo Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox December 8.mp3 Hello. Today we played a game. Can you spot the real news stories from the the made-up ones. Is truth stranger than fiction? In the case of Jeremy Clarkson, yes; but in all other instances, no. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 1 December 2008.mp3 Hello. Happy advent calendar day. This is the news: * Hilary gets a job starting wars for Barack Obama * Metro gets a new look - more showbiz and a nicer font. * Ann from Neighbours saved from toilet disaster in Mumbai. Ann. You remember Ann. She went out with Billy. Yeah, Ann. * The credit crunch makes love, not war. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 26th November.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Gordon Brown in a huff with David Cameron * British Fritzl sent down * Amy Winehouse in clinic * Zena is going out with eighties throwback David Van Day. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 24 November 2008.mp3 Hello. Here is the news for you: * It was the pre-budget report today. This is what happened: - VAT down to 15% - People earning over £150,000 will be taxed 45% in 2011, unless this is reversed before then. - Increase in NI - Votes for women - Everyone encouraged to go to the shops * Gordon Ramsay is in trouble * Adopt a deformed animal and have a Downs baby. It's all cool these days. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 18th November.mp3 Hello. Here is the news for you. * I'm a Celebrity, Please Get Me Out of Here has started and we are officially backing George. Go go gay old fella! * Ahoy me hearties, piracy on the high seas causes new oil crisis. * Get an injection to make you go skinny, orange and make you tits bigger. It's going to be complusory for all girls in primary school. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 11 November.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * it's behind you * Elephant and sheep are unlikely friends. They met on Facebook. * Barack Obama is sexy. Gordon Brown is doing his best. * Turn a different corner and we never would have met. * Don't do anything slightly sweary or offensive on the radio or you will get fired. If you are on the radio don't do anything sweary or offensive in your private life either - the BBC are watching you. * We strongly dislike Henry Conway. Still. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox November 4.mp3 Hello y'all. It's an American election special. Yee-hah! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox November 3rd.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * There was some sort of kerfuffle with Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand and a rat in a tin of crackers. * Little Lewis Hamilton won a race in his big brum brum car. * Anthrax is in bongos * They drink Um Bongo in the Congo * Man has entire cast of Upper Hand tattooed across his chest. * That sort of thing, you know. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox October 22.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Big Mo Al-Fayed in trouble for touching up sexy underage schoolgirls * Victoria Beckham has cars to match her clothes and that is why the credit crunch is now officially a recession * Would you go back in time and kill Hitler. You can if you want. * Cat's die if they eat flowers. Don't feed them flyers. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 21 October.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Tigers have a nice swim * Sir Alan says "do business with Britain" * Peaches says "marriage isn't forever" in a rare moment of wisdom. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 20th October.mp3 Hello to you, and welcome to the last week of October. Here is the news: * It's definitely a recession, so tighten those belts, fatties. * Peter Mandelson has a problem down below * Bruce Forsythe is 80 and so is Russell Brand and Ricky Gervais. All old fellas. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 14 October.mp3 Hello. This is the news. * Gordon Brown has maybe saved the day * J-Lo renewing her wedding vows. She is a complusive vower * Mice get wigs. * The world is full of shits. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 8th October.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * There has been a bank bail-out and an interest rate drop. Does this mean the end of the credit crunch? No. * High School Musical 3 has opened at cinemas. Does this mean the end of entertainment as we know it? Yes. * Wedding cake made of cheese. * Jade Goody planning own funeral. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 7 October.mp3 Hello. We're back (again) and here is the news: * Mandy back again * Markets crashed again * Mr Gay UK murdered and ate his lover - recipe available in the giant Fat Duck Cookery Book by Heston Blumenthal. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 17 September.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: Everything is awful That's it. We're having a break again now. Bye. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 16 September.mp3 Hello. The News is coming at you... NOW! * Damien Hirst has by-passed all the usual ways to sell art - dealers, ebay, hanging it on the railings outside Regents park - by having a bloody big auction and he's made a fortune out of it. Well done, Damo. * Some minor Labour Party is bullying poor Gordon Brown by quitting in protest. * Don't think much of the cheeky Girl's tits. * Zena will murder me one day. * Do you have a desk at work? How long would it take you to clear it? How many boxes? I ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 10 September.mp3 Hello you! Welcome to NewsPox and not the end of the world. * Hear special guest Peter Buckley Hill, giving us a man's perspective on the news * Gasp in amazement as we tell you what we think of Posh's new haircut * Reel as we tell you again about the 5 steps of Paedophilia * Listen to a pig in lipstick Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 9 September.mp3 Hello! We're still back. Two days in a row is a 4 month record, I reckon. See how the old enthusiasm for news has returned. * Josef Fritzl has his own tribute act called Polish Fritzl * Sarah Brown has been hanging out with Naomi Campbell but it didn't end well. * Boys, if you are out on the lash tonight do not invite your drunken friend to stay the night just in case you accidentally bum him, thinking he is your wife (who loves being bummed.) Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 8 September.mp3 HEllO! We're back after an extended summer break. Listen in to hear what we got up to. We'll also discuss the big news of the summer: * The weather * The Olympics * The American Elections * The Credit Crunch * M&S turning evil * Dick Dodd's Dead Dad's dog Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 15 July.mp3 Hello. This is the news: * The Jolie-Pitt twins have arrived and they are hot top models already. They won't get out of the womb for less than £10million * Man pets sheep * Ronnie Wood goes on a mental bender witha russian tatu style teenage lovely, which is a bit embarassing for everyone really. I am embarassed to be writing this. * What is the difference between a magpie and a dalek? Lots really, but children don't know. What do they have in common? A love of shiny stuff. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 7 July.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * It is 7/7, like when those bombs went off. People will do some creepy silent dancing to commemorate how the weather was much better then. * Lily Allen has bought a bucket AND a mop. They match, which is classy. * Cardiff Airport to be renamed Gavin & Stacey Airport or the Duffy Is Tom Jones's Love Child Airport. * Madonna not getting divorced * Alan Sugar not in plane crash Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 1 July.mp3 Hello. Here is the news at the start of July. * Oooh it's hot, but the nights are drawing in. * Madeline McCann: no news * Bees on the loose * Ken Livingstone likes chutney on his ham sandwiches * Charlotte Church is going to be burnt at the stake for saying she wants a lot of children. What a bitch. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 10 June.mp3 We're back! We've been awfully busy, but not too busy to keep up with the important global and politcal news. So here is a round up of what has been going on over the past 3 weeks: * Zena might have ever brought chips off of super model Agynes Deyn, but probably hasn't * Some Dolphins got lost and died. * Prince Charles died * the Camden Fringe website went live * Boris is yet to completely fuck up being Mayor * Lily Allen done her hair pink. Phew! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 14 May.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * What ever happened to little Shannon and her pikey family? * Gordon Brown is the new Sir Alan. Hooray! * The Housing Minister, Bungle from Rainbow, puts her notes in a poly pocket instead of a ringbinder and now she is in trouble. * Kelly Brook and Billy whatsit from that film where he was mad and on a boat - Zane, that's it, split up and now they are back together. * You can make your own hat like the one worn by SJP at the SATC premiere with just a hat, a p ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 7 May.mp3 Here is the weekly news: * Someone left Boris in charge and now he is banning picaninnies from the buses. * Cliff was robbed by Franco in jealous lovers' tiff * Northern people are all common. Don't hit me, it's true because Brian McFadden says so. * Kylie is an M&S slut on tour, apparently. * The cellar fella likes to play with prozzies poo, which is relatively normal compared to looking up your own daughter and raping her for 24 years. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 30 April.mp3 Hello. Here is the weekly news round up of the week: * Humph dies. * John Peel died ages ago * Madeleine McCann still missing - one year on * Tiny Austrian cellar where a man raped his own daughter for 24 years being sold by Foxtons for a cool half a mil. * Beans sexed up to be more relivent to the under 30's * Vote Ken. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 15 April.mp3 Hello chaps! Here is the news: * Gordon Brown is about to be ousted by a mystery fox * We are beginning to think Labour just ain't no good, as they've sold all the primary schools to make luxuxry flats and now kids ahve to be taught maths in their local MacDonalds. We're all being Hamburgled. * Is Joss Stone annoying? Yes. * Is James Blunt cool? No. * Have we met Les Dennis? Yes. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 14 April.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * A remote part of Paddington station has been discovered in a remote part of Paddington station. * Some girls went travelling and were involved in an accident and died. I'm not saying it isn't sad, but it is just an accident, and could have just as easily as happened in Swansea as in wherever it was they were. Columbia? * Babies have been born. * Marathons have been run. * Life goes on. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 9 April.mp3 Hello. This is a news: * Mohammad Al Fayed gets in a huff and just gives up, for the sake of the kiddies * George Clooney looks better in magazines, though still handsome in real life * The village of Lunt changes its name, as people keep defacing the roadsigns and calling it Cunt. Ha ha ha. It is changing it's name to Pastard-upon-Tils * Geri Halliwell's daughter Bluebell Madonna Halliwell throws a hissy fit in an airport, showing early diva tendencies. She's already been signed up by Max ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 8 April.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Pete Doherty finally banged up in the big house for being a naughty little tinker * Princess Diana died in a accident * Tom Cruise is a freaky scientologist and that is the sort of quality we are all looking for in a god father figure. * Monkeys like tonka toys * That credit crunch is happening, it's all because of 15 years ago. yeah Britpop. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 1 April.mp3 Hello Jokers, it is April Fools Day and here is the really true news: * Poor people more likely to be in road accidents for some reason * Turtle become a heavy smoker and gets nicotine withdrawal * Happy Birthday, the Red Arrows * George Clooney to adopt Britney, or perhaps get another pig and just call it Britney. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 31 March.mp3 Hello. We're back after an unexplained Easter break. And this is the news: * That airport turned out to be rubbish then * Skint Queen cancels knees up * Lamb born that looks a little bit like a panda * Jamie Hince dresses like a tramp or something. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 17 March.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Twiddly diddly dee it's St Patricks day. Or is it? * Bear convicted of theft of honey from bee hive. * Scouts are a bit cheeky these days, and quite old as well. * Shannon has been found alive and well is playing with a kitten. Lucky bitch. * Save water. * Basil Brush is a rascist and a murderer. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 12 March.mp3 Here is the news * Top cop flops off hilltop * A tiny monkey has been stolen in Argentina, apparently by the hand of God. * Britney has been given a weekly allowance of "just" £750. How much do they pay Metro journalists these days? * Man lives in shed, like a modern day hermit with a playstation. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 11 March.mp3 Hello newshounds, here is the news: * Courtney Love tells Britney to get a therapist and a new hairdresser. Sound advice. * Man sues M&S over minor grape based incident that didn't even take plan within the confines of M&S * Fire extinguishers condemned as fire hazard * Snake bites man * Rats saw God. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 10 March.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Vote for Ken, we reckon * Man rapes Henry the Hoover. * Make sure your intestines don't come out in the swimming pool. * Amy Winehouse to blame for third world hunger. * Sport was almost interesting this weekend, but not quite interesting enough to merit 14 hours of coverage in one day on BBC one. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 5 March.mp3 Hello. This is the news for today which is the 3th of March: * it is Wednesday! * Ian Paisley calls it quits - he's 81 snd a doctor, that shouldn't be allowed. * That childresn home in Jersey turns out to Bergerac set, just painted on cardboard. * Amy Winehouse is hard * Anna Friel is fit * So it Natalie Imbrulia * Hen gets chemotherapy costing £3000 on it's one good leg. * Man only has one good leg after he gets a lego off in freak tobogganing accident. He didn't even notice! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 3 March.mp3 Hello. This is the news. * Sorry. Zena has a touch of windy pops today. Both ends. * Shane from Westlife's Dad new Russian President * Frogs cure diabeties. That's why the French never get diabeties * The secret Diary of Hasnat Khan aged 53 or so, not sure, difficult to tell. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 25 February.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * New branch of Tesco built on Mars which sells Mars Bars, Mars Mallows and boxsets of Veronica Mars and Wham Bars. * Pilot does loop the loop near the airport with 75 passengers on board. He was sacked * Co-Pilot dies on a different flight with 300 passengers on board. He was buried. * The Oscars happened. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 18 February.mp3 Hello. This is the news: * Royal Family are all vampires * Alistair Darling gets his privates out. Turns out his pubes are black, like his eyebrows. * Britney goes out to a restaurant, rather than ordering a paparazzi-defeating takeaway. * Car made of matchsticks. you can't actually drive it though. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 13 Feb.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Geri Halliwell wants to become an actor * Ross Kemp wants to become recognised as an actor * Man shot for listening to MP3 player - well he was listening to Michael Buble. * There is a dinosaur that had a trumpet for a face Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 11 February.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * There is a robot doctor who can probe you and cup your balls to diagnose a limited selection of illnesses. * Sienna Miller is slowly turning into Denise Van Outen. * Pig likes roast dinners, especially yorkshire pudding. Finally the toad has turned against the hole. * Camden burned, but it was only the rubbish bit. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 4 February.mp3 Hello there. This is the news: * Sarcozy gets married and lets that nice lady run France whilst he is on his honeymoon. * Spice Girls cancel tour for murky reasons. * Man falls of roof whilst drunk. Let that be a lesson to you, kids. * I no longer understand the difference between fiction and reality, and neither does Andrew Lloyd Webber or his friend the phantom of the opera. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 27 January.mp3 Hello. This is the news: * French man loses all the French money and causes the world stock markets to collapse. More importantly, as a consequence of this the French man now only has 4 friends left on facebook. * Chimp writes a book * Can't remember if Amy Winehouse is in rehab at the moment or not. I think she is. * Labour in more trouble with the whole illegal donation thing. Boooooring. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newpox 21 January.mp3 Hello. This is the news. * Is today a good day or bad day? Most say that it is a bad day, but we've had quite a productive time of it * Apples, Onions and Beer all up * Rains down * Floods up * Madeline McCann was snatched by Slade * Woman proclaims herself queen of fridges. Similarly Zena declares war on America. None of it really counts though. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 15 january.mp3 Hello. This is the news: * Leona Lewis is nominated for 4 Brit Awards, even though she has only done one good song and one other song that no-one can remember * Butler Burrell has written two books about Princess - who knew? * Carrots genetically modified to be full of cheese. * Katie Holmes wedding day was a highlight for her, which is unusual with wedding days. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 14 January.mp3 Hello. This is the news: * Congratulations! To Tony Blair, who has a new job. * Congratulations! To Snoop Dogg and David Beckham who have a new business together, designing and manufacturing luxury slippers * Congratulations! To Xtina Aguleria and Nicole Richie who've given birth this weekend. * Congratulations to those people who won Golden Globes but didn't get to have a ceremony. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 10 January.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Queen pregnant (again) * Will Smith a scientologist * Amy Winehouse blonde * Donkeys dead. To be honest it's not a big news day. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 8 January.mp3 Hello. This is the news: * This year we will mostly be eating foam. * Hillary Clinton cried like a girl when it looked like she wouldn't win the election. * We have become strongly anti-Ringo. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 7 January.mp3 Hello, good afternoon and welcome to 2008. This is the news: * The American Election is hotting up and William Hague thinks we should copy them so we can hot up too. * Paris Hilton has her sights set on an Oscar. Be afraid. * Meercats are vicious. * Divorce is the new black. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 18 Dec.mp3 Hello there. This is the news: * There is a new Prince called Prince Severn, apparently, like the river. * There is a new leader of the lib dems called Nick Clegg, like the old man in Last Of The Summer Wine. * Amy Winehouse having to stump up for her husbands legal fees, which is only right as he is so clearly guilty and a wrong-un. * Pamela Anderson will probably want to marry him next. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox17 December.mp3 Hello. This is the news: * It's nearly Christmas, so give yourself a little treat. * Man has affair with woman * Another man goes to a lap dancing club * A man goes to his sons school and has a kick around * A baby is influential. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 10 December.mp3 Hello, Christmas greetings and this is the news: * That canoe man is stupid and greedy and so his wife, who has also stolen Alistair Darlings eyebrows. * There is a new creature called the long-eared jerboa, which is nice. * There is a new fashion for gas masks. Don't do it kids/ * Please do not court publicity by fearing things like gang rape and AIDS that haven't actually happened to you. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 3 December.mp3 Hello. Here is the neeeeeeeeews: * He's free is Mohammed the Teddy Bear * He's free is the cat with a peanut butter jar on his head * He's back is that canoeist who disappeared, like Harold Bishop. * Vlad Putin is still going strong is Russia * Zena is cheating and eating all her chocolates out of her advent calendar. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 26 November.mp3 Hello. Here is them Newses: * Kids have all got AIDS. * Britney Spears wants to adopt some chinese babies, as her life simply isn't complicated enough. * Marc Bannerman turns out to be a wife beater. * Geri Halliwell can't talk. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 19 November.mp3 SORRY - FOR REASONS BEYOND OUR IMAGINING, THIS IS A VERY POOR QUALITY RECORDING Here is the news! * We're back! * There has been a cyclone. * A rabbit has adopted some kittens. * An old bus shelter is made of straw. * Teabags are made of plastic. * That sort of thing. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 12 November.mp3 hello. This is the news: * It's all gone to pot - bears are in trouble, London is burning and bird flu is back. * On the plus side, I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here is a back and we aren't going to get hit by an asteroid just yet. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 6 November.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Dogs get their own walk of fame. * Wonky buildings rule * Breast is best, as is a nice lie-in * Scorpians can pounce, especially when they launch themselves from fruit. * Did Barry George kill Jill Dando? We're not convinced. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 5 November.mp3 Hello. This is the news: * Paula Radcliffe and Katy Holmes do the NY marathon proving mums can run * Boyzone reform. Donate enough to Children in Need and they won't sing. * King Tut is a dessicated babe. * Flies do some stuff. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 29 October.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * List of genius's comes out. It's a bit silly. * Pop stars beware - there has been a spate of onstage injuries * Bianca to return to Eastenders, Vera to die in Corrie. * Minks and naked men on the loose! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 24 October.mp3 Hello. This is our news: * James Blunt inexplicably attractive to publicity hungry blondes * Russian serial killer is banged to rights * but he'll have a cushy time in prison, as they live in total luxury * An old elephant is very old. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 23 October.mp3 Hello. This, and only this, is the news: * Monkeys kill man. * Boy gets cone stuck on his head. * Baldrick kills a man by putting a splinter in his head. * Girls Aloud turn their dainty hands to songwriting. * Boris Johnston is stylish and dating Kate Moss. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 22 October.mp3 Hello. this is that news that you were asking for: * Killer bug on the loose, but don't worry about it. * We weren't very good at sport this weekend as we are a nation of Charlie Browns. * Lib Dem lieadership contest to be decided by a nice game of the Krypton Factor * Amy Winehouse has gone blonde and now looks exactly like Myra Hindley * Coke is it! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 16th October.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * We pay tribute to the late Menzies Campbell who was harassed about his age so much he dropped dead * Dinosaur alive and well and developing an allergy to modern life * Diana died in car crash shocker * If you want to do it with a horse give it some chocolate and stand on a chest of drawers. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 15 October.mp3 Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 8 October.mp3 Hello - here is the news: * Tony Blair is on holiday in Egypt, brokering peace by playing Grand Theft Auto in Sharm El Sheikh * Princess Diana - we solve the mysteries surroundng her mysterious death. * I shot the sheriff, but i did not shoot the deputy. * Alistair Darling looks like an old Harry Potter. * Debt Crisis! * Booze fuelled Britain. * all the classics Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 25 September.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Cyclops are taking over the media * Yesterday Farnborough was just like Oz (as in the Wizard of, not the prison based TV drama.) * Kate McCann is the new face of M&S * Religion is bad. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 24 September.mp3 Hello. Here is the news, live from the Labour Party Conference. * Blue Tongue disease has mostly been affecting Midge Ure and cows that have been eating cola flavour lollies. * Madelaine McCann spotted in Morocco having a go on a camel. * Britney Spears is the worst mother in the world. * We wave goodbye to Marcel Marceau, who now really is trapped in a box. Justice at last. * Why not play Scrabulous with Ian Huntley, or give him a fish for his virtual Aquarium? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 4 September.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * It's a year since Steve Irwin died. We mourn for his loss all over a-bloody-gain * Don't eat Malteasers or Revels - they are full of rubber, and not in a good way. * The Lady Beefeater is already on maternity leave. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 3 September.mp3 Hello. This is the news: * Pig gets filled with sand and killed. * Foxes steal golf balls * Wild cats are cooked for tea in Australia. Probably on the barbie and washed down with a few tinnies. * Fruit prices up! * Chocolate consumption up! * At the same time, fruit and veg consumption Up! It doesn't make any sense. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 31 August -- Dead Di Spec.mp3 Hello. This is our DEAD DI SPESH and it's all about Princess Di and very topical indeed. Oh yes, she's only been dead for 10 years and for some reason we keep going on about Henry VIII. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 29 August.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * John Prescott retire from politics but is first in line for a new Spiderman costume that does whatever a spider can. * smoking is bad for you - and your mum agrees. * Amy Winehouse is having a nice holiday in the Caribbean, don't know if she took her own supply of heroin or not. * Princess Diana apparently peaked at the age of nine. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 20 august.mp3 Here is the slow news: * Baby squirrel rescued from cat and then given an inappropriate name * Stabbings are the new black * Preston and Chantelle - on or off? * Christmas is cancelled because of the bloody Chinese and their poisonous toys. * Speedos are the new Stabbings. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 16 August.mp3 Hello here is the news: * Congratulations on your A Level results. They are irrelevent to the rest of your life. Now move on. * It was 30 years ago today that Elvis Presley taught himself to die. * It was 20 years ago today that Bruce Willis released the Return of Bruno. Now he has done a comeback album. * Some people have been stabbed. * if you are the pope and want to change your wikipedia entry do it from a hotmail account. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website newspox 14 august.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Don't play with Polly Pocket - you will die. * Don't drink too much alcohol - you will die. * Don't drink too much coffee - you will die. * Don't kill half of the only breeding pair of golden eagles in Scotland - they will die and you will be revealed as a cunt. * Why not try having a lesbian dream like husky Mariella Frostrup. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 13 August.mp3 Here is the bloody news: * Madeline McCann is living in limbo and has her own modelling contract and range of clothes. Meanwhile there are children starving in Africa. * Piglet falls off the back of a lorry. * Monkey rides a dog like a horsey in a rodeo. * It's going to rain. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 1 August.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Sharks infest the seas * Crabs infest the toilets * Spiders are on our doorsteps * Nature has gone WILD * Ooh and celebrities are thin / fat / stupid / poorly dressed. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 7th August.mp3 Hello. Here is the news from tropical London: * There is a big planet made of farts. * Become a grass to earn a bit of extra pin money * Some Australian owls had some babies in London. * Gwyneth and Brad - are they over each other or will they be all over each other when they make a film together? I suspect the former. it's been 10 years, they've moved on. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 23 July 2007.mp3 Hello to you and you and you. Here is the news: * We have read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, but we will not spoil it for you. * It has been raining now for 40 days and 40 nights. That Umbrella song has been number one for the whole time - it's a vicious circle. * Tortoises in very slow gang-bang. * Britain these days is all FAKE. Even the floods aren't real. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 16 July.mp3 Hello. Here is the news. * We are very excited about the new big talent show Ken vs Boris fight it out to see who will play Dick Wittington in Andrew Lloyd Webbers new pantomime. * Sir David Attenborough (the egg laying mammal named after the famous naturist) is alive and well and living in Papua New Guinea. * Bins smell Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 9 July 2007.mp3 Hello. Back on form. Here is the news: * The Queen is Pregnant * Prince Harry dresses up in a tea towel and pretends to be a deadly gherkin * Nuclear power bad * Gordon Brown stuck in the toilet and is waiting for Tony Blair to rescue him. If anyone near downing street is reading this - go and let the poor sod out. The lock is stuck, or something. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 4 July.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * We are back, ahving accidentally side-stepped all the Terrorist attacks. * Alan Johnston is back from captivity and into something we call freedom, which mostly seems to involve being haranged by the press. * Harry Potter premiere happened. I think Daniel Radcliffe is gay. * Weather is bad and Wimbledon is going all wrong. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 27 June 2008.mp3 Hello Here is the news: * Chantelle and Preston split! it's the end of an era. * Paris Hilton released! It's the end of an era. * Michael Parkinson retires from his chat show. It's the end of an era. * oh and Tony and Gordon do some sort of job swap. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 26 June.mp3 News of the world: * multi-digit cat plays pool and uses cash register. It's mostly hanging around in pubs and making it's own entertainment. * It's been raingn fatally badly. * Hose-pipe ban announced. * Diamond encrusted ark being built by damien hirst * Louis Theroux has lipo to remove that stubborn fat from his fat back. * Giant penguins used to stalk the earth. Mostly waddling. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 25 June.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * We report from muddy Glastonbury. * Judge Hall is a big paedophile. * Harriet Harman is new deputy leader of the labour party, not the the deputy prime minister, because she is a girl. * Eastenders was good last week. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 20th June.mp3 Hello. Here comes the news: * Glastonbury is going to be a mud bath and all the ladies will be wearing tiny clothes from the Kate Moss top shop collections. * Nick Ross looking good for his age. Matthew Kelly, a little bit ropey. * New Egg controversy * Boy breaks T Shirt wearing record by one T-Shirt. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 19 June.mp3 Hello. Here is the NEWSSS: * Bears have big pores and shit in the woods. Try exfoliating love, and that Clinique pore minimiser stuff. * Bra down toilets explodes sewer * Tom Cruise to marry a man. * Julia Roberts has a baby even though she is practically a pensioner. * Pakistanis burn effigy of the Queen, which is no way to get into her good books or her new years honours list. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 18 June.mp3 Hello. Here is that news you've been asking for: * Sir Salman Rushdie to die by the Queen's sword * Woman rips off her ex's testicle in a rage over who actually owns the boxset of Sex And The City series 3. * Old Tortoise is older and wiser than all of us Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 13 June.mp3 Hello. Here am the news: * Hazel Blears huffs and puffs and blows her office down. * George Bush in mickey mouse watch racket. * Girls who love boys who like girls who like boys who look like their dads Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 12 June.mp3 Here is the news: * Gordon Brown has a cunning plan to get that David Cameron * All dads are rubbish and the world would be a better place if women could reproduce asexually. Although it's summer so we do have the horn. * Tracey new favourite to win Big Brother. * Man tries to sell roadkill for lots of money but isn't have any luck yet. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 11 June.mp3 Hello. It's a new day, it's a new week, it's a new life! here is the new news: * Cop killer on the loose * Gordon Brown is visiting Iraq so he can make up his own bloody mind. Secretly every woman fancies him. And Richard Madeley. * Sawfish are real and are protected. * paedophiles get special chain letter sent out by police to catch them out. Paedos are especially gullible. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 6 June.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Farewell Prezza, we hardly knew you. * Olympic logo still shit. * Posh has fancy pants, Kate's have gone a bit grey in the wash. * Property prices are a JOKE, just not a very funny one. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 5th June.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Olympic logo is crap. * Dad's are crap. * Big Brother house runs out of toilet paper. * Sex better than chocolate, say half of all women who were asked. They were all asked in a chocolate shop, so perhaps they were just being polite. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 4 June.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * We haven't watched any of Big Brother at all but we give a good 10 minute low-down on who we do and don't rate. * Boris Johnson has been at it again - he fancies Cherie Blair but he don't fancy no cocaine * Tigers are in trouble which is NOT grrrrrrrreat. * Man buys an old broken vase end it turns out to be a cool vase. * Polish man wakes up from 20 year coma to find out that there is an internet and reality TV has been invented plus you no longer have to queue fo ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 30 May 2007.mp3 Hello. Here is the news: * Dog plays pool * Some people look like other people * Some people kill themselves * some people will go into the Big Brother house tonight. They are girls and one of them is Kevin Keegans cousing and one is in the WI. Now there is no need to watch, stick The Apprentice on instead. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 29 May 2007.MP3 Here is the news: * Woman buys nice dress for £2 in charity shop. * Man leaves his mobile phone behind and misses lots of calls. * Newspapers desperately filling their pages with non-news. * Leopard gets into bed with a man. That's more like it. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 28 May 2007.MP3 Hello. Here is the news: * Noahs ark full of skanky animals who have all been cross-breeding to create deadly new species. * Lindsay Lohan doesn't so much fall off the wagon as crash the wagon into a load of paparazzi. * 2 days to go until the new Big Brother starts. Don't feel bad if you can't remember everyone who has been in the house in the past 8 series - there are over a hundred of them. * Big shoe department opens in New York shop. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox 23 may 2007.mp3 Hello. THIS IS THE NEWS: * Britain obsessed with Celebrity. No way, like, hello? Who says? * Camden to get it's own walk of fame celebrating musical celebrities. Brilliant! * One of Girls Aloud smoke 25 fags a day * Victoria Beckham has new hairstyle * Paris Hilton reads the bible. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 22 May 2007.mp3 Here is the news: * We're being particularly offensive. * David Cameron calls Tony Blair a pop star and then asks him to autograph his chest. * Big Brother - 8 days to go. * I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 21 May 2007.mp3 Hello. Here is some news: * Cutty Sark made into matches * Joan Rivers has plastic surgery * Bambi is true * Chris Tarrant memorial curry created * Anne Frank's house daubed graffiti saying "Anne Frank woz ere", which luckily didn't happen when the Nazi's were after her. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 16 May 2007.mp3 Hello. Here are the newses: * Lily Allen has perked up a bit. * Gordon Brown is laughing with this whole leadership election thing. Hazel Blears is crying - or at least she should be. * Cancer deaths have halved in the past 30 years - that's good isn't it? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 15 May 2007.mp3 Hello Here is the neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeews!: * Kate Moss kills kittens and makes them into shampoo * Chris Martin gets pissed up and moons at queen * Lily Allen starts feud wuth Girls Aloud * Girls Aloud start feud with Gordon Ramsay. * Gordon Ramsay starts feud with a horse. Now hear the word of the lord. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 14 May 2007.MP3 Hello. Here is the news: * Ugly people not allowed out to have sex ever, according to dating website. I say one thing to you: Troggs and Beauts. * Gordon Brown to make 5 new towns out of recycled paper and compost. * Chocolate by Mars is now full of meat. Ban this filth. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 10 May 2007.MP3 TONY BLAIR SPECIAL! We discuss his highlights, his lowlights and his other hairstyles. Also: Prezza - he's resigned as well and did some stuff over the past ten years. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 9 May 2007.MP3 Hello here is the news in the style of a Gran: * That Keith Allen's daughter makes clothes for that shop down the street, next to the bakery. * I don't like all that news, it's depressing * That rich american girl with the big glasses has been driving her whatsit around and she's been banned already. ha ha ha. * OOh, I love that Roy Walker. * Isn't is sad about all those lads who died on the motorway, reminds me of the war? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 8 May 2007.MP3 It's our birthday and we'll cry if we want to. Today is our first podcasting anniversary. What do you think of that then? * Bad crash on M25 * Paris goes to prison * Sarkozy is the boss of France * MySpace and YouTube available to all prisoners in Iran prisons. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 2 May.MP3 Hello NewsPoxerizers. Here is the News: * Gay BP boss lies in court and looses 15million in bonuses, but still gets 21.5 million pension plan so he can spend the money on gay stuff like Jimmy Somerville records, cock rings, sleeveless T-shirts, Barbra Striesand tickets and rent boys. * Boiled eggs are good for you. * Peter Andre - poorly but by no means a goner. * Kiera Knightly - who cares? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 1 May.MP3 Zena is back from Turkey and here is the news: * Terrorists are too young to be effective * Stacey Slater a babe * Kate Moss does massive car boot sale on Oxford Street * Gay men all giving each other AIDS * Peter Kay an ego-maniac Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 27 April.MP3 Featuring Special Guest Star HANNAH!! * Man pulls an aeroplane 4 metres using his ears. * Woman of 24 weighs 32 stone, and is too fat for sex, yet still she has more luck with the men-fellas than we do. * Hugh Grant and the British press in temptestuous love / hate relationship. * Boris Yeltsin's corpse to guest host new series of Friday Night Project. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 25 April.MP3 Hello. The news woz ere: * Squeaky voiced footballer dies * Man does brilliant bet on living to a hundred and he won * Britney has lost some weight * Ted Heath was a big gay prime minister. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 23 April.MP3 Hello. It's Monday and here is the solo NewsPox news round-up: * Boris Yeltsin has died. He was Russian and aged 76. He is most famous for being drunk and the President of the Russia, where he pioneered not queueing up for 3 days for one potato, and the concept of sexy soviet models. * The election in France is hot! Hot! HOT! The Frenchies are currently doing some excellent politics and polling at yesterdays, errr, polls saw 80% of the population voting. At NewsPox we are supporting Segle ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 18 April.MP3 Here is the news: * NEWSPOX BOOK OUT NOW! * Big nob on bowling green * Everyone else is having more sex than us, and they aren't happy about it. * "Right" Said Richard Fairbrass "make me mayor" Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 17 April.MP3 Here is the news: * Cheeky Korean goes on mad shooting rampage in American School. * Kate and Wills still split up. She can do better. * David Cameron is a trainspotter. * Edwards Norton is in a whole hulk of trouble. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 16 April.MP3 Hello. Here is the news: * Kate and Prince William in break-up shocker. Did he finish with her or did she ditch him? We need to know, and Woolies are furious as they'd already designed commemorative mugs. * Have your nob trimmed if you don't want to get AIDS * Gordon Brown will take on anyone for the Labour Leadership. Bring it on. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 11 April.MP3 Hello - here is the news in our world: * Anna-Nicole Smith's daughter has a daddy - it's Larry Birkhead, the photographer. Not any of the gays, women or blacks who were trying to get in on the act. * Removal Men drop a grand piano. Coo-ee Mr Fixer. * Women don't fancy men who still live with their mum. * There is a planet with water on it 150 light years away, but don't bother investing in property there until they get planning permission for a Waitrose, Pizza Express or Habitat. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 10 April.MP3 news: * easter eggs make you fat * capital letters are out * paedophiles are on a list * Dave Rowntree for president * sailors are media whores Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 2 April.MP3 Hello here is the news: * Kate Moss is U*G*L*Y * War with Iran is imminent. * Coleen is 21 and made everyone eat her face in cake * Serenity better than Star Wars. Fact. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 28 March.MP3 Hello, here is the news: * SUSPENDED: Les Battersby from Coronation Street, Gus from Eastenders and the late Seth from Emmerdale * Lindsay Lohan - is she slagging about again? * Teenagers are up to all sorts of murders and rapes again. The shits. * Mucca trips the light fandango, but Beatles fans still aren't keen. * Channel Five is ten * The Apprentice is on the telly tonight. Good. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 27 March.MP3 Hello hello hello. Here is the news: * Alcohol in pubs to be banned for the under-27's, as they don't deserve it * Instead the young'uns will be forced to drink Disney's hooky champagne PartyFizz at bus stops * Elephant with a huge erection kills mother and daughter humans * Wolves have been cloned and semi-indentical twins have been born. It's all happening birth-wise. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 26 March.MP3 Hello. It's Spring! Here is the news: * CCTV is taking over Britain, we're all in a reality show that is made by Tony Blair. * Woman tells of her tragic, yet sensual, one night stand with Saddam Hussein * Viagra for ladies libidos launched * Trains are over crowded and this is bad * Monochrome is IN * Egg news: Please send us chocolate eggs to test Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 21 March.MP3 Hello here is our budget special: * The budget has happen. Gordon Brown has cracked two funnies and whiolst he has given with one hand he has had a wank with the other. * Maxine Carr loves Ian Huntley, but she also hates him. * Woman employs tramp as childminder, which is very similar to the plot of Jack and Sarah, so lets not condemn. * America is learning to hate Mucca Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 20 March.MP3 News in your goddamn face: * The Tories are toying with the idea of policies and Gordon Brown is gearing up for his final budget * Naomi Campbell has been working an orange vest and some neo-victoriana-style boots for her community service mopping floors * Shakira has a good tummy * Easter Eggs stolen in daring Easter Egg raid * Film to be made about Thatcher, and then one about the Easter Egg raid. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 19 March.MP3 Here si the news: * Cricketers go on mad drunken rampage, just to prove they aren't boring. * Teddy Sheringham and Danielle Lloyd are having a televised strip poker game tonight - winner takes all, including the rights to having stories published in Closer magazine. * British people can only cook 4 meals - stir fry, roast, spag bol, pasta and sauce (which is basically the same as spag bol.) This week I'm interested in trying home-made pizza with a proper dogh base, perhaps even wholemeal. * ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 14 March.MP3 Hello. By golly it's a slow news. They've been reporting a story about a stuck hamster on BBC radio news, which rather proves the point. Anyway, this is what we've come up with. * Heather Mills has been on Telly claiming that her divorce has been "mega stressful". She refused to sign a beatles album for a fan in america, and is odds-on favourite to get booted out of the US verson of Strictly Come Dancing first, before the show has even started. * Hairy babies were killed by cavewomen. That' ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 13 March.MP3 Hello. Here is the news of the world: * Sitting at a desk can kill you. Drink green tea to prevent this happening. * King David Gest is the real king of jungle. Young pretender Matt Willis rigged the phone votes. * Charlotte Church wants a Welsh baby boy with her singing voice and Gavin's tan. * Mucca to finally speak out on American TV. * New money will have the face of Adam West, better know as TV's Batman, on it. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 7 March.MP3 Hello here is todays news and sport: *Billie and Chris are back together *Robbie is out of re-hab *There has been a murder, some incest, a plane crash and an earth quake *fat thin fat thin fat thin fat thin *Richard Madeley is FURIOUS Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 6 March actual.MP3 Hello. Here is the news * ITV have cancelled all pointless phone-ins, just for a while. Why not try watching ITV to see what they fill in the time with. * Chinese go to the moon made of cheese, despite a dire dairy allergy * Fat girl says to other fatties, "don't get as fat as me". At the same time a clothing company start a new line of clothing for fat kids. Get your size 30 spiderman pyjamas in a store near you soon. * THIS IS NOT NEWS: Trains cost more than planes. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 6 March.MP3 Here is the news, our first lot of news for March * TB is back, back BACK! and it's all the rage. * Liz Hurley wed's in the same old dress Versace dress she usually wears, but bleached white. * Take That are number one. * Polish weight-lifter moves to UK to sort out our rubbish. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 28 February.MP3 Hello. Here is the news: * Trogs vs Beauts. The mutant underclass are gaining strength through the power of fat children. let them eat MacDonalds, we say. Ban MacDonalds, Prince Charles says. * Victoria Beckham has met Forest Gump * Baby dies and then comes back to life, over a year ago * Jade goes to India and tries not to put her foot in it. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 27 February.MP3 Quick quick. Here is the news: * Zena is furious * Barry is going to be in Celebrity Fame Academy and we predict he will win. * Director of Titanic and Terminator finds Jesus' body. Page 9. * John Travolta is a wiggy. * That fat boy is still fat and now he has Jeremy Vine on his case. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 26 February.MP3 Hello. How are you? Here is the news: * The Oscars happened. Helen Mirren's Queen is the Queen of the Oscars. * Britney is in rehab, hiding from everyone else. * Jo from Big Brother/S Club attempted yep for help by guzzling 6 calpol and a couple of asprins. * Danielle Lloyd claims to have dumped Teddy Sherringham because he cheated on her. I think it's because he took her to We Will Rock You for Valentines Day. * There is a fat boy who might get taken into care and deprived of pies. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 21 February.MP3 Wotcha cock! Here is some of the news: * Britney did have fleas and now she is in Rehab. * Prezza is spending a fortune doing nothing much in his office. Mostly the money is going on M&S buns and games for his Wii. * A tiny baby was born half-baked and it's now fully cooked and has gone home. * Chantelle says Madonna isn't a style icon. Chantelle is thick. And Preston can fuck off as well. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 20 February.MP3 Hello. Today's headlines are: * Britney Spears wears a wig. If she brought up all the locks of her own hair being sold on ebay she's have enough hair for six wigs. Wierd that. * Little Mark Owen still loves Robbie. Come one Robbie, a hug from Marky will make you feel loads better. * Some bad black men do stabbings on the tube, they've been caught now. * Man's finger is replaced by a sausage, or something. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 19 February.MP3 Here is the news: * Britney Spears has no hair. She is probably mad, like Telly Savalas and Sinead O'Connor. * Gordon Brown sells gold and everyone is furious about it now. * World set top end on April 13 2036. Paris Hilton will be 55 then, but still acting like she's 19. * Man gives his dog a life jacket, but not his wife, when his boat sinks. * Hugh Grant single again. Whoo! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 14 February.MP3 Hello. The news is depressing today, but lets ignore the sad stuff. Here are some good highights: * Zoe Slater is the bionic woman. Cool! * Gary Barlow doesn't allow his tots to watch the Brits - quite right to, they are far too young. Well done GB. * Man called Muff is a perv. Ha ha. * Class-act Kerry Katona is getting married this evening. Have a lovely time and enjoy the spread at the reception, which is all from Iceland. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 13 February.MP3 Hello. Happy Robbie Williams Birthday / Anniversary of the bombing of Dresden / Anniversary of the Take That split day. Here is the news: * Robbie celebrates his birthday by going into rehab * Robert Kilroy-Silk accuses M&S of having a crazy hall of mirrors in their dressing rooms to deceive the ladies. * Houses are too expensive * "Yes I did kill someone" say some murderers. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 12 February.MP3 Hello here is the standing-up news: * David Cameron smoked da reefer, but no-one cares * Helen Mirran wins more awards for being the Queen. Poor Jeanette Charles, she never got this sort of recognition. * Valentines day is a big old scam. * Robots do therapy. Like in Bladerunner when the tortoise is upside down. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 7 February.MP3 Hello. Newstime: * Tarrants get a quickie divorce. * Kirsty Alley take a role in the US remake of the Vicar of Dibley as an excuse to put all that weight back on. * Watch out cancer's about. And AIDS and Ebola and Bird Flu. And Bacteria on your arms. * War is stupid and all men are stupid. * Thatcher statue to be erected before she dies. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 6 February.MP3 Hello. Here is Tues on Newsday. * Hugh Grant has aged better than Tony Blair. * Wallace and Gromit mount daring rescue plan on doomed Bernard Matthews turkeys. * Internet Paedos get put away for using the internet to make paedo plans. * Kate Moss looks good without make-up, Liz Jones is eternal hag. * Cat killed in washing machine, but at least it died a clean death. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 5 February.MP3 Hello. It's February - the hardest month of the year to pronounce. Here is the news: * Bird Flu strikes turkeys! * Kylie in love split! * Tony Blair has got older since he started being PM. * Queen snubs Queen. * Asda stocks size zero clothes, as if any of thir turkey twizzler guzzling customers can fit in them. * Lots of teenagers killing each other. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 31 January.MP3 Hello. Here is the news: * Lord Levy arrested for tinkering with emails. * Fergie (the ginger, English one) says leave S Club 7's Jo O'Meera alone, for some reason. * Seahorses are all philandering gaybos * If you are Declan Donnelly, please marry Zena. She like the look of your gazebo. * Sienna Miller goes out in her pants - what was she thinking? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 30 January.MP3 News. We've had a few, but then again, to few to mention. * Hobbits living in caves in Indonesia - get one for a pet. * Harry Potter is all grown-up with a chiselled jaw-line and a cheeky treasure trail. * MRSA is all around. * Boy killed by granny's stanna. * Floppy discs are stiffed. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 29 January.MP3 What is the news, you wonder. This is what it is: * House prices go up by £1000 a day. £1million a day if you are Britney Spears. * Red ants, red ants, red ants, red ants, read aaaaaaaants. * Everyone in the UK is getting free lipsuction so John Reid can build prisons out of fat. * Schools should go back to basics. * Shilpa wins Big Brother. * Duck comed back from the dead. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 24 January.MP3 Hello - here is the news: * No room in the prisons, so it's a good time to commit a petty crime. * No one likes the sound of a good spew. * Dolphin dies because of all the looters taking sandals and car parts off that boat * Cameron Diaz gets a new fella quick-smart. Well she would, she is exactly Cameron Diaz. * Nature finds another way. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 23 January.MP3 Here is the news: *Tiny dog on canine death row for nipping a neighbour *Posh people are rascist too *Being grumpy kills you *Give someone an STD and you will get a trip to chokey, you filthy shagger. *Steve Irwin still dead Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 22 January.MP3 Here is the news * England is a country full of pigs * Gay lumberjacks wanted * The wise man built his house upon the rocks * Beyonce looks nice Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 17 January.MP3 Here is the news: * Helen Mirren wins golden globes for playing queens - one trick pony if you ask us. * Big Brother isn't very racist but everyone goes nuts about it anyway, and no-one admits they actually watch it. * All women carry balaclavas around in their handbags * Super woman earns a million pounds a year and has 8 kids. She has a nanny though, so not that clever. * Naomi Campbell goes on anger management course and pulls all her hair out so has fake hair glues onto the top of her s ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 16 January.MP3 We're back. Here is the news: * This country is in a right state * The Scottish can all bugger right off * Face from the A Team is the best person ever * Amanda Holden isn't ready to marry yet and we don't give a damn Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 19 December.MP3 Here is the news:* Old news is new news, here about which celebrities have put on weight and horrible dresses from a two week old magazine* They've got another suffolk strangler* Booze makes you drunk and costs too much andis liked by student nurses and is in under-cooked mince pies and can be good for you if you fall over.* Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 18 December.MP3 NEWS: * Gotcha! Police arrest some fella for them murders * MP dates Cheeky Girl. It's really true. * Matt Lucas gets married to a gay man and everyone dresses up. * Leona wins X Factor. Phew. * England go back to being rubbish at cricket Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 13 December.MP3 Hello. Today's headlines: *The Ripper is on the rampage but he's not actually a ripper. And he's impotent. *Teenage school boys are like catnip to ugly older women. *Scarlett Johannson looks nice *Santa is too fat and risks heart disease. Maybe he should try pole dancing. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 12 December.MP3 Here is the news: * Guinea Pigs need love too - rescue one for Christmas * Serial Killer on the loose - look out ladies of the night, he is taking out his feelings about his mother on YOU * Princess Diana concert happening next July - quite an odd line-up. * Naomi Campbell loves pasta and punching people. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 11 December.MP3 FULL VERSION! Hello here is the news: * Boozing Bishop is tops with us * Are you too fat or too thin? Even if you are too thin you might still be a fatty. * Rabbits are for life, not just for Christmas * Cigarettes turn you into dead Russian spy. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 6 December.MP3 Hello. Here is the news: * Political correctness - has it gone mad, or is it just a pain in the arse having christmas decorations up at work? * David Cameron pleads with Sun readers to vote with him. * Britain in debt crisis AGAIN. * Jordan's got a bun in the oven, and its a good one this time. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 5 December.MP3 It's a long one today - but there is a lot of news: Courtney Love and Prince Andrew are an item - official. Mel B and Eddie Mutphy are no longer and item - official. Women love a doctor who eats organic steak in a cashmere jumper - fact. George Clooney's pig is dead - fatal. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 4 December.MP3 Hello. It's December, and it's our first mince-pie fuelled NewsPox. The news is mainly celebrity based today, but there is a little bit of politics too. I can't be bothered to go into it here. Have a listen. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 29 November.MP3 Hello. Here is the news: Mick Jagger's Dad Don's Dog's Dead and his Dad Don is dead too. Britney and Paris and Lindsay go out on the town again. What about Britney's babies? The Loch Ness Monster is most famous Scottish person. Allen Carr, anti-smoking man, dies of lung cancer. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 28 November.MP3 No NewsPox for a while, so here is a quick catch-up and today's news: People have left the jungle, Eton Road have left the X-Factor, Fludd Freeman has left this plain of existence, Russian dissident dies, Slouching is good for you, there was a tiny hurricane last night that lifted some ponies into the air briefly. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 22 November.MP3 Here is the news * Heather Mills would rather loose her other leg and both her arms than go through her break-up with Paul Macca thumbs-aloft McCartney again. We don't think she's thought it through. * Toby Antiss does poo in jungle * Lindsay Lohan wastes her youth going out with losers like Calum Best. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 21 November.MP3 Here is the news: *Poor people have to send their babies away to school as soon as they are born. *Saddam gives blowies for freedom *Toddler involved in accident NOT brave *Jackie Chan announces a new line of cosmetics *Poisoned Russian goes all orange because of all the poison Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 20 Nov TomKat Special.MP3 Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got married at the weekend IT'S A SHAM. They were already married, oh yeah and he's taken his "best friend" on honeymoon. Katie is getting a generous pot and small comb allowance. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 20 November.MP3 Here is the news: * Ian Huntley has a tellytubbies duvet and is getting plenty of beauty sleep * WE don't know what a dissident is * Travel HELL in London, it happens all the time. * Monkey looks cute. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 15 November.MP3 Here is the news: * The Queen has been busy - Bond premiere and the state opening of parliament in last 24 hours * Being Boring is the secret of living a long life * Grandad builds rollercoaster over his shed * Another man kills his children. What's wrong with Dad's these days? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 14 November.MP3 Hello to you. Here is the news: * Desert Orchid the famous horse has died. We pay equestrian tribute. * Michael Jackson is in town causing all sorts of trouble. * Jordan had pals model bras for Asda. Good work ladies. And Asda. I must I must improve my bust. * Old woman does at home and her body isn't discovered for five weeks, despite visitors leaving freah milk in the fridge. It wouldn't have happened in the day of the milkman. * Men are only good for basic domestic tasks and cock. W ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 13 November.MP3 Here is the news: * Jude and Sienna split forever * David Gest scared of his own shadow and gay, but he's still pulled in the jungle * Sharks attack the UK * Michael Jackson wears a good head of someone elses hair PLUS! It's self help book week on NewsPox - great advice here for aged spinsters. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 10 November.MP3 Happy Friday! It's a NewsPox SWEARING special. Damn right! F*cking Hell! Kate Moss is to be in Little Britian and wore a fur coat to the gym. F*cking Hell! Paedophile makes lair under 12 year old's bed. F*cking Hell! David Gest has disappeared. Good. F*cking Hell! Your leggings smell. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 9 November.MP3 9th of November 1985 It's Zena's birthday and we've been to the year 1985. Now we're off back to the future. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 9 November TEST.MP3 Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 8 November.MP3 News, views, screws and poos Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 2 November.MP3 Here is the News: * Kate Moss destroys Columbia with her nostrils. * The Queen is about to join Dicky H up in celebrity Heaven. * Big Brother is watching you, and robots will take over the world. * Policeman gets a taste for blood and can't stop shooting people. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 1 November.MP3 A pinch and a punch for the first of the month. Here is the news: * Some people on the telly have won some awards. * Madonna is going to be on Newsnight tonight to promote her new "eBaby" internet child trafficking venture. * Stones fan sues Mick for losing his voice. Mean. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 31 October.MP3 Whooooo! Spooky. It's Halloweeeeeen and here is all the blood curdling news: * Jonathan Ross makes a joke about Heather Mills' leg so the papers have stopped attacking her and started calling her "poor disabled Heather". * We're all doomed. The planet is screwed and not even Gordon Brown can save us. Let's all read Stark again. * Woman finds sheep in her garden. * Prince William loses his gun. What a brilliant leader of men. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 30 October.MP3 Another week, another load of reporting. Get all the latest on Madge's baby trafficking, the Macca divorce, Kate Moss, the late Richard Hammond and all that other rubbish that constitutes 'news' inculding: * Nutta vs Mucca * We know something that the man whose kids died of poison in Corfu doesn't. That his kids are dead. * Justin Timberlake likes to fuck Cameron Diaz in complete silence. * Knightrider regularly wets himself. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 18 October.MP3 Todays interrupted news includes: *Prisoners play scrabble for snout money. *For Cod's ske give the chippy a miss tonight. *Lady Mucca claims author of Frog Chorus abused her. *Bizarre love triangle - Pete Doherty, Kate Moss and Jack Osbourne. Apparently. *An animal does something. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 17 October.MP3 The press hound a brown baby. Monkeys do some stuff. Scientist are buffoons. That is the news. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 16 October.MP3 Here is the news: * Shortage of watch makers tocks the watch making world. * All men who like football are rubbish, and so is football. * Religion BANNED. * Chelsy Davy, the most powerful woman in the world, is thick. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 1 September.MP3 It's September!Yes August is behind us and there is a whole month of September in front of us to look forward to. And my mum might get a puppy. Hooray! Here is the real news:* Sex gives you cancer. So stop it. Or wear a condom.* Tony Blair tells everyone to"Shut and leave me alone. I'm in charge here. Not you."He then gets poor people backs up by telling them all their children will grow up to be criminals. Oh dear.* The Sun tries to work out if we have enough time to do everything by inven ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 11 October.MP3 Wednesday's news: * Cameron teases Blair at PMQs. * Angelina Jolie blacks up. Offensive? * Selfish man shags around in the name of investigative journalism. * We're moving to Alston. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 10 October.MP3 World War III special: tiny man goes nuclear to compensate for his size. We give you the low-down on Kim Jong-Il. Oh and celebrities have done some stuff. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 9 October.MP3 Mondays news: *Buy the Mirror if you don't want to be ripped off by rogue traders or cowboys. *Turn the internet and your computer off at night if you don't want to be hacked into by hackers. *Be blonde and pointless if you want to make Tatlers list of powerful blondes. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 4 October.MP3 * Has the BBC Banned Fiona Bruce From Wearing a Cross? No * Has Peaches Geldof Been Shoplifting? No * Has Prince William been to Bingo in Reading? Yes * Has Prince Charles' security been breached by a dangerous maverick at the Premier of schoolboy porn film The History Boys? No. It was just a rich posh bloke who shook Charlie's hand and then went home. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website News Pox - 3rd October 2006 There is some news but to be honest not a lot of news. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 2 October.MP3 It's October - we are now into our 6th month of exciting news reportage: * David Cameron wows the Tory Party Conference. * George Michaels gets stoned again. * Elvis and Marilyn fucked in 1956. * James Blunt is top of the funerals pops. * We need a new Pope. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 29 September.MP3 News: *Hammond dies *Prezza shows off *Edmonds speeds *Woman Fears vegetables *Kangaroo fights clown Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 28 September.MP3 The news in Brief: * Judge's cleaner gets banged up for blackmailing him about all the sex videos he made. He looks like a randy old goat. * Wife Swap participants start wanting full marital rights. I mean sex. * The Mona Lisa had a baby. * Clinton flirts with Blair. * Geldof gets blonde bob and flirts with Brown. * Happy Birthday X-rays! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 27 September.MP3 * Wahay! Everyone loves Tony Blair again, especially Cherie who gave him a right good seeing to last night after his speech. * Rottweilers have a got a taste for children - they can't get enough of them. * A pervert dresses up as a granny to rub himself against young girls, you know just like old ladies do. * Smash and Spam and Cinzano make a comeback - sounds like a lovely night in to me. * Man pulls truck along with his eyelids. I don't know why. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 26 September.MP3 It's a long one today: The Housemartins have a new album out, apparently Richard Hammond says "Don't axe Top Gear, they've just replaced me on Brainiac and I'm going to be out of work" One elephant plays football and another elephant goes on the pill. Bread to be sold by the slice, because of the bloody EU. Gordon Brown pulls a variety of faces. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 22 September.MP3 It's Friday! It's raining! I'm wearing boots! Here is the news: * Richard 'Hamster' Hammond drives too fast and has a crash. He is in hospital and it the UK's Steve Urwin. * Lorraine Kelly gets abusive text by mistake. We've all been there. * The kids are drinking cocaine * The kids are drinking cooking oil. * Charlotte church invites new cocktail called Cheeky Lardblo which is a refreshing blend of ice, lemon, cocaine and cooking oil. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 20 September.MP3 Wednesday 20th September. Here is the news: * British war crime! Coup in Thailand! Riots in Hungary! Thats all the grumpy world news. * Panda bites man * Russell Brand goes gay for Will Ferrell * Big Brother Grace gets a broken face, Alex and Mel fall out over a dog * Lesbian Karate teacher uses corny lines on 15 year old * WABS are the new WAGS * Something falls off the Shuttle. Bah, it probably wasn't important anyway. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 18 September.MP3 Solo NewsPox. Argh. * The Pope is in BIG trouble. * Man dresses as tramp to attract underage girls * Cherie Blair is a happy slapper * A giant pumpkin and a tiny ted * All music is now rubbish. Official. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 15 September.MP3 Zena is in the airport and has phoned in her contribution. News: * It's the old story - Bionic Man meets Bionic Women and give each other bionic high five with their bionic arms. * The morning after pill hasn't stop the rise in popularity of the abortion. Not sure why. It's cheaper. * Jesus is in beer * Tory's have new broccoli based logo, and some new affair has come to light. * Hazel Blears is going to bitch-slap Claire Short. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 14 September.MP3 We are the news: * Immigrant goes on AIDS ramapage in caravan park * Chris Langham likes young girls a bit too much * Whitney dumps Bobby Brown for Osama Bin Laden * Sailors bum each other in erotic night of shipboard passion * Madonna's gig in Russia was too expensive and filled with police. * Zena backing Jimmy Tarbuck to win new series of Strictly Come Dancing, Michelle's money is on Emma Bunton. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 13 September.MP3 Today's NewsPox is a quickie, which is sometimes all you need. * David hasslehoff says "Lady Di wanted a piece of my action, so did Elton John, but I am not a gay" * Tony Blair dies on his arse doing an open-spot at the TUC conference. * Britney Spears has another baby - it's a boy and she wanted a girl, so she'll probably kill it * iPod have created an MP3 player the size of a grain of rice. And it has your name on it. * Boys take Steriods to impress girls. Yeah, because tiny willies and d ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 12 September.MP3 Tuesdays News: Ant and Dec are insured in-case one of them dies. Princess Diana had a mirror. So did Paul Burrell - he used it to look up her skirt. Prince Harry has itchy balls. You are more likely to get raped by a family friend than Trevor Lock. Banksy is cool. Double Jeopardy law overturn and man gets put in prison for a muder he did about 20 years ago. Serves him right. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 11 September.MP3 It's 5 years since it was last September the 11th. The world reflects. Brad Pitt does a funny smile Girls are very violent, but will probably turn out rich, which is good because they spend a fortune on their hair. A man is killed by a hornet. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 31 August.MP3 The first NewsPox in a long while, and it's not got any better. Today our news was culled from the Star and the Sun, so it's mostly about sex and celebrities. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 10 August.MP3 * It's all kicking off in the UK's airports - hand luggage has been banned and flights are all delayed due to naughty terrorists trying to get us again. * A very old man makes a baby and does lots of shagging. He puts it down to the Goat milk. * Is Big Brother a fix? Oh I don't know. * Fat man's beer belly saves him from being speared by a broken ladder. * Vodaphone make a crop circle. * Girl and her mum get in trouble with the Greek cops because the girl got raped in the toilets of a bar. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 9 August.MP3 Come on and listen to the news: * Lady is pregnant, told baby is dead and has it scraped out, then told not only is there still a baby in her but that it is also alive. * Panda babies are very little, but it still takes ages for them to get squeezed out. * Conservatives get a new logo - a spunking monkey in a tie. * Prezza told to just sity tight and not touch anything while he's in charge. * Mucca V Macca rumbles on. She's decided she does need 200 million pounds after all - the price of f ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 8 August.MP3 Tuesdays news in Scotland and the world: Lady Mucca Macca Mills gets in trouble with the pigs for trying to break into Paul's house. Fidel Castro is poorly and is going to let someone else have a go at running Cuba. Paul O'Grady become a Keane lyric Customer "help" lines are all rubbish - like that is news. Steve MacDonald, 31, from Coronation Street, Weatherfield didn't do a burp, but did do drink driving. Mel Smith isn't allowed to smoke a cigar as part of his Winston Churchill tribute ac ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 6 August.MP3 Saturdays news discussed on Sunday, downloadable on Monday. Did we mention we were very busy at the moment? * Police in a tiny Island of Australia are rubbish - it's like the Wicker Man, although no-one got burnt and they got their guy in the end. * Wankathon happened * Russell Brand spunks on a fire * Tommy Sheridan gets away with it, the hairy, slippery swinger. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 4 August.MP3 Sorry we've been so quiet. There is news happening - do not fear - the world is still turning, celebrities are still being weird, people are still dying in usual ways, animals are still being amusing. We've just been busy with the Edinburgh Festival. But today we managed a podcast and here is what we talked about. * Girl died on holiday in a freak fire-breathing incident * Man died on holiday in a freak canal-boat incident. * Katie Holmes is lonely as her and Suri have been locked in a cage ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 31 July.MP3 The news today: Nikki from Big Brother shows off her bum and goes shopping. Start the kiddies off boozing when they are tots with watered down wine and alco-pops. Tigers and Lions inter-breed. Why not humans and horses? A long discussion follows. Dog gets bus to pub then gets barred from pub but not bus. Pamela Anderson wed in a bikini. Cliff Richard is the shadowy Don of British politics watching over things while Prezza fritters away our taxes on Fritters and other food. Fat bugger. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 27 July.MP3 We recorded this on Thursday at a Service Station off the A1. Had no internet access since, but we'll be back on track from Monday 31st! Promise. Haven't got a clue what the news was on Thursday. Listen for a glimpse into the recent past. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 26 July.MP3 Today we have recorded something - honest. Sorry we've been so rubbish for the past couple of days, it's quite busy and stressful here. This is the news: War in the Middle East. Wayne Rooney recreates Southfork. Bi-sexual coprophiliac lib dem Mark Oaten quites politics. Fuck off fatties, says Blair. Man passes out on train track. Dogs get beaten. Watch our for hailstones the size of golf balls. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 25 July.MP3 Tuesday news is hot to trot: David Beckham struts around in tiny pants. Impressively. Prescott's cowboyhat is revealed to be white - like Boss Hogg's. Monopoly money goes chip and pin. One old ladies goes all Crocodile Dundee and another goes to the pub to play skittles. Robbie's new single sounds like Roland Rat. Good news for rat fans. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 24 July.MP3 Monday's news - it's late and it's quick. We're busy people you know. David Kelly - ws it murder? Diana - was it murder? Saddam's lawyers - was it murder? Man bites another man's ear. Gay. Kate Lawler models undies. Inflatable sculpture takes off and kills two. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 21 July.MP3 Friday is the last day of the week and here is the news from that day: Someone has invented a £30 ice cream cone with 10 scoops in it. I reckon it's all going to melt before you can get your shops around it. Spongebob the monkey went on an adventure but is now home at Chssington World of Adventure. Boy hangs himself with karate belt because he didn't want to go to karate. Women to be cryogenically frozen on channel 4. Big Brother gays have a camp bitch-fest. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 20 July.MP3 Thursday's news: It was VERY HOT yesterday. Being poor means you are less likely to get lukemia, but you will age more quickly. Being posh means you might learn to pilot and plane and then crash. Super-boyband being created. Blair will be about for another year - he's clamping down on soft prison sentences and the same time as people are putting bets at odds of 10/1 on his being arrested. Whoooo! Cat gets stuck in tree. Chickens get a good roasting. Cruise liner goes all wonky. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 19 July.MP3 It's Summer, It's the UK. Everyone is going on about how hot it is. Including us. here is the news: It's hot. In loads of places all around the UK. Girls in bikinis cool of by getting in some water. Animals are sprayed with water or given ice lollies. Half of your friends are alcoholics. Labour and Conservative parties are both in debt. They can't resist buying handbags on credit cards. Oprah Winfry says "I'm not gay" and other gay-related news. Big public wank scheduled for August. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 18 July.MP3 Yo Blair! Here is the news: Tony Blair and George W Bush recorded having a jolly good gossip at the G8 Summit. Bush said "shit" and Blair referred to some other world leader as "honey". It's hot, you wouldn't be allowed to transport cows on London Transport it's so hot on the tubes and buses. Shuttle full of handsome astronauts lands safely. All women are in debt after buying too many handbags. Man gets artificial stiffy every time his neighbours open their garage doors. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 17 July.MP3 The latest breaking news from Monday: Tony Blair says he's done nothing wrong. Middle East is buggered, everyone is going bombing mad. Tara Palmer Tomkinson gets a new nose. Naomi Campbell goes mental on a yacht. Kate Moss earns loads. Wayne Rooney wastes loads of money running hairdryers all ngiht to lull him to sleep - this will one day result in a terrible fire which will burn him and all his money. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 14 July.MP3 It's Friday! Here is todays news which we've rounded up in the podcast: Diana death throes pictures published in Italy. Tony Blair's still in trouble, and there is a potential contender to Gordon Brown's leadership. A dog ran over a woman in a police van. Loads of kids are autistic. It's all kicking off in the middle-east - stock up on petrol and cans of beans. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 12 July2.MP3 A camera man says he shagged Princess Diana for 2 and a half minutes in 1986 and devotes five pages to the affair in his 386 page book / Leonardo Di Vinci's plane works / Baby born and immediately falls down the toilet / David Cameron is going to burn out / Tony Blair is hppy with Algerians / 16 days until Prezza runs the country / another Home Office spat / Girl mauled by tiger, which serves her right / astronauts mend everything with duct tape, like we do at the Etcetera Theatre Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 11 July.MP3 Tuesday's main news is that Wendy Richards (aka Pauline) is leaving Eastenders. Other news includes: French football player understands slurs on his mother in Italian - well done on that. Scottish MP wears nipple clamps whilst eating popcorn. Prezza can't wait for Blair to go on holiday, and Brown to got on paternity leave, so he can be in charge and make us all dress up as cowboys. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 10 July MONDAY! Here is the news: Prezza dresses up as cowboy, Cameron hugs a hoodie, home-made extension falls down when it rains, Priest gets off Camden roof, James blunt might be leaving the country - keep your fingers crossed, Panda baby born, woman has twenty kids off and then leaves them for childless man. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website pox7July.MP3 I've rewritten the news, in a 1984 style, about 8 times today, due to issues with our web host. I can be bothered to write the same stuff again. So you get this instead. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox - 6th July Zena and Michelle. Where would the world be without them? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NewsPox 13 July.MP3 15 days until Prezza's in power. Tony Blair might get arrested. Men are rendered more pointless than ever, apart from making them into cyborgs. Jellyfish go wild. David Gest's bodyguard claims that Gest is hugely heterosexual, not a gay freaky-faced weirdo.Funeral Pyre happens. Superman is handsome. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox - 5th July Some of the news we discussed today includes: Only £75 to go to Hong Kong.Let's fly! David Walliams isn't gay - he swam the channel covered in spunkand sang Barbra Streisand songs to keep his spirits up.Prezza is in trouble again for shagging AND gambling. North Korea tests amissile. Kiera Knightly not anorexic. Man eats loads of hotdogs. Ben's can'tdrive. Woman wants refund on crap men. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website News Pox - 4th July We chew up all the news and the newspapers and then sick all the best bits back up for you to enjoy.It's American independence day. Maybe some aliens will come and get us, like that film. Today's news-based podcast covers the following news: It's hot. Pirates of the Caribbean premiered last night. Jordan can't be bothered to have sex with Peter Andre so is taking a leaf out of Angelina's book and getting herself a foreign baby. Paedophiles make dinner in prisons and are being unfairly provo ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Newspox - 3rd July There isn't a lot of news in today's papers - mostly football. So we talk a little bit about football and also about the shagging man, the asteriod that nearly killed us all, but didn't, the heat, nasty BB Australia, nasty BB dress UK, Uma Thurman is great, kids get finger printed at the library, jobless son of a binman spawns 7 chavvy kids. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website