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Clinton
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Buying Bread

I'm not saying that people who work at giant supermarkets are unfriendly, but that's not a conversation I've ever had in one of those stores that's bigger than a township

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Toilet

We bought the new toilet during our latest remodeling project based on the observation that even though it, too, was a water saving model, it could flush a Buick.

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Electing a President

I just don't care how rich Senator McCain's wife is. I don't care where Senator Obama went to church and I don't care about Senator Clinton's hair style or jewelry

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Cheekbones

It’s a little like having the ability to grow hair in my ears. Sure, I probably should be grateful for any hair growth, but the gratitude is a little tempered

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Drinking your Politics

It seems there's this expensive booze that's in very short supply. It's made, a few bottles at a time, in a distillery way back in the Scottish Highlands – by goats wearing kilts is my understanding

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Wayne Philosophy

Most men aren't willing. Most women, too, when you get right down to it

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Cold

As I went in the door, I interrupted the treasurer's report to say, “I move that we sell the church and use the money to relocate the congregation to Jamaica .”

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Patience

What we need are impatient dreamers, dreamers willing to work to make the dreams come true

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People Zoo

It's only when I see a whole herd of them that a few common qualities pop out

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Snowstorm

You take a hog house roughly the size of a football field and get enough snow piled on top to start making the rafters creak, it's gonna be a long day

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Mistakes

If you go to some place bizarre, you'll either get a great meal or a great story

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Dog Days

A friend of mine said admiringly, "Will your dog do that?" "Are you kidding?” I said. “My kids wouldn't even do that.”

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Feeling Good

One guy doesn't believe in evolution and another guy claims he's seen a UFO. The only way this could get better would be if the group included a trapeze artist, an international mercenary and a concert violinist.

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Mostly Skim

I don't know if that made me cream or skim, but it wasn't long before I decided that the view from the bottom looking up wasn't what I wanted to see.

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I don't ask for much

Actually, if you're a chicken, being asked to produce eggs isn't the worst case scenario

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We're Not Finches

Evolution in action, baby. If you’re too dumb to take care of your environment, death for you and yours is the inevitable result

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Christmas 2007

Still, behind my grey beard and puzzled eyes, Scrooge is always lurking, along with the concerns about what Christmas is really supposed to be about.

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Cheap Grace

We're just all about cheap grace here. In our churches, in our politics and in our society

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Manly Scent

I'd go to work with my hands smelling like Chanel Number 5. It didn't bother the hogs, but the guys I worked with thought it was pretty funny

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Credit Cards

That's not something you want to hear, some clerk saying, “Yeah, you're over the limit. You can have the coffee, but I'll have to take back the scone.”

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Taking Charge

sure, you bet, I want the ginger ale, the trail mix, five or six movies, a five gallon pail of mint chocolate chip ice cream and maybe a chorus line of dancing hamsters and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing a medley of Beatles songs

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Miracle of the Hunt

I’ve hunted with guys who had spent thousands of dollars to train their highly specialized, purebred dogs. We’ve spent zero time and money training Cricket and believe me, it shows

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Morning News

I don't fret about the sexual orientation of real people – I have to admit I'm completely indifferent to the gender issues of fictional wizards

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Sleeping

As soon as my neck gives way and my head snaps backward and bounces off the back of the pew, I wake up

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Good Duck

The only harm I've managed to cause the ducks was the sore stomach muscles they got from laughing at me

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I believe in poetry

The conversation that night occasionally left me in the dust, especially when they talked about translations of Persian poetry or opera, but then it would swerve back to more familiar territory, like flaming rats and politics

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New Shotgun

There's an old saying “One shot - one duck, two shots - maybe one duck, three shots - no duck

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Eggs

A buddy recommended that I take a hatchet out to the coop and hang it on the wall. Nothing really threatening, just a little reminder that there are alternative chicken-based proteins other than eggs

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of Mice and 'Manda...

I wasn't thrilled with the idea of an obituary titled “Farmer crashes pickup while screaming like a wounded possum,”

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Going to the Fair

But really, how many traveling carnival workers are going to read this column AND be motivated enough to find where I live and come over and beat me up?

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Taking Responsibility

It seems like the more powerful a person becomes, the less responsible they need to be

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Bats in the Belfry

There were people in the house who thought this was not a viable permanent solution. I chose not to listen to those people and went back to bed

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Staying Home

No feeding, milking, butchering, cooking…none of that stuff. Just grabbed ‘em and put them in my mouth. Instant food, no work

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Bridge Collapse

And that's where the anger comes in. For that bridge to collapse, someone didn't take their job seriously

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Tough Week for a Little Dog

Did you see the article in the paper this week about the Chihuahua that leapt between a little kid and a striking rattlesnake? I'll give you a hint – that dog's name wasn't Cricket

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Ow

I'm hoping my high school shop teacher doesn't read the paper this week, ‘cause he'll be mad at me for whatever I did

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Train Depot

Like many small town doctors, he was always short of sleep and that's where the conflict with the railroad crews entered

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Fourth of July 2007

Most of the time you need to split your attention between the horizon that is your goal and the rocks that are right in front of you

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This Really Gonna Hurt

As he's swinging toward the tree, heading for supersonic speed, he turns to the camera and says, “This really gonna hurt.”

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Food for the Stomach

Bread, meat, chocolate, and alcohol – those are the four major food groups. There isn’t really anything else out there to eat

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Small Town

Truthfully, no one does Memorial Day like a small town.

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Prayer

No need to go nuts with this – the prayer I learned doesn't go any further than daily bread.

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Three Dogs

I think trying to fix someone else's botched, indifferent work is perhaps the most frustrating job in the world

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Thunder

I'm telling you, there's nothing like nearby thunder at 2:00 on a Sunday morning to put you in a mood for repentance

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Mailbox

It could be worse, of course. It could be me that's getting beat up

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Cricket at War

In a lifetime of bad judgment and poor choices, this one seemed to top the list

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Party

It was pretty interesting to watch an entire group of people totally united in their quest for deception - and all without the advantage of natural talent or training

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Sleep

Last week I had two meetings out of town, which meant I took a half hour nap in the parking lot of a coffee shop the first day and on the second day I chose the back row at a Home Depot

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Registering

I'm simply not convinced that any store that stocks wicker and/or candles is really tapping into Guy Central

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Phones

When my phone rings, I grab my chest with both hands, moan, “It's a big one, call 911”

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Covering Up

Every now and then there's a moment and if you don't seize the moment, you got nothin' but trouble

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Pig Farmer

If I’d had a ..45 strapped to my waist back when I raised hogs, there were many times when there would have been dead hogs in every direction

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Key Largo

When tables get turned I find out that certain places in Fargo have a unique way of taking care of mistakes

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Heart

Sausage started it all and it ended up with needles and at the end, an insight

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When Worlds Collide

When Trusting Country People Collide with Untrusting City Folks the Sparks can Fly!

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Mall of America

Don't you just hate the place? I do and I'll tell you why!

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Happy New Year

New skin, New Basement, New Year, It's just got to be a better year

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Breakfast

Cerial or Crumpets for Breakfast. Brent spins a tale about one heck of a breakfast experiance!

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Farmer Heart

What does it take to farm? There are rewards if you look for them.

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Christmas Eve

Brent reflects on what Christmas means and why we should be grateful

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No Hotels

How far would you go for a nice hot shower?

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Home Again

Home is where you hang your hat and I've hung mine in some odd places

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Paraffin Nose

Experimenting on your relatives can be, well, a new sensation.

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Sense of Urgency

It takes a sense of urgency to get things done. As we go to vote we get to remind the politicians of this.

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Pheasant Hunting

Brents takes some time out for hunting

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Fire Talk

Shotguns, Ducks, and an old sportings goods store. Ahh the memories

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Dirty Joyce

We'd called her “dirty Joyce,” “rotten Joyce,” “twisted Joyce” and “saggy Joyce. You decide which one fits”

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Turtle without a Shell

Brent is still up in the air as he compares how he's living now to his ancestors

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Guys

You can take Brent out of the country work but you can't take it out of Brent-It's a guy thing

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Going Up

This week Brent talks about going up in the world - literally.

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Doctors

I’LL write the doctor a prescription-CALL

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Apartments

This week, Brent talks about apartments in the cities in the “will kill 4 crack” neighborhood

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Road Trip

You never know where you'll end up at

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Clerks

Clerking jobs are ruining the youth of America

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Not a Farmer

Brent talks about life changes

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Crazy Talk

Anytime you talk Oil you HAVE to be crazy

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Fertilizer

Everything you wanted to know about Lawns

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Chump

Exploding Mosquitos and Politicians

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Motivational

Letting go, Gun racks, and Sermons

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Shoes

Brent and his wife go shoe shopping for Brent!

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Macho Mountain

Macho, Medicine and Aging

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My cat died

He went hard, hanging on to the skin of this earth

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A man ain’t nothin’ but a man

Brent dives into philosophy-550 million references worth

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Casey at the bat

What's with Casey at the bat or am I missing something?

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Hot!

Hot weather and the search for food

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Traveling Blind

Brent talks about trials traveling in Norway

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Filters

Brent talks about how the world is viewed

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Crackpots

This week, Brent explains a way to get rid of bad TV and bad politicians

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It's All Relative

Brent talks about life and relatives in Norway

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I Love This Place

Brent compares country living to the city

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