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cydniey - from the vicious to the rotten
another to give you the impression that i'm bad with people. it is quite possible that i am. or i just meet crazy people and friendships come to a bad end because of that. only one has enraged me enough to write a volume about it. enjoy.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website eventually and chanel 66this time i have two pieces for you since they are short. "eventually" is the first and "chanel 66" is the second.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - bitch puh-leasethis is about/to an exgirlfriend. i'm so empowered by anger. it's a good reading, though.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - bishopthis is about a bad man.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - diagnosisthis piece is about my head and the games it plays with itself.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - bad tvinspired by everyone's favorite medium. television.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - another exchangepublished as:if you knew, what would it be to you?It’s almost too 2D for me, my man . . .
This thing we have instead of conversation
I can sense but can't quite hold that hint
To a question backed by vague fear . . .
But I've got a great grip on the mind-closing
Accusation of weary disappointment.
When do you know that you're going the wrong way
When you've got tunnel vision?
I am not what you thought.
Your assumptions were dead wrong.
You could make a beautiful mistake
You could ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - angryAngrySomeone told me I sounded angry
Like they were admiring my taste in drapes.
Kind of in awe of how I got those colors to work.
Look buster, here's the thing:
The colors don’t work.
They are made up of memories I
Tend to regard as bad movies
That never happened to me.
You see, I am Cleopatra.
And the only thing you should
Be admiring from that anonymous desk
Is that I haven't taken a 12 gauge to
Mark Anthony and blamed it all
On something Caesar did.
Queen of denial.
Yeah, I'm angry. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - selfishselfishI don't want to hear about how I’m not 'out' enoughJust because I never got beaten up for itI don't want to hear about how I’m a late bloomerJust because it took me 18 years to get the hairy naked men off me long enough to think about what I wanted from sexI don't want to hear about how I am cold and unaffectionateFor the 47th time from someone who I view as entirelytoo needy and clingyI don't want to defend my 'alternative lifestyle"Not to my lover, that's what I do with the bre ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - those daysThose DaysI remember that dayLike it was 1,000 years ago.Where I sat on the couchJust being stubborn, headstrong.You were so quiet I thoughtYou'd just hide in the closet, thenBAM . . .Right in the face.I never saw it coming.It was so unlike you,I usually saw it coming.And the cop was so embarrassedWhen he called me to the station.Face so red as he stuttered, stammered.He had to ask, he told me,Just for the recordCould I please just tell himWHYYour back was all scratchedAnd welted and fresh. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - apropos of nothingApropos of nothing"You have a lot of pictures of yourself"Ya, well, it’s an obsession"Do you ever wonder how many vacation photos you end up on?"No, though it would explain random bad mojo in my life"How does it feel to be the most photographed person in the immediate area?"Pretty fucking emptyChip said last night at the bar that one person telling us we're great is nice, but what we need (us performers) is 5,000 of themAnd last night I agreedAnd mostly I still do . . .Except sometimes wh ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website welcomea welcome to the poscast and brief explanation of why it exsists.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - easier by farEasier By Far
I've tried to hold you
Over all the miles between us.
I've stretched my love as far as
I think it can go,
Only to reach just
A little bit more.
But I've lost my grip on you,
And you've slipped of the
Edge of sanity and plunged
Into a sea of love.
I've tried to understand it
Through the bits and pieces
You throw me, so
Just in case you fall,
This time I'll know how
To pick you back up.
And though it's gotten a
Little bit crazy,
It's hard to believe you
Don't have the time.
I a ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - who is molly?Who is molly?
we met ten years ago.
a small college that would have preferred we hadn't.
we chased away our roommates.
through little fault of our own.
we threw parties.
we spun myths.
her family took me in when mine let me down.
she waited patiently while I punished myself.
for years she watched and didn't judge.
or nag
or question, unless someone was bleeding.
we never fought.
she borrowed my clothes.
and let me borrow hers, even though I was fat.
she traveled in similar circles years af ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - when i get to my happy placeWhen I Get To My Happy Place
Salt air in my lungs,
Your skin on my neck,
Screech of lazy birds . . .
Give me that warm feeling.
My pulse slows to
A rate I can live with sleep with deal with.
My teeth are dry from
Smiling so hard and
I break free from my clothes
And I'm running down
The smooth wood planks
Then I sink in hot sand,
My toes disappear and
I am still running.
Salt mist on my lips
And in my eyes and
The water is so cold
My soul shrivels up.
My pulse is still slowed
To a rate ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website rage rover rantsong by c0ntaX of phrenetic.org, lyrics and spoken performance by cydniey
lyrics:
rage rover rant
is fear the quiet gurl in the back row who always wears black?
is fear the perky ladder climber with no panties and a loose tongue?
is fear the idea that they are better than you?
it's a spin on a ride you didn't ask to take when you packed up the truck and went back where you belonged and who wasn't waiting there for you and what things didn't you find and when is this going to run out ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - openanother spoken piece from "Stop poking me lady"
Open
Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much you open yourself to people. . .
well it does matter, it matters to you . . . you're the only one who really knows how much effort it takes to extend your words as if a physical piece of yourself . . . only you are in tune with the pain when the words are cut off . . . only you see the wordblood . . . and sometimes there is so much blood you think "my goddess, they have got to be able to see th ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website the choicesit is so much easier to see the abuse from a distance, once it's over and you are safe again
The Choices
I anticipated death, but instead took freedom.
I compromised so long . . . and don't much,
Anymore.
You thought I wasn't good enough you thought
You were better.
Better than what?
Better than rape, maybe.
I made that choice thinking
It was the last.
Something stopped me from
Rolling over dead.
Maybe a magic dragon hovered
Right above my head.
Just long enough for me
To make the next ch ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - in that dreamIn that dream I stayed and watched
In that dream it all made sense
Now it’s gone and the sun is bright
Now it’s gone
And I don’t get it
Anymore
You are circling around yourself
Dancing in the bishops game
Nothing that escapes can be traced
There is no end or clear begin
In the dream I understood
In the dream I nodded my head
Now its’ gone and your mask if melting
Now it’s gone
And I don’t know why
It mattered
Tearing at yourself like this
Reaching out your dirt filled claws
Tak ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - excuse me mythjust a poem i wrote and included in my book, "stop poking me lady", available at lulu.com. my homepage is fabulousdisaster.com.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - the bottomthis short piece is one of my favorites. it is from my book "stop poking me lady", available at lulu.com. my website is fabulousdisaster.com.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - cleverwritten after a drunken night at the bar about a girl with too many martinis in her. this piece is taken from my book "stop poking me lady", available at lulu.comListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - distractionthis piece comes from observations other people have made about me. it is from the book "stop poking me lady", available at lulu.com. my homepage is FabulousDisaster.com.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - dreams are not dreamsthis longer piece was written one sleepless and paranoid night in my paper journal. i hope it plays better than it transcribed. this piece if from the book "stop poking me lady", available at lulu.com. my homepage is FabulousDisaster.com.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - church in new orleanswritten while at mardi gras, when strange circumstances landed me in a non-denominational church and i had an epiphany during the sermon. i took the communion or sacrament in unstoppable tears of joy. i jotted this poem in an alley during mardi gras in the french quarter.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website cydniey - after allone of the very few love poems i've ever written. presented mainly to offer range of styles. this piece is about my life partner, doc. when he and i first met i giggled all the time. and wrote silly love poetry.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
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