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Lady Raptastic Shitcast: Alive Until Suicide
10-6-08: I woke up early after vomiting into the garbage can because I went out last night to celebrate my friend Grizelda's birthday. If you a 40 year old woman, you are dead. I don't know how I will kill myself when I am 40. I probably won't have love in my life by then. I will die alone: a lonely black woman. It's like a cherry-housed maggot shitting all over your sundae, melting it.
A lot of people losing money, dogs, their minds. I wil survive... until I am 40.
My spaghetti story w ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic Shitcast: Lady Legs Bakery10-6-08: Dying old people resemble my podcast. I opened a bakery with a $200,00 loan from the Holy Trinity Church of Christ First Baptist Bank. If you default, they kill you, but you go to heaven, so it's all good. The name of the bakery is "Lady Legs Bakery." Tiki helps me. We do not bake, we unwrap Little Debbie and charge three times the price. I hate when friends do this at parties, but all is forgiven when I see the open bar.
Is Lady Raptastic no longer funny/relevant? Have you moved ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic Shitcast: Burn PrideI got nose AIDS. Tissues is not recyclable: it takes 80 years to turn into plastic. I am going to kill myself. I am just kidding. I am going to find the exact amount to drink to the point of almost dying.
Many people come to me with questions about the economy, and I have some words of wisdom. It's a sad day in America. The rich white man has raped America. We are now going to bear the rich white man's retarded baby: the bad economy. You gotta lay down and take it much like rape.
You ha ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic Shitcast: Hit a Child with a ChildI see all these happy people with shoes and hair, laughing and smiling. You need to take control of yo life, but every time I try, I end up at the liquor store. I set goals for myself. By the time I turn 45 I want to have four children and be able to wear shorts without people laughing.
It's so loud. Like my life. (crying ensues please. I am sorry.) Everybody got troubles. My problems is no bigger than yours, though my breasts probably are. I get hit every day by a (a) bus, (b) moped or ( ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic Shitcast: Keep You on Yo ToenailsDo not ask me to join Facebook. I am busy because of a disability in my leg. Party table in Marie's apartment. Stealing stolen mechandise negates the first stealing. You can do a lot of damage with a baseball bat. Security camera pictures aren't clear. I look like a big black blotch. And then I steal
I stole 15 stuffed giraffes in 15 paper bags and put them in one big bag and look like Santa Raptastic.
You never know what to expect with Lady Raptastic. I missed my bus. I keep you on yo t ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic Shitcast: View Distorted Purge DailyThe recording stopped recording. I openly solicit for sex. I would have sex with a gay man.
Hello truck! Do you want to run over me? When I play a game in my life, people always pull me back. It's rude.
Distorted View podcast is good please. The Daily Purge podcast is good please.
Get inside the Lady Raptastic:
-Subscribe in Itunes or with RSS-Friend the Lady at myspace.com/ladyraptastic-Leave a Voicemail: 912-CAT-LYKA-Email: ladyraptastic@gmail.comListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady RaptasticShut up and listen, ho.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady RaptasticShut up and listen, ho.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady RaptasticShut up and listen, ho.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady RaptasticShut up and listen, ho.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady RaptasticShut up and listen, ho.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 93: Green, VM: 912-CAT-LYKAEpisode 93 Show Notes (30:51)
Cletus doesn' know wheher to say "black" or "African American." Lady fell downstairs while delivering Meals on Wheels, Word of the Day: Powdered Doughnut, Far Side Segment: two tacos, News with Lady and Cheryl Merkowski: the news story is "Can Black Women Succeed on Wall Street" by Zayda Rivera, the color is green, Magic Johnson is a tall black man with AIDS, Cheryl didn't like her $15 movie so she threw her sanitary pad and underwear at the screen and ran to ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 92: AIDS, VM: 912-CAT-LYKA Episode 92 Show Notes: Word of the day: Anglo-Sexy, Far Side Segment: sheep, sickle cell anemia, if a man wears a condom he is either gay or he thinks his girl is a slut, do you want white people living at yo house?
Interview with < a href="http://www.whorehole.org">Cheryl Merkowski: she doesn't want to become Lady Raptastic, black people want to be white, she can't hear Lady's on-the-road segments which go into the trash hole anyways, Wanda Wisdom says black people get more AIDS than whi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady RaptasticShut up and listen, ho.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady RaptasticShut up and listen, ho.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady RaptasticShut up and listen, ho.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady RaptasticShut up and listen, ho.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 91: Wishes, VM: 912-CAT-LYKAEpisode 91 Show Notes: how to drink at Disney World, Wishes fireworks, I threaten suicide, Kai Eats asks a brilliant question, white girls should not wear eyeliner, pretty face but heavy body, eating disorder causes me to go to OverEaters Anonymous, Shoneys salad bar saves me one pound, baseball team inspires. Lady Raptastic:-itunes-RSS-myspace.com/ladyraptastic-Voicemail: 912-CAT-LYKA-Email: ladyraptastic@gmail.comListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 90: My Feet, VM: 912-CAT-LYKAEpisode 90 Show Notes: Intro music by Jeremimi, Word of the Day: Flism, Far Side Segment: Ladybugs procreate asexually, Letters Segment: Raphael (black and white) is glad I am back, That One Guy (no race given) asks if I go to church, Mary Muffs (no race given) asks what race Jesus was, an apology to Chocolate Cake for not wishing him a happy birthday, ,Wanda Wisdom (white) invites us all to call into her show (612-284-7299) for her 3rd anniversary program, Alex (white and might be a lesbia ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 89: Merkowski, VM: 912-CAT-LYKAShow Notes (38:00) white boy loves my sh**, White Cocoa's family, scaring kids with my foot at my day care center, black people are very not like what we see on tv, White Cocoa appearance #1, Chris makes a return of sorts, Jarrod from Lynchberg Virgina wants me to bring back the Word of the Day, Word of the Day: DUFF, White Coca appearance #2, Cheryl Merkowski interview (warning: DISGUSTING), Jeremimi from youtube sings Migrate
Lady Raptastic:
-itunes
-RSS
-myspace.com/ladyraptastic
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady RaptasticShut up and listen, ho.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 88: Landlord, VM: 912-CAT-LYKAShow Notes: (34:10) fish breasts, 14 hours of sleep, wheelchair, gotta eat this ham, dead friend, introducing Cocoa, thumb in a salad, Lady Raptastic reports from the road story: landlord ends up being someone who is not my landlord, fan phone calls, AMAZING remix by the lovely Fanny Lickendale.
Lady Raptastic:
-itunes
-RSS
-myspace.com/ladyraptastic
-Voicemail: 912-CAT-LYKA
-Email: ladyraptastic@gmail.comListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 87: Stalking, VM: 912-CAT-LYKAMoment of Racism: Spook Country and Colt 45 on TWiT and Uh-Oh Oreos, You Don't Know This Bitch: Miss Bleo, Going-To-The-Club Report: You don't really know yo friends, Audio Comments: Brandon is being stalked (and will be sending in what the stalking is like and why he thinks he is being stalked, as well as sending in five other thangs besides my show that make him happy) and Joseph will be spray painting dogs black because of Banksy's racist graffiti. Listeners is becoming my new co-host.
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 86: Have Sex, VM: 921-CAT-LYKAA Moment of Racism: Buzz Out Loud podcast, Submit yo Moment of Racism to ladyraptastic@gmail.com, Audio Comments, Brandon, needs to call back and tell me what is wrong with his life, anal likes my stuff, reaching to the lesbians, balls, you have been read, Party Report (this is long so shut up and be patient), Lady on the Road: French bakery and Indians at Wendys.
Lady Raptastic:
-itunes
-RSS
-myspace.com/ladyraptastic
-Voicemail: 912-CAT-LYKA
-Email: ladyraptastic@gmail.comListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 85: Selling Bananas, VM: 912-CAT-LYKAListener comments. Meet Ed Shepp. Ed does not act gay, he is gay. Ed is not gay, he just act gay. Black Market. Ed's green office story. Diaresick. Lycra Virgin. Latino is the new gay. Bra traders. Reporting from the bowels of her friend's car. Throat AIDS. Tiger Snickers Bar. My white friends don't like it when I talk about slavery. I use logic instead of emotion. Touching someone else's hands. Selling bananas to white people dressed as a monkey.
The Lady Raptastic Experience:
Pod ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 84: Rape bus, VM: 912-CAT-LYKAnew theme song, surgery, lost job, homeless man won't give me his cat, grocery store man and his custom car, new dress, bar embarrassment, background check in TexasListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 84: Rape bus, VM: 912-CAT-LYKAnew theme song, surgery, lost job, homeless man won't give me his cat, grocery store man and his custom car, new dress, bar embarrassment, background check in TexasListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 83: Cramps CALL: 912-CAT-LYKAEh baby shut the hell up, Chris is not here, Tiki's birthday party, drunk dial from Nico, Word of the Day: Poonami, Opening Monologue: moving vans, Questions: cramps in your lady parts, cousin and her window washer, 12 year old listener Lord Jesus, drunk call with Chris in the car, Fanny Lickendale original creation, A wonderful story about my Grandmother and Ghandi.
Lady Raptastic:
Subscribe in itunes
Subscribe with RSS
myspace.com/ladyraptastic
Voicemail: 912-CAT-LYKAListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 83: Cramps CALL: 912-CAT-LYKAEh baby shut the hell up, Chris is not here, Tiki's birthday party, drunk dial from Nico, Word of the Day: Poonami, Opening Monologue: moving vans, Questions: cramps in your lady parts, cousin and her window washer, 12 year old listener Lord Jesus, drunk call with Chris in the car, Fanny Lickendale original creation, A wonderful story about my Grandmother and Ghandi.
Lady Raptastic:
Subscribe in itunes
Subscribe with RSS
myspace.com/ladyraptastic
Voicemail: 912-CAT-LYKAListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 82 Money Raped, CALL: 912-CAT-LYKAEpisode 82: Money Raped
I am drinking too early in the morning, I believe Chris is dead, when someone is dead, they don't exist anymore except in your mind, George Washington freed the slaves, Word of the day: Fraggot; Opening Monologue: I love cutlery, Questions from WHITE-ONLY listeners about patients in hospitals, 14 year old fans, New Media Expo, early episodes of the Lady Raptastic show, racist sheriff blames death on black rap music, blastercast, wikipedia page for Lady Raptastic; I ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 82 Money Raped, CALL: 912-CAT-LYKAEpisode 82: Money Raped
I am drinking too early in the morning, I believe Chris is dead, when someone is dead, they don't exist anymore except in your mind, George Washington freed the slaves, Word of the day: Fraggot; Opening Monologue: I love cutlery, Questions from WHITE-ONLY listeners about patients in hospitals, 14 year old fans, New Media Expo, early episodes of the Lady Raptastic show, racist sheriff blames death on black rap music, blastercast, wikipedia page for Lady Raptastic; I ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptstic Cartoon Episode 2I share a quick story about my days as a jail counselor, bringing the Lord into the disgusting world of the criminal underbellies. Disgusting please.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptstic Cartoon Episode 2I share a quick story about my days as a jail counselor, bringing the Lord into the disgusting world of the criminal underbellies. Disgusting please.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 81: Chris Out Tim In- VM 912-CAT-LYKAmyspace.com/ladyraptastic
ladyraptastic.com
Voicemail: 912-CAT-LYKA
Subscribe in itunes
Subscribe with RSSListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 81: Chris Out Tim In- VM 912-CAT-LYKAmyspace.com/ladyraptastic
ladyraptastic.com
Voicemail: 912-CAT-LYKA
Subscribe in itunes
Subscribe with RSSListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 80: Vagina Arms- VOICEMAIL 912-CAT-LYKAmyspace.com/ladyraptastic
ladyraptastic.com
Voicemail: 912-CAT-LYKA
Subscribe in itunes
Subscribe with RSSListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 80: Vagina Arms- VOICEMAIL 912-CAT-LYKAmyspace.com/ladyraptastic
ladyraptastic.com
Voicemail: 912-CAT-LYKA
Subscribe in itunes
Subscribe with RSSListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic on Cheryl Merkowski!This is an episode from the Cheryl Merkowski show. Go to whorehole.org to leave your comments.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic on Cheryl Merkowski!This is an episode from the Cheryl Merkowski show. Go to whorehole.org to leave your comments.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 79: Leprechaun VM: 912-CAT-LYKAHidia Roach confessional, Chris does and does not know about crystal meth, there is a difference between a chair and a dog, Lady Raptastic has ears, black leprechaun, cut a carpet square, Chris does not do anything illegal, a frog does not want to jump, 6 feet tongue, saying diseases with your eyesballs, listener messages, a black Irish person is called a redbone, people with AIDS get ugly, downs syndrome children are always ugly, more dang listener messages, Lady is a retarded white woman ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 79: Leprechaun VM: 912-CAT-LYKAHidia Roach confessional, Chris does and does not know about crystal meth, there is a difference between a chair and a dog, Lady Raptastic has ears, black leprechaun, cut a carpet square, Chris does not do anything illegal, a frog does not want to jump, 6 feet tongue, saying diseases with your eyesballs, listener messages, a black Irish person is called a redbone, people with AIDS get ugly, downs syndrome children are always ugly, more dang listener messages, Lady is a retarded white woman ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 78: Ice Truck VM: 912-CAT-LYKAWe've been gone, Farrakahn Times, Farrakahn Community Theatre, more black people die in white hospitals, village runner, script, word of the day, I like spatulas, screen name options, boa constrictor, set-up, hydroponics, letters about laughing, cherry picking, producers, proud accomplishment, ice truck, sat on my head, lizard, laugh out-take, song: New York radio show host Ed Shepp of the Ed Shepp Radio Experiment had Lady Raptastic on as a guest May 2007 and asked her to re-record a versi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website LR 78 Ice 6-13-07We've been gone, Farrakahn Times, Farrakahn Community Theatre, more black people die in white hospitals, village runner, script, word of the day, I like spatulas, screen name options, boa constrictor, set-up, hydroponics, letters about laughing, cherry picking, producers, proud accomplishment, ice truck, sat on my head, lizard, laugh out-take, song: New York radio show host Ed Shepp of the Ed Shepp Radio Experiment had Lady Raptastic on as a guest May 2007 and asked her to re-record a versi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 77: Cheryl Merkowski VM: 912-CAT-LYKAWARNING: DISTURBING CONTENT. FOR THOSE WITH WEAK CONSTITUTIONS, AVOID THIS EPISODE. Hero sung by some Asian lady, meet Cheryl Merkowski and her program, Question #1: Describe a situation in which you were able to use persuasion to see things your way, Cheryl on the bus, Question #2: Tell me about a time when you had to go above and beyond the call of duty, Cheryl and a coat hanger, Lady Raptastic is like the Oprah show, Lady's make-up regime, Lady in a porno video, abortion babies at Sea Wo ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 77: Cheryl Merkowski VM: 912-CAT-LYKAWARNING: DISTURBING CONTENT. FOR THOSE WITH WEAK CONSTITUTIONS, AVOID THIS EPISODE. Hero sung by some Asian lady, meet Cheryl Merkowski and her program, Question #1: Describe a situation in which you were able to use persuasion to see things your way, Cheryl on the bus, Question #2: Tell me about a time when you had to go above and beyond the call of duty, Cheryl and a coat hanger, Lady Raptastic is like the Oprah show, Lady's make-up regime, Lady in a porno video, abortion babies at Sea Wo ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 76 Wanda Wisdom- VM: 912-CAT-LYKAInterview with Wanda Wisdom!
Podcast: itunes or RSSVideocast: YoutubeLovely Lady Line: 912-228-5952Website: Ladyraptastic.comVote for us: Digg and Podcast Alley and ilike and Podcast PickleListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 76 Wanda Wisdom- VM: 912-CAT-LYKAInterview with Wanda Wisdom!
Podcast: itunes or RSSVideocast: YoutubeLovely Lady Line: 912-228-5952Website: Ladyraptastic.comVote for us: Digg and Podcast Alley and ilike and Podcast PickleListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 75 Richmond Buzz- VM: 912-228-5952Lady and Chris answer questions from The Richmond Buzz. The Lady's
Grandma. Black people like old Mercedes. How Chris and Lady met.
Change in the purse. Lady has did Chris. The show will not end. Lady
on the Surreal Life. Losing weight is private. Where did the lady's
babies go? Chris' ear dipped in goal. How podcasts are made. We are
the evening news. Tassles. Everybody goes through trouble and come out
Drew Barrymore. Tipples. Target sells antiques. Storytelling. Chris
sings. Hidia ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lady Raptastic 75 Richmond Buzz- VM: 912-228-5952Lady and Chris answer questions from The Richmond Buzz. The Lady's
Grandma. Black people like old Mercedes. How Chris and Lady met.
Change in the purse. Lady has did Chris. The show will not end. Lady
on the Surreal Life. Losing weight is private. Where did the lady's
babies go? Chris' ear dipped in goal. How podcasts are made. We are
the evening news. Tassles. Everybody goes through trouble and come out
Drew Barrymore. Tipples. Target sells antiques. Storytelling. Chris
sings. Hidia ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | |