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Season's End
Welcome to the Summer Grasses podcast, the audio home of the stories of Charlie Close.
All things must come to and end, and today I want to let you know that this is the end of the Summer Grasses podcast. It has been a pleasure to write and read for you.
Even though Summer Grasses is coming to and end, it is also time for new beginnings. One season turns to another.
I am getting ready to read my work publicly, in venues big or small. I'll start in the Detroit area, and I expect ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Middling Management
I had a management reputation to live up to, which is why I chipped in comments like these.
"That task might take longer that it sounds on paper. Have you incorporated the extra risk into your plan?"
...and...
"It's critically important to get off to a strong start. Otherwise it can be awfully hard to finish strong, like I know we all want to. Right, guys?"
...and...
"Are you comfortable with the proposed deployment strategy, Wendell? We can always refactor it to give greater we ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Charlie's First Day of Work
Edith explained that the ADMIN account was not intended for printing, not ever.
Jane tried to explain how she was just trying to have one login that could do both tasks and that -
Edith stopped Jane. Hearing that her original message had not been received, Edith sought to clarify it by repeating it a little louder and pointing at the computer...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/work/charliesfirstdayofwork/1
Running time: 12:16
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Job Search
I did a little checking up on this company and sure enough it was a big and well-known financial services company. And they were in Michigan! I felt like I had finally arrived at my new home.
I was so happy that I actually printed off the email and stood over Kathy while she read it.
"Neat!" said Kathy. "It's in Farmington Hills!" I said. "Somebody not in Seattle found my resume."
And then she did understand and we were both happy together, she like Dorothy Gale, and I, like the high-s ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Journey to Michigan
The next morning at 0600, Kathy, Butch, and I had breakfast again at our favorite Billings restaurant...the Cracker Barrel. For breakfast they serve six varieties of biscuits and gravy, four varieties of pancakes and French toast, etc, three types of fruit cup, along with all the coffee you can drink.
Butch wanted an omelette. He asked the waitress what kinds were available.
She told him that they serve Cheese, Ham & Cheese, Bacon & Cheese, Sausage & Cheese, and Western.
Butch asked he ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Brief Hiatus
Welcome to the Summer Grasses podcast, the audio home of the stories of Charlie Close.
Today I want to take a minute to let you know that this podcast is on a brief hiatus while
I record new stories. I have several more to share with you, and most of them are longer
than a typical story so far, which means they take more time to record and to edit. So,
long story stort (no pun intended), I have fallen behind and need time to catch up. Please
bear with me. Thank you so much for li ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Kathy's Birthday
Kathy turned forty early this month, and she passed through it mostly unscathed.
And, having reached this mature age, she has concluded that if you want the party
done the way you like it, you should do it yourself...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/kathysbirthday/1
Running time: 1:45
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Hunter Hats
Where do you go to buy gag gifts? I didn't know, really, but time was running out and I had to hurry up and get one.
"Why don't you try Brown's?" said Kathy, meaning the local hardware store.
I didn't have any better ideas so I shrugged and said, "Okay."
"Try to get a singing bass," she said. "They probably have those there."...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/hunterhats/1
Running time: 4:26
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Storms
When I arrived home I had to fight my way out of the car. I honked the horn for Kathy to open the door so I could rush through it. I grabbed the pizza and started running. At that moment a flash of lightning struck near the trees by the house. To me it looked like any other flash.
Only it wasn't. As I walked in the door Kathy said, "Oh, great. We just lost power."
My first feeling was relief. No more weather channel...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjou ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Dunkin' the Barbarian
The other day Kathy's brother Butch came to visit. He had stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for coffee on the way to our place. I first saw the sugar-frosted Styrofoam cup as he walked in the door, holding it at arm's length while he kicked off his shoes.
"What's that?" I demanded, knowing perfectly well what it was...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/dunkinthebarbarian/1
Running time: 3:43
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Groceries
I used to imagine that when Kathy did the shopping, she moved up and down the aisles and the groceries floated off the shelves and into her cart. Perhaps she sang a trilling song to them the way Snow White did when she wanted to charm a bird onto her hand. Ah-ha, ah-ha, ah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/groceries/1
Running time: 8:21
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The Red Stack
When he turned six Morgan had a big birthday party. He was allowed to invite anyone he wanted. This was a party for a big boy. Up until now only members of his family had been invited.
"Who do you want to invite?" Mother asked.
Morgan had not thought about it until now. It was one thing to say that he could invite anyone and another thing to invite particular people...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/theredstack/1
Running time: 7:23
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Soccer
When one of the Sparks scored a goal, the keeper fished the
ball out of the net and threw it hard thirty feet back to the
referee. Her face was bunched up tight, pissed off for letting
that ball through...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/soccer/1
Running time: 11:30
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Barely Happy
Kathy asked me the questions, and as I answered them I wondered, Does that
sound happy? Would B show my happiness better than C? Is this quiz going
to probe my soul with a long straw and find there is nothing to suck?...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/barelyhappy/1
Running time: 1:56
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Winter
I am about to break a promise.
I promised myself a long time ago that I would never write an essay in February about winter. Who needs another lament about the grayest time of the year?
And yet, as I sit here in the middle of February, the grayest, grayest, grayest time of the year, something has to be said, so I am going to say it...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/winter/1
Running time: 7:36
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Pronoun Muteness
"Would you move the laundry to the drier, since you're up?"
Now I know she hadn't said "you", meaning me, until I asked.
I say, "See. That's one right there. The pronoun thing."
Kathy pauses for a slow breath. "I," she says pointing to herself,
"don't know what you," she says pointing to me, "are talking about."...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/pronounmuteness/1
Running time: 3:06
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Advertising
Perhaps it is understandable, with the hackysack circle of a lifetime
taking place, that Mr. Kawalski did not notice the fight that broke
out between two of his students. One of the boys had told the other
that he "smelled like a log". The boy who heard this didn't know
what it meant - and neither did the boy who said it - but it was
clearly an insult that could not be ignored, so they started fighting...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/advertis ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
A Cat in Hand
It's hard to keep cats from going where you don't want them to go, isn't it?
It's like they have minds of their own. They get into everything and either
break it or put scratches into it. I know your frustration and can show you
a great trick for keeping your cats in line...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/acatinhand/1
Running time: 2:12
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Pie
"It's true, sweetie," I said to Kathy, "pie is a very funny word. Listen: piiiiiie. See? I'm almost laughing now." I felt the corners of my mouth twitch upward.
Kathy said, "Is that what you're thinking about when I'm talking and you're not listening?"
"Um, no."
"Oh, right."
I don't get it. Why doesn't Kathy like my theories when she thinks I'm ignoring her?...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/pie/1
Running time: 7:29
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Ask the Page
I'm betting that some of you have started a novel at one time or another and couldn't get past the first few pages. I know what that's like and I think I can help...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/askthepage/1
Running time: 5:45
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Roaring Crowd
She had not wanted muscles. If you're twelve years old, and five-foot-seven and weigh (arrrrrgh!) almost a hundred pounds, muscles don't help. They just make you look even bigger.
Dad did not listen. He dragged her onto the court and made her play horse and one-on-one. It would have been torture if she had cared, since he could outshoot her from anywhere in the driveway and block any shot she tried to take.
"Come on!" he said. "Shoot it! Shoot it!" And when she tried to shoot he slapped ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Toothbrushes
My grief was deep but brief - here were the new toothbrushes. Time to use mine.
You might be wondering, how did I know which one was mine? Good question.
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/toothbrushes/1/
Running time: 5:49
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Sick Days
No, sir, these lozenges were made by cough drop makers who specialize in drops that taste so bad you get well just so you don't have to suck them anymore.
You don't believe me? Let's have a test. I'm going to say the flavor of a cough drop and you tell me the first thing that comes to your mind. Ready?
Honey Lemon...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/sickdays/1/
Running time: 11:23
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Solemn
"Now in this ceremony we will be choosing a chief. The thing to remember about this Indian ceremony is that it is very solemn, very serious. And the chief has to be the most solemn Indian in the tribe. Do you know how to be solemn?"
The class looked at their teacher without speaking. One or two shook their heads...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/solemn/1/
Running time: 8:04
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Show and Tell
"Little Jack Horner," he continued, "sat in a corner eating his Christmas pie. He stuck in his thumb, and pulled out a plum, and said, 'Ughhh! I hate plums!'"
As he recited his story Julius made a deep scooping motion with his thumb, followed by a horrible spinach-for-dinner face. No one could doubt that Little Jack Horner really hated plums.
The class burst into laughter and clapped spontaneously. Many of them didn't like plums either and admired anyone who would say so out loud. Siste ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Journey of 10,000 Steps
"But now there's a-gonna be a reckoning," I said, thumping the table. "You can't ignore the fact that McDonalds is part of the problem by the way it creates demand through advertising. Never mind me - I'm old and set in my ways. I'm already a goner, but think about the kids today who eat nothing but fries and drink nothing but soda! Think," I said, "of the children."
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/thejourneyof10000steps/1/
Running time: 6:12
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Your Big Ass Clogs My Living Room
Let me just begin by saying my wife loves me very much. Having said that, she does not like everything I do.
Take, for example, the way I occupy our home with my physical presence...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/yourbigassclogsmylivingroom/1/
Running time: 11:25
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Jeffrey's Last Trick or Treat
There was no one at the door, maybe because the house was set further back than most, or maybe because it was getting late and all the other kids had gathered enough candy for one year. But the light was on, so Jeffrey walked right up to it and banged on the door.
When the door opened, he knew right away that this was going to be different...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/jeffreyslasttrickortreat/1/
Running time: 16:29
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Flowers
If anyone ever asks me, "What is the smartest thing you have ever done?" I will have an answer.
Too bad no one has asked me, but that's okay. I'll be ready...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/flowers/1/
Running time: 9:12
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Halloween Party
Wendy mixed drinks while Kathy and I gave out treats. Wendy mixed drinks for everyone. Screwdrivers, I can say from experience, are excellent for trick-or-treating. The kids don't know what they're missing...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/halloweenparty/1
Running time: 15:54
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Charlie the Beauty Consultant
I sat down at the computer, where I saw a dialog box on the sceen that explained that the video card settings were too meagre for the game that Kendall was trying to play. I fussed with the settings like a safecracker listening to tumblers in a lock, and was able to get the game to start. Done and done. Case closed. Charlie adding his few carrots to the family's stone soup.
And this is where my hidden talent was exposed. The game Kendall was trying to start was called Cosmopolitan Virtua ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Blue is a Boy
"You think you know someone, and then they say something like that."
Kathy spoke those words to me the other day. Why? Because I just said what everyone knows.
"Blue is a boy color," I said.
"And what?" said Kathy. "Pink is for girls?"
"No, that's not what I mean. I'm not saying that blue is for boys. I'm saying that blue is a boy...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/blueisaboy/1
Running time: 4:35
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Love and Hug Therapy
There is, however, more than one way to comfort a friend in need. There's the listening and helping way, like what Kathy does, and then there's my way, what I think of as love and hug therapy. I give Kathy a heapin' spoonful of it whenever the world gets her down...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/loveandhugtherapy/1
Running time: 6:49
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Burning Embers
Kathy is the first and best editor of all my stories. As soon as I write something, I print it out and set it on the end table next to where she sits.
And then I wait.
But I do not wait in silence. I will say something like, "I wrote a story for you to look at."
And then, a few minutes or a few hours later I will say, "Did you have a chance to look at that story? Just asking."
And then a little after that I say, "How's that story coming? No worries. Just wondering."
One time Kat ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Names of Saints
John watched and fumed and squirmed, and at last he reached for the only thing left he could think of to get Aubrey to leave him alone. "I know something about her you don't know."
Aubrey pulled his lips back from his fist and squinted at John. "What?" he said.
"I know her name," said John...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/namesofsaints/1
Running time: 13:17
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
After You
"You could write them a note."
"Have you tried to read my handwriting? If it's bad now, just picture it when I'm old."
"I don't have to imagine it. Remember I met you by writing letters? I could barely read them. I must have been desperate." She sighed, "'Well, if he's a man and he can lick a stamp, who cares what he says.'"
"That's so sweet! And I said, 'I don't care if she lives eight states over and runs the vacuum cleaner four times a day, she's the one for me.' "
"Speaking of cle ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
ED (Charlie and Kathy story)
When I saw that ED could be connected to heart disease and diabetes, I knew ED was now sitting at the grownup's table and a new day had dawned. I asked myself, what else could cause ED? Surely there's more...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/ed/1/
Running time: 6:13
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Rush at the DTE (Charlie and Kathy story)
I watched the Rush concert sitting cross-legged directly in front of the television, so close that I could have touched the screen with my elbows.
It was great. What can I say? - it was great. Nothing more needs to be said. That sums it up...just...how good it was.
My parents elected not to to leave the room while I watched the show. Afterward I asked Dad, "So, what did you think?"
"Sounds just like their records," he said.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't have agreed more.. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Game (Charlie and Kathy story)
Kathy has a game she likes to play in bed.
No, not that. Her favorite game, once I get into bed, is to see if she can get me back out of it...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/thegame/1/
Running time: 6:26
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Green Snow (Charlie and Kathy story)
It was filled with the kind of jokey prose that I have since matured away from. Sure, it's fine for a few hundred words at a time, but who can read it for thirty single-spaced pages of small type? I had the same thought on every page: this might have been pretty good if only I had stopped on page two...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/greensnow/1/
Running time: 4:07
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Tea (Charlie and Kathy story)
I said, "Ahh, easy come, easy go. I can do without coffee." I stared at the ceiling as if the coffeeless life were up there somewhere.
Kathy squeezed my hand. "Good," she said...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/tea/1/
Running time: 6:54
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Lightning Drive
And there is a third sister who is almost never mentioned at family gatherings
and who shall not be mentioned further here...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/lightningdrive/1
Running time: 4:38
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Blissful Morning (Charlie and Kathy story)
He stood up and rubbed against me. Who wants to pet their favorite kitty?
I started to poke my finger again, but it only made me feel mean and foolish.
"Okay, just one pet. C'mere, kitty."...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/blissfulmorning/1
Running time: 8:50
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Feelin' the Love (Charlie and Kathy story)
We have long since passed the time in our relationship where it is based on
flowers and candy, yet it still goes strong, 'til death do us part.
But it isn't always obvious. To less experienced couples the past few days
would have seemed less than passionate, and yet they would have been wrong...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/feelinthelove/1
Running time: 3:57
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
A+ (short story)
I have never understood what the term loss of innocence means. The phrase
almost always signals that something bad is about to happen...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/remainders/aplus/1
Running time: 12:57
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Valentine's Day Surprise (Charlie and Kathy story)
Being an object lesson is not as easy as it looks. It means that now that I've
confessed my sins and repented of them, and led the congregation of men in the
singing of hymns to take better care of our wives, I had damn well better
not commit the sins again.
Which is why I was on the Internet on February 8th to order flowers for Kathy
for Valentine's Day. There was no way I could allow myself to forget. And,
even though I was only doing the right thing, on time, like any responsibl ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Emptying out My Room (short story)
When I was twenty I moved out of my college dormitory room for the third and last time...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/remainders/emptyingoutmyroom/1
Running time: 4:56
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Better at That (Charlie and Kathy story)
I was so surprised to come up short on the algebra problem that I didn't ask her about
my book.
Well, it wasn't really my book. One of my poems was published in a poetry
anthology, and she asked for a copy. I wanted to ask her how she would like it
signed. Usually the autographee wants something specific from the
autographer, and I thought it was appropriate to ask before I inscribed my book.
Sorry. I mean the book, not my book...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/ ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Lion (short story, Schoolyard Sketeches)
Adam and Rickey both giggled, and they started roaring louder. They forgot
about Mrs. Budleigh's class. They roared for the kickball game, and they
roared for the jungle gym and for the last six weeks of school - and finally
they roared just to be roaring...
Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/lion/1
Running time: 8:51
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | |
