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June 29, 2008-Infertility Podcast
Feeling better this week. Got some sleep and have a little light at the end of the tunnel: my mom comes in 1.5 weeks! Yay! I talk this week about hoping for longer sleep stretches and still not feeling like a mother. Still on smile watch. Think it'll be any day now that we start getting some real smiles and giggles!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
June 20, 2008-Infertility PodcastI can't believe it. Both babies are asleep. So I have a quick second to upload this podcast. I get a little weepy in this one so I apologize in advance. I am mentally and physically drained and it's hard to believe I have months and months of this draining work ahead of me. But I know it gets easier and more rewarding. And a sleepless night with twins is still tons better than a sleepless night crying over a failed cycle. It's been hard to podcast because every free moment (and there are ve ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
May 30, 2008-Infertility Podcast: 100th Episode!!!Welcome to my 100th episode! Who knew I'd be at this for 100 episodes? When I started, I was just beginning doing injectables and figured I'd be pregnant in no time! This week I talk about still feeling broken--breastfeeding is not going well at all. I also talk about how motherhood (and getting your PhD at the same time) leads you to feel like you have a case of the should be's (as in I should be...holding the babies, working on my dissertation, doing laundry, etc.). But I am blessed with ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
May 11, 2008-Infertility PodcastHow did those 2 babies fit in my belly? Here's a pic of how they were positioned in the womb. So long time no podcast, huh? It's been a crazy few weeks. This week I give you the audio version of the birth story and talk about the trauma with feeding issues. If I sound a bit incoherent, it's because I'm on no sleep right now. It gets better right? :)No matter how little sleep I'm getting though, I still love these 2 sweet babies we've brought home. It's the first mother's day where I can avo ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
April 20, 2008-Infertilty PodcastSo now it seems I may be contracting regularly. I'm 35w2d today. Really wanted to hold on to these babies at least until 36 weeks but they may have other plans. I'll keep you posted.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
April 13, 2008-Infertility PodcastGreetings from the hospital. I'm here being monitored for preeclampsia. Seems I have a mild form and am waiting until tomorrow to see my doc and figure out if I'll stay here until delivery or go home for bed rest. So hoping to go home but we'll see. The babies seem to be doing well and my BP has remained below normal. But I'm spilling protein. So a not-so-fancy podcast this week since I am not at my usual computer. But hey, you can't beat wireless in the hospital. Will try and update with b ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
April 4, 2008-Infertility PodcastBack from a 2 week hiatus. Things are still going well. Still sleepy as all get out and have the craziest cankles you've ever seen but so thrilled to still be pregnant. I talk this week about another trip in to see the doctor--this time for cramping. And I also talk about the emotional mess I wanted to become at today's baby shower.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
March 21, 2008-Infertility Podcast31 weeks today! Who knew growing 2 babies would make me so tired? I talk this week about how tired I've been and how things are moving along: nursery is getting assembled, childbirth and baby care classes are being taken, strollers are being purchased. It's like I'm actually starting to believe that I might just have 2 little ones arriving my way in a few more weeks.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
March 7, 2008-Infertility PodcastAnother trip to L&D this week and yet again, all is OK. NO more trips though--seriously. Unless I'm actually giving birth to these babies, I'm not going. I talk this week about trying to cut back on work and the fact that you still deal with hurtful comments related to IF even after you've been pg for awhile. Tonight is the garage sale for one of the local MoMs groups. Excited to finally be purchasing some things--hopefully my wallet won't hurt too much afterwards!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
February 29, 2008-Infertility PodcastA relatively uneventful week. No trips to the L&D so that's good. Husband was gone all week but was supposed to arrive tonight. Flight got cancelled so he's coming in tomorrow. Bummed about that but oh well. I talk this week about feeling faint all the time, having good friends, and havinga great ultrasound. Babies are both getting big: boy is 3 lbs and girl is 2lbs 14oz. Both are around teh 50th percentile. Hooray. here's a shot of the boy, We seem to get the best shots of him.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
February 22, 2008-Infertility PodcastI'm in the 3rd trimester. Yay! Never thought I'd make it here. This week was another bumpy ride complete with a passing out episode at the dentist and another trip to L&D. But all is well. Went back to the dentist where they let me sit up (vs. lie down) and the contractions I was having again don't seem to be chipping away at my cervix. Energy level though is at an all time low and my ability to move seems to get more and more restricted every day. But each little kick I get is a nudge ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
February 15, 2008-Infertility PodcastI'm at 26 weeks now. Had a scare yesterday with a trip to Labor and Delivery. All is well. Just was having some braxton-hicks contractions that were coming regularly. I talk this week about how your expectations change when you go through IF and how it stinks to be so immobile sometimes.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
February 8, 2008-Infertility PodcastNot much going on this week--which is always good. I'm 25 weeks and chugging away. I talk this week about the debt IF still plays in our lives and how buying crib bedding was the scariest thing I've ever done. But see the pic? I finally did it. Hopefully this will open the flood gates of me being less of a freak and more like a normal pg woman--who wants to buy a zillion things!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
February 3, 2008-Infertility PodcastWell I made it to my first big goal--24 weeks, viability. I talk this
week about my 24-week appointment and u/s. There's a cool shot of our
baby boy there. I also talk about how my day of pampering didn't go
quite as planned and how I've been flooded with emotion since hitting
24 weeks. The countdown continues. Next stop: 27 weeks and the 3rd
trimester.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
January 25, 2008-Infertility PodcastWeek 23 here for me. I'm so close to week 24, I can taste it. Just have to get through this next week of dissertation fun until maybe I can cut back on work and relax a bit. This week I talk about how exhausted I've been and also talk about the consequences of shunning your pg friends while you're going through IF.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
February 17, 2008-Infertility podcast22 weeks tomorrow. I can't believe I keep plugging along. This week I talk about how weird it is to answer the question "How are you feeling?" I also talk about hanging out with IF friends and going to my first mothers of multiples meeting. Had a really cool u/s yesterday complete with lots of 4D pics. The next 2 weeks are going to be crazy with work stuff but I'm just gunning towards February 1st: viability.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
So You Think You Know Infertility: The Game ShowNo major updates for me this week (all is going well) so I decided to do something fun instead. Enjoy the first game show dedicated to all things infertility!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
January 3, 2008-Infertility PodcastWelcome to 2008. Let's hope this year brings us all what we want and have waitied so long for. I had a nice holiday with my family. Listen in this week as I talk about feeling overwhelmed with the shopping list for 2 babies and how I still can't bring myself to buy anything. My next OB appointment is tomorrow and I can't wait. Hoping for yet another peek in at the munchkins.
Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
December 21, 2007-Infertility PodcastSorry for the delay in posting. It's been so busy these last few weeks. But all is well with the babies. Had our level II u/s today and it was so amazing. They are getting so big. Everything looked great and as you can tell by the blinkie, we appear to have 1 of each in there. We honestly would be happy with any option but we are really excited to be expecting a girl and a boy. That means more shopping, right? This week I talk about how it's still weird to break the news to people and how I ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
December 7, 2007-Infertility PodcastAnother uneventful post--thank goodness. Just plowing along. I'm 16 weeks today. Time still seems to be moving really slowing but I feel like it should be picking up at any time now. I'm been swamped with school, grading, and my dissertation. Although I know stress isn't the best thing for a pregnancy, it has been a distraction. Listen in today as I weigh in on the latest Newsweek article on infertility and diet (thanks Kimberly for posting the link). Just one more week until my next appoin ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
November 30, 2007-Infertility PodcastI couldn't think of an image to post for this week. So we'll just go with blank. It's a busy time: finals and working on my dissertation. Still feeling pretty run down and queasy but all still seems to be going well. I';m another 2 weeks away from having another peek at the babies (hopefully) at my next appt. Then, in 3 weeks, it's the big gender scan. Listen in this week as I talk about how I'm still not showing much and how I'm still scared to tell people I'm the "p" word.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
November 16, 2007-Infertility PodcastHad an OB appt with a quick u/s. 2 hearts still beating away. So why can't I chill out? This week I talk about my latest fear: uterine entrapment. I want to let go. I'm in the 2nd trimester. I want to enjoy this pregnancy. Not sure when that will happen.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
November 9, 2007-Infertility PodcastWe had a wonderful NT appointment on Wednesday. The babies were squiggling around so much that they took about an hour to do the full scan. It was a much loved hour watching those 2 dance around like a couple of crazy babies. This week I talk about my fear of weaning myself off meds and how I still feel like I'm far off from feeling comfortable with telling people our news.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
November 2, 2007-Infertility PodcastWhile it seems that time is going by quickly in other areas of my life, for pregnancy, it is like I'm standing still. Each week milestone I hit feels like it took a month to get there. It doesn't help that I had no u/s this week that let me check in on things. I talk today about how my doctor's office is not boosting my confidence, go over some IF-related studies, and talk about how I'm feeling more comfortable with my decision to forgo more immune treatment.
I also feel like a tota ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
October 26, 2007-Infertility PodcastA good week but a stressful one. U/S looked great. Babies were measuring a bit ahead. I was 8w5d and they were 9w1d and 9w. Usually they're measuring behind so it was nice that they played catchup. I discuss this week why I'm thinking about discontinuing IV*Ig. I now have another 2 weeks in between u/s. I haven't had to wait this long yet to check in on the pumpkins so next week is going to be a lonnnnggggg week. Anyone have pro or con views on getting a doppler?
And as an answer to Courtne ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
October 19, 2007-Infertility PodcastA shorter podcast this week. Had a good OB appt and got to take a sneak peek at the 2 monkeys today. I ewent to a new patient class at my OB's office and it was so weird to be around happy pregnant women who had no fears. And it was weird to meet with a doctor who said things like "Congratulations." and "Everything looks great." I'm not used to that. I'm used to "Um, wow, we don't know what's wrong with you." and "Things don't look good." Please let t ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
October 12, 2007-Infertility PodcastSo there's the latest pic of the babes. And, you can also see my stinking subchorionic hematoma too. I flipped it upside down because that way it looks like an alien. :) The babies form the eyes and the SCH forms the mouth. So sort of a long podcast this week where I talk about why it's hard to stay positive (I'm trying though) and how I have a healthy dose of survivor's guilt. I also lament about work life stresses and why DH and I, if we ever get to announce this pg to the world, will be ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
October 5, 2007-Infertility PodcastIt's been a rough day. Lots of red bleeding and cramping landed me in the clinic for an emergency ultrasound. I figured it had to be over. But low and behold: they're both still there. Both have heartbeats and both measured 6w3d (a few days behind but still OK). I was shocked and so relieved. I figured we would lose one at least just because my betas were so weird. To have both still there is so amazing. I go back in for an u/s on Wednesday. I was supposed to head to CA for a wedding on Thu ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
September 27, 2007-Inferility PodcastI won\\\'t spoil too much of the surprise. You\\\'ll have to listen to the podcast this week for all the updates. But the number may give you a hint. :)And I\'m not sure why Libsyn is putting /\'s in my post. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
September 21, 2007-Inferility PodcastWaiting impatiently for my 4th beta. These last 2 days have about killed me. I wish I wouldn't get so down and worked up over things. It's hard not to want this soooo badly and to be so scared about all the what ifs. Thanks to everyone for your wonderful posts--especially to all my former BG members on Baby*Center and FF. I give you all a formal apology in my podcast for being such a bad friend. :)All right, just hoping the next hour goes by really fast!Update: Yay, they called early today. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
September 14, 2007-Inferility PodcastI'm in utter shock. This week has been hell. The 2ww after IVF is so awful and I was getting no sleep and was feeling pretty on edge. So when I tested yesterday (13 days past retrieval), I was basically just confirming a negative. I about fell over when I saw the 3 lines on 3 different tests come up so dark and so quickly. I had to run and get a digital to confirm and it was so awesome to see the word "Pregnant" come up!Official beta is not until Monday but I got one drawn today o ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
September 7, 2007-Infertility PodcastSo those are the 2 beauties. We transferred 2 blasts: 1 early blast grade B and one regular blast grade B+. There were 2 morulas left that they may freeze. And so now begins the true wait. And the wait sucks. It's probably the worst part of IVF to me. You do so much stuff and then you're sent on your merry way to twiddle your thumbs and just wait. I've been taking it easy since transfer and tonight I'm officially off "bedrest." Now I just fight to keep hope alive. Hope abounded be ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
August 31, 2007-Infertility PodcastWell, I had ER today. We got 12 eggs--so just one more than I expected. It's less than the 14 and 20 of yesteryear's IVFs but still, anything in the double digits is good in my opinion. And my last 2 cycles, about 75% of my eggs turned into embryos so that means I'm hoping for 9 embryos this round. Won't know until Sunday. Until then, I wait. In the meantime, I have a meeting to go to. Yuck, who wants to go to a meeting on ER day? I hope they don't mind the spacey look I have or the fact th ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
August 25, 2007-Infertility PodcastSorry about the delay in the posting. Libsyn (my hosting site) was down for awhile. So this cycle seems to be going better than the last 2 but still way too fast. I'm only on 150 IU each day and still E2 is going up and up. You can see by the graphic that it's not as crazy as the last 2 times but still crazy enough. Today's wanding revealed 6 follies >10 mm but <18 mm on the R and 3-4 in that range on the L. Have 3-4 <10 mm on R and 1-2 <10 mm on the L. I may have more but I get ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
August 17, 2007-Infertility PodcastSo there is research showing that the more stressed you are before a cycle, the less likely it will be that you will get pregnant. So I really wanted to try and stay calm this round. But it's been a rough week. I've had to scramble to readjust my travel schedule and cancel a visit to my husband's parents because of this upcoming cycle. I've learned now that, at the last minute, I have to take classes this semester ("Hi professor, I'll be missing this week of class because of bed rest.. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
August 10, 2007-Infertility PodcastMy acupuncturist did a great job getting rid of the BCP-induced nausea. Now just awaiting my baseline scan on Monday so I can start lupr0n. This week I discuss why I'm a worst case scenario kind of person (like knowing where the exit rows are on planes)--and how it meant I knew way too much about IF treatment before I was IF. I also talk about how life is supposed to go on despite being in debt and spending way too much time doing IF treatments. And I'll ponder how best to answer the questi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
August 3, 2007-Infertility PodcastWell I'm on my way to IVF#3...again. Started the BCP and it's making me really queasy. Dates are as follows:8/13 start lupr0n8/24 start stimsER on 9/5 and ET on 9/8Looking forward to a relaxing weekend by the pool. Trying to get as much relaxing in as I can before things get crazy with IVF scheduling!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
July 29, 2007-Infertility PodcastWell, my period is here and it's time to get going on IVF#3....again. And my period didn't arrive because I ovulated. Um, no. My body, despite being pumped up with tons of stim drugs, refuses to O on its own. So it was pr0vera for me. Meeting with doc went well and we're starting me on a lower dose this time. So I start BCP tomorrow. Hoping I'm not on them too long. I want to get this show on the road. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
July 20, 2007-Infertility PodcastI'm stuck in an endless cycle of trying to get to IVF#3. I still haven't ovulated despite the RN's at my clinic's office saying I would. Uh yeah, being that I have ovulatory dysfunction and have been on lupr0n dep0t for the past 2 months, makes that kind of difficult. Went in for blood work today and am awaiting the results. Really hoping they'll just let me trigger and be done with things. I'm spotting slightly though which makes me think that my E2 has plummeted and I'm going to get AF an ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
July 13, 2007-Infertility PodcastHere's a picture of my estrogen levels as compared to my previous 2 cycles. Wow, looks like cycle #2 huh? Things are going nuts and my body just doesn't want to chill out. So hoping to make it a bit longer but this morning's ultrasound was icky: lots of really big follies already. We'll see what the weekend brings. I know it won't bring a glass of wine for relaxation which stinks. But it will bring an acupuncture session and a pedicure. Can't be all bad. Considering I can barely see my toes ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
July 6, 2007-Infertility PodcastBack from Europe. It was a nice visit but I was unable to escape IF. DH delivered news of pg neighbors and everywhere I turned there was a pg belly or stroller. But check out the picture of the sign I saw. Pretty funny, huh. Where is this baby-free zone? Suppression check is tomorrow and I feel anything but suppressed. Feel like I'm swimming in estrogen so we shall see if the lupron depot did it's job. Fingers crossed that we can go for it!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
June 15, 2007-Infertility PodcastStill busily coordinating my own medical care. IVIg is still up in the air but hopefully will come together soon. It seems like things are falling into place for this cycle. TSH under control--check. Endometriosis removed and lupr0n-ed--check! Immune system getting ready to be suppressed--hopefully. This is my last podcast before I head out on my trip. Entertain yourself for the next two weeks by listening to my older podcasts and laugh at my newbie-ness. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
June 8-Infertility PodcastAnother busy week. Gearing up for my next lupr0n shot and my birthday (somehow, I'm dreading both equally as much). And sad news from friends: one is miscarrying and the other one had the birth mother of her adopted daughter decide she wanted her baby back. Makes you wonder why people dealing with IF keep getting swift kicks in the nuts time after time. To keep me sane, I try and listen to music. This week I've given you a sampling of songs I think are actually about dealing with IF.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
June 1, 2007-Infertility PodcastOff to another baseball game tonight (hence the baseball pic). This was a somewhat exciting week. Had a good visit with the in-laws. Also had a great appointment with the RE. I have a schedule!!! Stims start on 7/7/07 (can't get luckier than that) and ER should be around 7/21 with ET on 7/24. No need for BCP or microdose lupron. I get to start right with stims (since I'm busily suppressing myself these past 2 months). I can't wait to start. But in the meantime I have a birthday to celebrate ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
May 25, 2007-Infertility PodcastOff to the In-Laws for Memorial Day weekend. I need some kind of vacation. This week I had 3 doctor's appointments, 1 acupuncture appointment, a physical therapy appointment, and a training session on how to become a patient actor. Hellooooo? I don't need to be trained on how to become a patient. I've had plenty of training in just this week alone! Lupr0n's first casualty? My sleep. No hot flashes this week but the anxiety level hasn't been too great. The 2nd casualty? My urinary tract--whi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
May 18, 2007-Infertility PodcastLupr0n is doing its best to make me moody. Sorry if I sounds a bit one edge in the podcast this week. Not too much going on since it is the world's longest break from IF treatments (just 49 more days to go until IVF #3 but who's counting). Listen in as a bitch and moan about talking IF with friends who don't get it and how I'm ready to be a hermit again and drown my moodiness in some good wine on the porch. Feel free to e-mail me at nopeainthepod@hotmail.com.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
May 11, 2007-Infertility PodcastBack from my visit to my folks. Highly recommend a visit to your family for some good ol' fashioned mom and dad pampering. After many failed cycles, it was very much needed.
On another note, make your voice heard! Write to your representative about HR 322, a bill that would legislate infertility insurance coverage. It just takes a quick note (or better yet call) to your representative. Find an easy to fill out form here.
I start lupr0n dep0t on Saturday. Stay tuned for the joys of goi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
April 27, 2007-Infertility PodcastIVF #3 seems so far away. But I'm getting ready to start lupr0n dep0t (well, in 2 more weeks). Part of me is excited and ready for another IVF and part of me is dreading the endless doctors appointments. But IVF must go on and I will enjoy this 2 month break before the daily needles come out. Listen in on how its tough to keep it together sometimes and why it's hard to know when you've done enough IVFs.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |
April 20, 2007-Infertility PodcastWhat a long week: A visit with the RE (went great), visit from the SIL
and BIL and their 2 kids (went great but glad to have my house back),
and visit from a bunch of medical bills (trying to make these go away).
Kind of a downer podcast but I'm going to pull myself out of this! Got
great weekend plans ahead and the weather has finally turned back to
spring. Yay!Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | |