Paco the Great Podcast Podcasts

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Trumix.com listings available of Paco the Great Podcast Podcasts Build your own playlists with this podcast. Sonnets from Cute Little Monster Chad Tarzinsky grown up narrates through sonnets about Paco, Joe, Sofia, and the caverns of adulthood.  The order below is the sequence of composition; the characters' ages go in a different order.  Here's a breakdown of the books' chronologies to help you keep track of who talks about when: Paco and Chad were only twelve year olds at the beginning of Paco the Great, narrated by Paco.   They're seventeen in The Book of Jeremiah, narrated by Jeremy in his senior year.&nbs ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | JeremiahChapTwo Jeremiah wakes up from a suicide attempt as who should come knocking on his door but Paco the Great himself. Can the stud get up and wrestled one more time, or will he regret trying life again? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Part 2 of Elias the Vampire John De Colores paints a candid picture of the teen pop icon Elias and what it was really like to be his number one fan.  This explicit account of Boy Blue's socio-spiritual psyche branches into areas of the family tree where bats hang and gnomes hide from their mainstream judges.  Come now, who would dare imagine that a young man of so many blessings could possibly have escaped their counterpart curses. This chapter comes from Sunny Day, Rainy Boy, the author's ninth an ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Elias the Vampire Part One Elias's first chapter from Called to the Mat opens up his confessions about temptation, attraction, and masturbation. Why does the boy prophet hear God's voice yet still he can't keep his hands off himself? Why do his eyes have a faith of their own quite contradictory to his soul's convictions? This coming of age narration candidly delves into some of the torrential struggles of Christian teens who can dance, sing, wrestle, and preach but carry a personal cross, that inescapable reality ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Book of Jeremiah Theme Song in Raag Lalit Alap, Jor, Jhalla, Vilambit The Book of Jeremiah theme song based on Raag Lalit, a traditional Hindustani raga, performed and recorded on sitar, violin, tambura, harmonium, and vocal. Lyrics allude to the monkey god Hanuman protecting his beloved Rama and Sita, but in this case the divine powers care for Jeremiah and his wrestling teammates he secretly loves as more than friends. The theme song begins with an alap, an improvisational phrasing indicative of the raag, but without a set taala or rhythm pattern; progres ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Part III: Jeremiah and John Meet John's narration about meeting Jeremy, as told in Sunny Day, Rainy Boy. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | John and Jeremiah Meet Part II 2nd part of John-Jeremy meeting, with Chap 32 of Sunny Day, Rainy Boy which was finished in 2007. This episode features John's point of view from which he telecognitively converses with Jeremy's dog Hamlet, delving into the young man's secrets. John expresses basic truths about Making Weight and his Inextricably Bound theory, which is an allusion to a phrase used by Martin Luther King, Jr. in his "I Have a Dream" speech: "Their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom." The chapter ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | The Book of Jeremiah: Part I of Jeremy Meets John Part I compares Chap 31 of the author's 2nd book with its Chap 32 of his 9th novel. Adam reads aloud and discusses changes in his life, style, metaphors, allusions, censorship, voice, self-defining narrative, and emotional health. Part II will feature the meeting scene told from the character John's point of view, and Part III will finish John's telling and examine changes in the writing experience. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | The Book of Jeremiah, Chap 1. My Faithful Team Jeremiah Hoffereene loses a wrestling match to his crosstown rival and crush. His coach's wife is cheating on him with the lay reader from church, who has the gall to show up at the meet and sit next to the coach's wife. Coach takes out his personal problems on Jeremiah, who is already suicidal over hunger, depression, and failing on the mat. But younger teammates Paco, Chad, and Elias won't stop pestering him with affection and attention. Jeremiah only hates himself more for wanting to eat ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Benjamin's Bageshree Song on sitar, violin, and vocal dedicated to Benjamin Bernstein of http://itsallgoodastrology.com.  Benjamin is an excellent teacher who breaks down complicated so that even neophytes can benefit from his guidance in self-discovdery.  In writing Sunny Day, Rainy Boy, much of what I learned in order to use astrology as symbols in my characterization camde from Benjamin.  He is currently studying shamanism and seems to me to have an obvious knack for intuition and compassionat ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | A Rocky II Poem at Home A video podcast episode about watching Rocky II as a fully grown gay former wrestler.  We never stop trying to measure up, pass tests, qualify as worthy. For more of Adam's poetry, visit http://stores.lulu.com/adamapellasios and look for The Belmont Rocks and Other Gay Chicago Poems. Efxaristo for joining us! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Poem set to music: "Unrequited Verses in Bubbling Bageshree" I want to sing Bageshree when you open up to me so you'll know how God sounds when he thinks about you The night we first kissed and the night of your expectations like unrequited verses have rewritten themselves into this composition as it becomes all I have of you to touch in the the images  you dropped, and I picked them up and can't let go, I can't let go   Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Return to Blackberry Creek Let me know if you enjoy some real pix and footage of the original setting of Paco the Great.  If you visit http://stores.lulu.com/adamapellasios you will see I've been busy formatting print and pdf versions of older works in the even of an alien abduction, in which case you would still be able to obtain my life work. I plan to begin recording audiobooks again perhaps during Turkey Massacre weekend.  My Indian friends say they're glad Columbus wasn't looking for Turkey. Since I fi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | The End, Chaps 42, 43, 44, "Jeremiah Hoffereene," "Cutting Weight," "Baseball man" Jeremiah Hoffereene starves himself to make weight and cuts too much to win.  When he doesn't make weight for conference, the coach confides in his own rivals about his team woes.  Paco has had enough of adults abusing his friends. Paco hears the rattling of ice as his ma has taken out her jingle dress to dance again.  The sound awakens him from a dream where Laughs a Lot appeared and asked him to dance for him at the Gathering of Nations pow wow.  Paco meets his two spi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | The End, Chaps 42, 43, 44, "Jeremiah Hoffereene," "Cutting Weight," "Baseball man" Jeremiah Hoffereene starves himself to make weight and cuts too much to win.  When he doesn't make weight for conference, the coach confides in his own rivals about his team woes.  Paco has had enough of adults abusing his friends. Paco hears the rattling of ice as his ma has taken out her jingle dress to dance again.  The sound awakens him from a dream where Laughs a Lot appeared and asked him to dance for him at the Gathering of Nations pow wow.  Paco meets his two spi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 41, "Some Important Matches" It's a hungry, parched night before the ultimate matches that decide who goes downstate, and three Indian princesses, Corn, Beans, and Squash, visit Paco in a dream and make him pick who's prettiest.  One promises him strength, another to make him smart, and the third promises him true love.  He reaches to hug her and . . . the most important bouts of Paco's life unfold. The dream alludes to Paris's dilemma in Homer's Illiad in which Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite tried to con the ha ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chaps 39-40, "Heartache" and "Kid Club" Paco's heart and body sicken with goodbye to John, but it's not contagious.  Chad doesn't catch it when he visits and makes Paco feel better just in time for the hot part of the wrestling season to heat up to hellish degrees. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 38, "Christmas" Christmas Day at the De Colores lodge!  Relatives, extended family, and friends give gifts of dysfunction, abstract architecture, a choker, Pendletons, Rainbow Tribe books about Buffy St. Marie, and the gift of sobriety.  John and Paco share a bed.  Can Paco keep his hands to himself? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 37, "Laughing a Lot" Christmas Eve with Laughs a Lot and John home for the holiday!  But Paco's dad has also rounded up the rest of his pack, with Chad and Elias over where they belong, with Paco.  Laughs a Lot tells of his vision quest.  Paco finds another use for an acrostic.  Why does Sofia give her pastor back her church keys after the midnight service where Elias sings in tongues?  What did Paco's great-grandfather mean when he told Paco he had "two spirits," or did he ca ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 36, "In and Out of the Tunnel" Taco, now John Grotten, returns from rehab during a dark moon phase to wrap up some karma.  Then he's off to CrossRoads, a halfway house.  This chapter's archetypes and symbols represent major life-changing passages. Paco actually prays, "Gitchee Manidoo, meegwech!"  God, thank you! The Tunnel ends and John's thinking clears.  Paco's dog's spirit makes it clear to Paco that he must not follow in the pawprints of John's previous "friends," aka abusers. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 35, "Buildup" Wrestling begins:  top, bottom, neutral, defer?  Paco would rather lose than see Chad lose.  Paco wants only one thing for Christmas, but only the one he wants can give it.  Book talk elaborates lingo, motives/motifs, crushes, dissociation, holidays. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 34, "Breakdown" Taco attempts suicide.  The Pony Boys wrestle and kick some serious ass except where Taco's dad is concerned, revealed by the adult foot-sized bruise on his ribs.  Yet Paco tries to handle his friends problems himself, sneaking him up into his room on nights when Taco foregoes drinking with his sources. The title of this chapter, breakdown, refers to a wrestling term where you literally break down your opponent, from his knees to his stomach so you can turn him to his back, but it ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 33, "History" Wrestling camp folklore of piss pills traded with girlfriends who had Rx-level PMS; of Rufie the Iowa superheavyweight; and of Coach Joey's disgraceful feeling even when others bragged of him overcoming prejudice from hicktown fans and refs.  Joey admits he got better at wrestling after high school, but to Paco the dark Sagittarius is like Jupiter with lightning quick headlocks and his message for boys about destiny and self-actualization. After the mini wrestling camp, the season begi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 32, "Black Hands Upon My Face" Shadow archetypes emerge and a blood bonding ritual binds the four boys to each other in a moon-bathed vow beyond the blackness of the team socks.  Coach Joey and his same-aged wrestling brother Mike shut the kids out of the wrestling room while they brawl in private.  Paco drinks from Chad's finger and opens his eyes to the dawn as the black cat creeps out of the dorm.  He chases the ungainable shadow through the woods until he finds the dark soul is resting inside its right ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 31, "Camp Black Sock" Once the black socks go on, the season has begun.  At a mini-camp, Paco finally has his pack on the mat.  Only trouble is he has to share his coach with kids from other teams at this outdoor ed camp, and then Joey's sidekick, Sammy, even gifts a pair of black socks to a kid from another team.  Are they all in this together or something? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 30, "Bridge" Wrestling weighins, puberty, self-consciousness, and promiscuity twirl in the minds of the boys becoming better than friends, but Pop finds Taco's Mad Dog up in Paco's room.  Uh oh!  Should a good kid like Paco be hanging around with a ragamuffin like Taco, who even admits he sort of hit on Paco's dad to see if he was like the others whom he manipulated to acquire drugs, alcohol, and what seems to him like a safer place to spend the night.  Taco is making a living at being a ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 29, "Vamping" Paco's pack holds their first overnight at the De Colores lodge, and after Taco and Chad fall asleep, Elias confesses he might be part vampire.  The title of the chapter, "Vamping," suggests word associations from the letter V:  vamping (guitar strumming; Elias plays blues guitar), revamp (change), vampire (he's pale and can feel weakened by his predatory thirst, a dark inheritance of his past), vanity (suggesting Elias has a shallow side), vain (futility), vane (weather ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 28, "New Tricks" Paco takes his family and friends to a rained-out Sox game.  It's Elias and Taco's first pro baseball game.  A book talk follows in which the author asks God important questions, and God answers!  Find out if God was right about the ending of Harry Potter #7. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 27, "Mad Dog" Animoosh is needed in the Afterworld on the night Taco returns to school, smelling fermented and ashy.  Do our beloved animal spirits come back and guard us?  Paco digs his dog's grave and later digs himself deeper into Taco's danger.  Sneaking his friend upstairs, Paco hosts Taco's first overnight.  Paco is dazzled by the sight of him in the moonlight but guards his friend from these feelings.  Taco's thousand questions under the influence of Mad Dog keep Paco up; ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 26, "Falling" Falling in a lot of ways:  failing grades, falling for mainstream pressure to be like everyone else.  Paco's new friend Elias tries to cheer him up with some blues songs, and a cute, sweet Mexican girl tries to tutor him in Spanish.  Todd, who stole Traci, bumps more than the volleyball, and Paco wants to spike him in the head.  Meegwich to Gitchee Manidoo for art class at the end of the day, where the kids laugh and create away their seventh grade stress. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 25, "Decline" The Parent Song based on Raag Bageshree is a dialogue between Paco and Ma-Pop after this chapter about them helping their son stop digging and realize he's in a hole of school and girl drama.  They bond while studying and digging up background on the parents about the origin of their name change, De Colores, as well as how they met through tutoring in the first place.  Pop alludes to Henri Alain-Fournier's The Wanderer, an immature romance novel written by an author who died ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Part II, Chap 24, "Junior High" A hard rock song Back to School intros Paco's first day of junior high, where he hates his math teacher and likes his wrestling coach English teacher, who gives him Oliver Twist.  He meets the most out-going, popular kid, Elias Van J'Lis, who is an evangelist, singer, dancer, but is as pale as an undernourished vampire.  But where's Traci been?  Their relationship comes to a head after her soccer practice, where Paco comes to realize what has become of them. The song lyrics a ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chap 23, "The Last Trail" The author switches to present tense for one chapter to see Paco's apex as it happens:  He's made it to the end of the trails!  The hero's journey rewards him with a magical meeting as his eyes find not a golden fleece but another dark-eyed traveller like himself:  Jeremiah Hoffereene, a high school wrestling loner with his own wrestling mat but no friend to work out with.  Paco grabs a rock thrown to him by Baseball Man in a dream and scratches his phone number into a f ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chaps 20, 21, 22: "Feeling Wiry," "A New Ballgame," "Backtracking" In Chapter 20, Paco begins to think that what he's doing with Chad is abuse toward him. In Chapter 21, Chad serenades Paco with some Chopin the day before they go back to school.  They end up upstairs in Chad's room. In Chapter 22, Paco confides in Tracy that he made an ass out of himself at the baseball game.  She basically hits on him up front. The podcast episode closes with Raag Bageshree, a Hindustani raga in vilambit (slow) teentaal (a 16 beat rhythmic cycle).  This pie ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 19, "Bombers" After a WWII dream, Paco wakes up Chad to hit the trails.  At the park they find a body under a Helter Skelter slide with no footprints in the dew; the body had lain there that night.  The search for Taco is over; Taco aka John is back from his "gayass Uncle's" but will kill himself before he lives with his father again.  A book talk follows about symbolic colors, painting, and writing based on who the author had been as a developing adolescent and how these persona ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 18, "Paradise and Hell" At last, Paco's long-awaited birthday with its Cancerian roller-coaster moods. . . the boy is 13 now and by many rites a man.  After the dream chapters, he emerges from his unconscious, his Sheol, by meditating upon courage through his outdoor, early morning runs.  He has come across the kid with the taco-colored hair, the fighter from elementary school, who he knows spent time alone with Chad; point being that Paco's picking his pack which will consist of the two most controversi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 18, "Paradise and Hell" At last, Paco's long-awaited birthday with its Cancerian roller-coaster moods. . . the boy is 13 now and by many rites a man.  After the dream chapters, he emerges from his unconscious, his Sheol, by meditating upon courage through his outdoor, early morning runs.  He has come across the kid with the taco-colored hair, the fighter from elementary school, who he knows spent time alone with Chad; point being that Paco's picking his pack which will consist of the two most controversi ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco's Song for Courage, "Songideewin" Nin winidee, nin dewidee, nind ishkidee, nin mikage niminagan, kitimageningewin, nind ajoganike gigi songendamowin, songidee gigi songendamowin, songideewin . . . I have an unclean heartI feel pain in my heartMy heart is tired of sorrow and griefI find a place of crossing:  compassionI make a bridge with my strong thoughtI am brave with strong thought:  courage Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 17, "Ma Wanted Me to Remember, so I Wrote" After Paco's awful acrostic, he writes his mom a poem about waking up early to run, talking to Gitchee Manidoo, making friends of baby rabbits, his attraction to certain friends, and finding a kid sleeping under the slide at his park.  This new character has literally hit bottom in a Helter Skelter life.  Will Paco fall into that mythical river like he did with Chad?  Will attraction get the best of him again? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 17, "Ma Wanted Me to Remember, so I Wrote" After Paco's awful acrostic, he writes his mom a poem about waking up early to run, talking to Gitchee Manidoo, making friends of baby rabbits, his attraction to certain friends, and finding a kid sleeping under the slide at his park.  This new character has literally hit bottom in a Helter Skelter life.  Will Paco fall into that mythical river like he did with Chad?  Will attraction get the best of him again? Picture is a bunny on Paco's trail revisited August 1, 2 ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 16, "Running Alone" Paco's strength and courage build from running with his dog Animoosh, with Tracy, and by himself.  He vows to marathon to the end of all the trails which he finds out is farther than it used to be.  He even brings speed from his dreams to his feet and meets momentum, a force that answers his bursts with Newtonian physics.  Where tarot card 7 was the Chariot, a vehicle of thought, or knowing what you need to do but not necessarily being ready to do it, this chapter is card 8, ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 16, "Running Alone" Paco's strength and courage build from running with his dog Animoosh, with Tracy, and by himself.  He vows to marathon to the end of all the trails which he finds out is farther than it used to be.  He even brings speed from his dreams to his feet and meets momentum, a force that answers his bursts with Newtonian physics.  Where tarot card 7 was the Chariot, a vehicle of thought, or knowing what you need to do but not necessarily being ready to do it, this chapter is card 8, ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 15, "Trouble" Tracy pegs a bike thief in the head with a rock, and Paco's parents don't want him to run alone anymore.  He's livid.  His dog noses her leash, arthritic and old as she is, and he gives in, but out of his mouth pops, "Animosh!" which is Ojibwe for dog.  He didn't know he knew it, and he surprises the shit out of his ma.  Now she's wondering what else is going on in this kid who can suddenly argue, cuss, and speak a little Ojibwe? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 15, "Trouble" Tracy pegs a bike thief in the head with a rock, and Paco's parents don't want him to run alone anymore.  He's livid.  His dog noses her leash, arthritic and old as she is, and he gives in, but out of his mouth pops, "Animosh!" which is Ojibwe for dog.  He didn't know he knew it, and he surprises the shit out of his ma.  Now she's wondering what else is going on in this kid who can suddenly argue, cuss, and speak a little Ojibwe? The pic shows the path that lea ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 14, "Haunted Houses" In a dream, Paco and Baseball Man have a sit-down talk about family crap.  Paco alludes to Waubonsee, a Pottawattomie chief who was known to have beaten his wives and children; he was said to have buried a wife in every camp.  He also sold Native land for 5 cents an acre, which the U.S. government resold for $1.25 an acre.  So Aurora names two schools after him.  Does Paco have family crap?  He's afraid his big secret will leak and bring ghosts into his house.  ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 14, "Haunted Houses" In a dream, Paco and Baseball Man have a sit-down talk about family crap.  Paco alludes to Waubonsee, a Pottawattomie chief who was known to have beaten his wives and children; he was said to have buried a wife in every camp.  He also sold Native land for 5 cents an acre, which the U.S. government resold for $1.25 an acre.  So Aurora names two schools after him.  Does Paco have family crap?  He's afraid his big secret will leak and bring ghosts into his house.  ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 13, "Enter Baseball Man" Baseball Man comes in a dream for a showdown against the Annihilator, whose faces shifts to Jim Buckingham's, the kid Paco fears and respects most.  Then the Annihilator's face mirrors Paco's in this chapter about facing yourself.  Through archetypal memory Paco brings up the name "Gitchee Manidoo," which means Great Spirit in Ojibwe.  Paco's spirituality begins to focus and strengthen. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 13, "Enter Baseball Man" Baseball Man comes in a dream for a showdown against the Annihilator, whose faces shifts to Jim Buckingham's, the kid Paco fears and respects most.  Then the Annihilator's face mirrors Paco's in this chapter about facing yourself.  Through archetypal memory Paco brings up the name "Gitchee Manidoo," which means Great Spirit in Ojibwe.  Paco's spirituality begins to focus and strengthen. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 12, "Stomping" Paco picks up his pace on the nature trails, finally turning his anger outward rather than upon himself.  In his running meditation he recalls a Coach Joey counseling session and realizes that he, Chad, and their coach share more than a love of wrestling.  In a telepathic letter to Coach, Paco confides his empathy and awareness.  The previous chapter explored the concept of the Chariot, the 7th card of the tarot's major arcana; the Horse or Chariot was defined as a ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 12, "Stomping" Paco picks up his pace on the nature trails, finally turning his anger outward rather than upon himself.  In his running meditation he recalls a Coach Joey counseling session and realizes that he, Chad, and their coach share more than a love of wrestling.  In a telepathic letter to Coach, Paco confides his empathy and awareness.  The previous chapter explored the concept of the Chariot, the 7th card of the tarot's major arcana; the Horse or Chariot was defined as a ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 11, "Running from My Father's Gun" A bear dance introduces a transformative chapter in which the Coyote Trickster Chad races the Lioness, Paco's mom, in go carts representing the Chariot and Strength Tarot cards.  Sometimes you know what's right for you but you're not sure you have the courage to get over or around the obstacle.  Does Paco have a Chariot?  He has a bike with pegs.  Episode also reveals Paco's hopes and dreams for destiny.  The Get Up and Run grass song and the River Song reflect moti ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 11, "Running from My Father's Gun" A bear dance introduces a transformative chapter in which the Coyote Trickster Chad races the Lioness, Paco's mom, in go carts representing the Chariot and Strength Tarot cards.  Sometimes you know what's right for you but you're not sure you have the courage to get over or around the obstacle.  Does Paco have a Chariot?  He has a bike with pegs.  Episode also reveals Paco's hopes and dreams for destiny.  The Get Up and Run grass song and the River Song reflect moti ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 10, "Purpose of All This" Paco takes his ma, pop, and best friends Chad and Tracy to see the Chicago White Sox.  They spend the night while he stares at them sleeping and remembers Chad's Young Authors Contest story about suicide.  An illuminating book talk after the chapter delves into dissociation and the effects of sexual abuse upon personality development in adults.  Discussion deals with victim vs. survivor mentalities as well as adaptibility and a mystical transformation in a sweat lod ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 10, "Purpose of All This" Paco takes his ma, pop, and best friends Chad and Tracy to see the Chicago White Sox.  They spend the night while he stares at them sleeping and remembers Chad's Young Authors Contest story about suicide.  An illuminating book talk after the chapter delves into dissociation and the effects of sexual abuse upon personality development in adults.  Discussion deals with victim vs. survivor mentalities as well as adaptibility and a mystical transformation in a sweat lod ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 9, "Shadows" Paco's get up and go gets him up and out the door and to the trails.  Better to make dreams come true than to lie in bed and dream.  This episode introduces Paco's Waking Song based on Raag Bhairavi but combining the Hindustani motif with Native hand drum and harmony.  The Ojibwe lyrics are . . . Makoons nin man, manando baidiminNind amadja, amad, madjikiwissPaco, mako kwiwisensMaman djithigewin nin wania (Bear cub, I awaken him with magicPaco, the bear's first born sonMagic. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 9, "Shadows" Paco's get up and go gets him up and out the door and to the trails.  Better to make dreams come true than to lie in bed and dream.  This episode introduces Paco's Waking Song based on Raag Bhairavi but combining the Hindustani motif with Native hand drum and harmony.  The Ojibwe lyrics are . . . Makoons nin man, manando baidiminNind amadja, amad, madjikiwissPaco, mako kwiwisensMaman djithigewin nin wania (Bear cub, I awaken him with magicPaco, the bear's first born sonMagic. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 8, "Questions" Paco's parents make him sit with them and open up about his First Day at Work, but he opens them up as to how they feel about Chad.  His ma gets out her bald eagle feather and sage and smudges Paco as they each talk to "God" in their own way.  The book talk following the reading journeys into the author's spiritual transformation while beginning recovery from sexual abuse and in coming out of the closet.  Also, the author elaborates on the Magician, High Priestess, ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 8, "Questions" Paco's parents make him sit with them and open up about his First Day at Work, but he opens them up as to how they feel about Chad.  His ma gets out her bald eagle feather and sage and smudges Paco as they each talk to "God" in their own way.  The book talk following the reading journeys into the author's spiritual transformation while beginning recovery from sexual abuse and in coming out of the closet.  Also, the author elaborates on the Magician, High Priestess, ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 7, "Bringing Chad Tarzinsky Home With Me" Chad asks Paco to take him up to his room . . . followed by a book talk about Shadow, Moon, and Trickster archetypes as well as secondary abuse, memory triggers, and deciding how to write about sexual abuse.  The posted picture is of Chad; it was only about my third acrylic, painted back in 1991 when I was trying out painting since I wanted Paco to be an artist.  Episode book talk also shares recollections of college wrestling and the emotional reactions of a teammate who rec ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 7, "Bringing Chad Tarzinsky Home With Me" Chad asks Paco to take him up to his room . . . followed by a book talk about Shadow, Moon, and Trickster archetypes as well as secondary abuse, memory triggers, and deciding how to write about sexual abuse.  The posted picture is of Chad; it was only about my third acrylic, painted back in 1991 when I was trying out painting since I wanted Paco to be an artist.  Episode book talk also shares recollections of college wrestling and the emotional reactions of a teammate who rec ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Chapter 6.Continuing Friendship Chad takes Paco caddying at the ritzy private country club, where he learns how to Yes, Sir and No, Sir like a good little low boy on the totem pole.  Post-chapter, the author delves into a Marxist interpretation of social class struggles implicit in the novel and how the U.S. Gov's manipulation of resources created historical conflicts, dividing Native Americans and creating a dominant ideology.  This chapter reveals a bit of Chad's issues with women, which at first make him appe ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco the Great Chapter 5: In His Room Chad hypnotizes Paco into mindreading Tracy's feelings about them, but Paco burns with jealousy that Chad isn't picking up on his feelings for him.  This episode features a new introductory song: Paco where you gonna run to if your buddy diesWill you go down, how far will you go down to find your friendThe river is cold and I shiver just thinkinyou might drown in my dreamsand nobody will find my friendWill you come back and run with me againWill you come back and run with me again (Har ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco the Great Chapter 5: In His Room Chad hypnotizes Paco into mindreading Tracy's feelings about them, but Paco burns with jealousy that Chad isn't picking up on his feelings for him.  This episode features a new introductory song: Paco where you gonna run to if your buddy diesWill you go down, how far will you go down to find your friendThe river is cold and I shiver just thinkinyou might drown in my dreamsand nobody will find my friendWill you come back and run with me againWill you come back and run with me again (Har ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco the Great Podcast: Chapter 4, "Old Acquaintance, New Friend" Chad invites the baseball team over to swim and Paco stays overnight.  Chad introduces him to the internet and discloses exposition about his notorious trauma and trial, and Paco discloses attraction to Chad in spite of knowing his precocious, seductive friend is an emotional mess inclined toward self-destruction. The picture is the book cover for the Paco the Great Podcast Edition available at http://stores.lulu.com/adamapellasios for $14.95.  The text is the same as th ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco the Great Podcast: Chapter 4, "Old Acquaintance, New Friend" Chad invites the baseball team over to swim and Paco stays overnight.  Chad introduces him to the internet and discloses exposition about his notorious trauma and trial, and Paco discloses attraction to Chad in spite of knowing his precocious, seductive friend is an emotional mess inclined toward self-destruction. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco the Great Podcast: Chapter 3. The Buck Paco's best friend Tracy pitches head to head against the Buck, pony league's best player.  In post-game remorse, that Wild Child Chad Tarzinsky autographs a table in ketchup.  Pop plans to draft a blueprint for a baseball house for Paco and all his friends, but Paco realizes he only has one. Mr. Lonely Low Self-Esteem runs harder. This episode introduces a new intro with some grassdance style.  The lyrics go: Paco, Paco, get up and run/ Run with the rain and t ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco the Great Podcast: Chapter 3. The Buck Paco's best friend Tracy pitches head to head against the Buck, pony league's best player.  In post-game remorse, that Wild Child Chad Tarzinsky autographs a table in ketchup.  Pop plans to draft a blueprint for a baseball house for Paco and all his friends, but Paco realizes he only has one. Mr. Lonely Low Self-Esteem runs harder. This episode introduces a new intro with some grassdance style.  The lyrics go: Paco, Paco, get up and run/ Run with the rain and t ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco the Great Podcast: Chapter 2. Summer Ahead Paco takes his best friend out running. Tracy, a girl who wrestles and pitches on his pony league team, drops a few hints that she wishes he would notice she's not a boy.  Would Paco like her more if she were?  His obsession with winning conveniently distracts him from the possibility of the two becoming a couple like his parents.  Running on the trails, Paco meets the baby rabbits and deer and bonds with his mean dog Ninja, but he also stares more seriously into his par ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco the Great Podcast: Chapter 2. Summer Ahead Paco takes his best friend out running. Tracy, a girl who wrestles and pitches on his pony league team, drops a few hints that she wishes he would notice she's not a boy.  Would Paco like her more if she were?  His obsession with winning conveniently distracts him from the possibility of the two becoming a couple like his parents.  Running on the trails, Paco meets the baby rabbits and deer and bonds with his mean dog Ninja, but he also stares more seriously into his par ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco the Great Podcast: Chapter 1. The Annihilator In Chapter One of Paco the Great, the Annihilator revisits Paco De Colores who has awakened to a flush of memories at the dawn of a dream come true.  But the dream was not without many night terrors in the lives of friends Paco chose to call brothers. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Paco the Great Podcast: Chapter 1. The Annihilator In Chapter One of Paco the Great, the Annihilator revisits Paco De Colores who has awakened to a flush of memories at the dawn of a dream come true.  But the dream was not without many night terrors in the lives of friends Paco chose to call brothers. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache |