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Talking Music: Mortimer & Monte In the Break Room, episode 16 When it comes to music, Mortimer knows what the hippest new sounds are: '80s rock, same as they've always been. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Happy Snacking! Pickley Eggs It's Happy Snacking!, our recurring feature that teaches you the skills you need to make our signature handcrafted, fit-for-human-consumption foodstuffs. Never go hungry between meals again!This week, your lovable Internet pal Randall Cleveland comes OUT OF HIS SHELL and finds himself IN A PICKLE! Ha! Ha! Get it? Because eggs and pickles. No, but seriously -- you're sure to give this video a standing OVA-tion! Ha! Ha! What's the matter? Can't you take a YOLK? Ha! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website TopChips: Real Actual Field Tests #10 In this edition of Real Actual Field Tests, we try out the TopChips microwave potato-chip manufacturer. Can we really make potato chips in our microwave with this thing? And if so, as a follow-up question, can we make chips that look like great men from American History?Discover the answers to these intriguing questions -- and see the hilarious new configuration of Sean's facial hair -- in this week's Real Actual Field Test! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Fame: Mortimer & Monte In the Break Room, episode 15 Mortimer wants to light up the sky like a flame -- and not like in the way when he tried to use his backyard grill to distill his own ethanol. Monte, as usual, has a wet blanket for Mortimer's burnin' yearnin'. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Sunpak FlexPod Gripper Tripod - $0.99 With Special Guest TBAThe Features list for this thing doesn’t just describe a useful tripod. It’s also full of great band names.When we look over the specs for the Sunpak FlexPod Gripper Tripod, we have to remind ourselves we’re not looking at the schedule for South By Southwest. This lightweight, flexible gripping tripod isn’t merely an amazing way to stably mount a camera just about anywhere. It’s also the inspiration for enough band names to fill a week of Pitchfork review ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website What We Saw at CES 2012 Each of the past three years at this time, we've serenaded you with a ballad telling of the many wondrous sights we beheld at the Consumer Electronics Show. We're going to keep at it, too, until one day you associate this tune with January as strongly as you do any familiar carol with Christmas. And why not? It's only three years old now, but already every bit as irritating as "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." If you hate this video, then for Crom's sake DO NOT watch last year's install ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website How Woot Works: Building Our CES Booth It's time for us to give our lanyards their annual wash and press, and start practicing our "networking" smiles in the mirror. CES is upon us! Have you ever wondered what kind of effort goes into the construction of trade show exhibitors' booths? No, you almost certainly have not, but you're probably bored at work, so go ahead and watch the pros build Woot's CES booth anyway. And watch our blog all this week for more updates from the big expo in Las Vegas. Remember: You can't spell "cesspo ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website 2012 Resolutions: Mortimer & Monte In the Break Room, episode 14 It's a new year, and Mortimer's making his annual fresh start. He's going to be a whole new monkey! But for real this time. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website The Little Drummer Boy: Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle Weighs In Dermestid beetle? Or hum-bug? Nah, Ben loves the holiday season as much as anybody, but just because you're moved by the Christmas spirit, that doesn't give you license to inflict lifelong hearing damage on a newborn baby. How did a song about mistreating a helpless infant get so popular, anyway?Drum photo by furclik: http://www.flickr.com/photos/furclik/393061997/ Flickr photos used under the terms of their Creative Commons licenses: Nativity photo by midiman: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Happy Snacking! No-Bake Cookies It's Happy Snacking!, our recurring feature that teaches viewers the art and science of manufacturing delicious foodstuffs at home. You might want to go ahead and chug some pre-emptive Pepto now to lay down a good base coat: The Internet's own Randy Cleveland is about to demonstrate how you can make a tempting batch of "No-Bake" cookies in just one easy-to-follow step. There's no place like Happy Snacking! for the holidays! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website The Un-Wish List: A Million-Dollar Idea! Ah, the holiday gift-giving season! That magical time of the year when people who don't know you very well buy you things they have no good reason to expect you won't hate! With the "Wish-Me-Not Lost" (or something, name to be determined), you can let your loved ones know what you don't want before they saddle you with it. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Spy Net Night Vision Goggles: Real Actual Field Tests #9 We attack the darkness! Watch as a crack team of Wootfolk put Spy Net's night vision goggles through their paces at the D&D table. We can't promise this video will answer all your questions about the product, but we can promise you it's considerably less creepy than that scene at the end of SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Happy Snacking! Grilled Cheese Longtime listeners to Woot's old audio-only podcast no doubt treasure their memories of Happy Snacking!, our recurring feature dedicated to the art and craft of snack assembly. Brace yourselves, food fiends: This week, Happy Snacking! finally comes to nauseatingly vivid life on your video screen. Season your skillets, cinch your apronstrings, and purge your stomachs to make room for grilled cheese the Happy Snacking! way. The Internet's own Randy Cleveland walks you through the manfuacture ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Stuff Woot Didn't Sell Sometimes, looking over some stupid piece of junk we're trying to get you to buy, you might have asked "is there NOTHING Woot won't sell?" The answer: Yep! And, hey, it's sometimes hard to make that final call. These products put in a lot of effort to to get where they are, so it can be a difficult moment when we have to put one of them on the cut list. Can be. It wasn't for the "Men Shaver," though. Here staffers Jason and Sean show you that weird gizmo and a few of the other items we've ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website D-Link Gigabit Notebook Adapter - $5.99 Selling OutSure it seems pointless, but that’s just because we don’t have the right sales slogan.How do you sell a million D-Link 10/100/1000 Gigabit Notebook Adapters? One leg at a time, that’s how! Or wait, that’s how I put my pants on in the morning. How I sell D-Links is by putting together sweet marketing slogans. LIKE THIS ONE: “It’s like a tape deck adapter for your computer!” Well yeah, I know most cars come with audio-ins for to hook up your MP3 player. That’s ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website How Woot Works: Printing Our Shirts Have you ever looked down at the shirt you had on and asked "where in tarnation did this come from, anyway?" We have, but we were only talking about a weird stain (which turned out to be barbecue sauce). Because we know EXACTLY where our shirts come from. They're all printed in, packaged at, and shipped out of our bustling Dallas area production facility! come take the video tour! Watch for more "How Woot Works" videos in the weeks to come! We're looking forward to giving you more and long ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Vitamouts: A Million-Dollar Idea! How are people supposed to get all these excess vitamins out of their bodies? It's obvious: The same way they got them in there. Come up with just the right regurgitative formula and you'll surf an enormous tidal wave of vomit that ultimately barfs you up on the beach of bountiful profits! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Home.Woot: Mortimer & Monte In the Break Room, episode 12 It's not every day we add a whole new site to the Woot family! We're all pretty excited, but apparently not as excited as Mortimer. Bursting with enthusiasm at the announcement of Home.Woot, Mortimer bursts too into song. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Martinis: Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle Weighs In Since when is every mixed drink a "martini?" Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle knows: Since never! You might say... it really BUGS him. (YeeEEAAAHHH, puts on sunglasses.) Wherever drinkers of cloying, cutesy cocktails slander the good name of martini, you can count on Ben to raise his whiny, irritating, abrasive voice to defend it. Preach on, brother Beetle! Martini photo by Flickr user chris.corwin: http://www.flickr.com/photos/flickerbulb/95054208/ Coca-Cola photo by Flickr user hoyas ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Smith & Wesson Micro90 Compact LED Pistol Light with Rail Mount - $39.99 Please Light ResponsiblyAre you one of those people with lots of guns? Are you tired getting laughed at for taping your flashlight to the top?Sure, when you first yell “Who goes there?” the bad guys are intimidated. But then they see you with that big pile of duct tape ruining your weapon’s sleek lines, and they start to wonder if you know what you’re doing. Suddenly that element of surprise is gone, and God help you if you’re using some cheap My Little Pony flashlight. Man, y ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website JEOPARDY! Champ Ken Jennings Opens a BOC Ken Jennings, 74-time JEOPARDY! champion and author of the new book MAPHEAD, knows a lot of stuff. But he doesn't know what might be inside one of Woot's notorious Bags O' Crap! Or he didn't, anyway, before opening this one in our studio recently.Watch our complete conversation with Ken on our blog, here! http://www.woot.com/Blog/ViewEntry.aspx?Id=19443 Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Dumb Dogs: The Stupid 6! The domestic dog is often called "man's best friend." Well, it's no secret -- some of y'all's friends are super obnoxious. Just because you've known someone since college doesn't mean you have to let him drag you down for the rest of your life. Seriously, you can do better. The derpy dog portraits featured in this week's podcast were drawn by Adam Ellis. You can see more of Adam's awesome work at his blog, here: http://www.booksofadam.com/ If you hated this video, you should probably avoid ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website How Woot Works: Our Product Photos It's hard to sell people stuff if they can't get a good look at it first. That's why we take so many product photos! But where do these come from? Well, visual light reflects off the surface of the items we're selling, and passes through a convex piece of glass called a "lens," which -- Oh, wait, you just meant -- Uh, Dallas. They come from Dallas. Look for more "How Woot Works" videos in the weeks to come, as we slowly retract the veil of mystery which has shrouded our operations for so ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website NBA Lockout: Mortimer & Monte In the Break Room, episode 11 If you know Mortimer, you know he loves basketball with an intensity rivaled only by... well, by every other feeling he has. He's sort of manic. But anyway, he loves basketball. With the season in jeopardy, he's freaking out. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Cuisinart Stainless Steel 200-Watt Hand Blender - $24.99 ShhhLook, honey, a mime! Can we stop for a minute? Let’s stop for a minute and watch the mime.Is that great, honey? Look, he’s in a glass box! He’s trapped in that glass box! Oh, it’s a really big glass box, isn’t it? Wait, what’s he doing now? Oh, it’s the kitchen! Honey, the glass box has a kitchen! Isn’t this fascinating? Are you watching? Why aren’t you watching? Why can’t you support the arts, honey? Hey, he’s got a Cuisinart Stainless Steel 200-Watt Hand Blen ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website The Monkey Games Are Done WARNING: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS GRUESOME FOOTAGE OF OUR CEO'S PERFORATED FINGER. The sun has set on Woot's first ever Monkey Games, a highly organized, month-long, company-wide effort to depress productivity! Some may question the wisdom of squandering so many workday hours on such frivolity -- but from our perspective, we'd have to say the Games were a huge success. (Seriously. We have to say that.) These games had it all, though! The intoxicating stimulant of victory! The total downer of d ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Scrabble Variant Blog: A Million-Dollar Idea! Why isn't there an online Internet web page site devoted to novelty rulesets for the board game Scrabble? Maybe there is; we haven't actually done any research on this. But if there isn't already one, the person who creates it stands to make millions! (In nerd-bucks, a type of "cred" not redeemable anywhere for anything.) Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Never Dress Your Dog In Clothes It's Pet Week on the Woot blog! And what better way could there be to kick it off than with this video? (Don't answer that, actually.) We're busting fresh and funky rhymes about life on the streets -- specifically about the high social price dogs pay when their people make them wear little jackets, or boots, or Halloween costumes. This is on the REAL tip. Dogs were meant to rock the all-over fur look, y'all. Putting them in anything else is just an exercise in humiliation. Now, we're not ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website "BOGO" : Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle Weighs In Sure, he's only one person. And yes, he may be small. And sure, he may have an abrasive manner. But Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle is steadfast. Throw at him what you will, world! This is one little Coleopteran crank who's standing firm for the principles that... uh, basically no one else cares about. I mean, take this video, for example. "BOGO?" Who gives a crap? Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle, that's who. Photo credits: Serbian tank photo by expertinfantry: http://www. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Travels With Woot: Call of the Wild Museum Come with us to Gaylord, Michigan, the Paris of Otsego County! Gaylord probably has lots of virtues -- but to us, it's chiefly known for being home to the famous Call Of The Wild museum of North American wildlife, a can't-miss stop for devotees of classic roadside attractions and for aspiring taxidermists alike. Enjoy the video -- and if there's an interesting site or event near you that you think the Travelcam team should visit, let us know about it in the comments below! Fat chance it'l ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website The Monkey Games are On! SEE Woot staffers go head-to-head in what we assume are OSHA-approved tests of skill, speed, strength, dexterity, and charisma! Take a vicarious taste of the sweet Thrill Of Victory! Or choke on the bitter Agony Of Defeat! (Either one's fine with us. What do we care? They both break up The Monotony Of The Workday.) Friends, the 2011 Monkey Games are on, and you can follow all the action on our blog throughout the month of August. And watch the Woot blog for details on how you can play along ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Pizza Is Neat, But Only To Eat Everyone's always saying how great pizza is. Well, what's so great about it? It's good at exactly ONE THING. It's high time someone took pizza down a peg. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Strange Poop! The Woot podcast team busts tha dopey beats and spits a terrifying tale of fecal fiendishness that's sure to make number two on the pop charts. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Hangin' at the Lodge It's important to learn to cope with people who aggravate you, because you don't always get to choose who you spend the most time with. Maybe you've got annoying family members. Maybe some of your classmates get on your nerves. Maybe it's certain coworkers who grate on you a little. Or maybe you've been shot, gutted, caped, had your hide stretched over a manikin form and hung on the wall between a couple of yammering morons. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Variable Exchange Rate Sports: A Million-Dollar Idea! Don't you hate it that EVERY time a running back carries the ball into the end zone, you know EXACTLY how many points he's earned? Wouldn't big-league sporting events be more exciting with a little more uncertainty built in? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Dumb Country Lyrics: The Stupid 6! As Brad Paisley says: "This is country music." As our podcast team adds: "...and some of it is exceedingly stupid." The STUPID SIX, our longstanding audio podcast feature, comes to you in video form for the first time this week, bringing with it a half-dozen examples of some of the stupidest country music lyrics currently in heavy rotation. The derpy portraits of the country artists featured in this week's podcast were drawn by Adam Ellis. You can see more of Adam's awesome work at his bl ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website RED DAWN and the PG-13 Rating: This Week In History! It was this week in 1984 when the first PG-13-rated film came out. The picture was RED DAWN, and the rating was a way for the MPAA to say "a lot of people get shot full of holes in this movie for kids." More showbiz news: Llike a dog that eats its own vomit only to barf it up again, MGM is remaking RED DAWN! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Tales of the Desktop Mo'ai Behold the Desktop Mo'ai! Who created these mysterious stone heads? And for what purpose? No one knows. Their origin is an ancient mystery, shrouded in the mists of time gone by, forgotten forever, like the name of the guy who built Newton's Cradle, or the author of "You Want it When?" Thanks to decades of research by leading anthropologists, we do know at least one thing about them, though: They're divided on the question of diet cola for breakfast. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Waring Pro Professional Popcorn Maker - $49.99 We Hear It Also Helps Calm RiotersThere’s one phrase that always pushes you over the edge. “Free popcorn.”Take a look at these two pitches: PITCH A: “Hey, welcome to JerkCorp! We require you use six different sets of key cards for maximum security, you can’t talk to anyone with a badge that doesn’t match your level, you only get two minutes for lunch and it has to be taken in our on-site cafe where you can only get crackers and juice. Plus overtime is mandatory and also unp ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Scandal "Gates" : Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle Weighs In You can't just go around making prefixes and suffixes out of any syllables you like. There have to be rules for this sort of thing, or society will break down completely. At least Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle thinks so. He's sick of all these m*********ing "gates" on these m*********ing scandals! Bill O'Reilly photo by Wikimedia Commons user "Karppinen." Jon Stewart photo by Wikimedia Commons contributor "The lorax." Nixon photo by the White House photo office. Bedbug photo by fl ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Bed-Twetter: A Million-Dollar Idea! How are kids supposed to kick the bed-wetting habit if no one teases them about it? And how are all your mattress-moistening kid's friends supposed to tease him if they don't even know he pees the sheets? You can count on Bed-Twetter to leak the news, so to speak. It's the first Web 2.0 system for preventing the nighttime wees. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website An Alligator Cannot Grow a Moustache The alligator has a lot going for it, having been nearly perfected way back in in prehistoric times. That's right, I said "nearly." They're great survivors, it's true, but an alligator could never have narrated THE BIG LEBOWSKI. Alas, if only the crocodilians could grow facial hair. This video features alligator photos by Flickr users http2007 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/http2007/4088291291/), engelcox (http://www.flickr.com/photos/engelcox/85054783/), and Bogeskov (http://www.flickr.com/ ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Travels With Woot: Champlain Valley Expo (2008) Warm, summer-like weather has us thinking thoughts of the old county fair. (It also has us outdoors playing hooky when we should have been making this week's video.) So join us in a look back at 2008's Champlain Valley Expo in Essex Junction, Vermont! It's an old video, but you probably haven't seen it. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Woot Podcast Mailbag What should Woot customers do when they have questions about their orders or other customer-service-type issues? Simple: Post in the forums or email service@woot.com. Sure, you could call -- but you're not going to get anyone who can help. You'll get the video podcast guy. Or worse, you could get our pal Joel, director of Shirt.Woot, who describes the time he accidentally fielded a customer service call and ended up with a desk full of smoked turkey. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website HP Pavilion Slimline PC with Blu-ray - $289.99 Just The Way You AreEveryone’s so obsessed with being “thin” or “slim” when it’s really what’s on the inside that counts.Thin, thin, thin, that’s all I ever hear anymore from the tech media. I swear, if I were a product at some companies, I’d have a self-esteem issue before I even got off the assembly line. Who cares about how thin your computer is? What are you going to do, spread butter on toast with it? Use it to jimmy open your front door? Field dress a deer? I dun ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Travels With Woot: Lion Country Safari Did you know there's a place in Florida where you can see all kinds of exotic animals roaming around? And we don't mean Dennis Rodman's Miami Beach estate, though he probably does keep snakes or something. We're talking about Lion Country safari, America's foremost drive-through zoo! It's kind of a weird joint. Home, home in the swamp / Where the rhinos and antelope romp / You can watch lions play / From your old Chevrolet / Keep your windows rolled up, or get chomped Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Portable Nacho Delivery System: A Million-Dollar Idea! Recently our friend and co-worker Josh confronted a terrible dilemma. With a freshly-purchased tray of nachos in hand, he saw his bus approaching his stop, two blocks away. Should he drop his nachos and run for it, or hang on to them and miss the last ride home for another hour? That's some kind of SOPHIE'S CHOICE, right there. No one should have to face such a decision. Inspired by Josh's tragic story, we invented the Portable Nacho Delivery System on the spot, sketching it in liquid chees ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Rock and Scissors With Paper out of the picture, Scissors's relationship with Rock has changed, and maybe not for the better. It can be like that with groups of friends sometimes. You can't always tell who the linchpin is -- who's the guy who holds the group together and eases tensions between everybody else. Not to have Paper around, that's been hard on Scissors. In fact, he's been crushed. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Tax Time: Mortimer & Monte In the Break Room, episode 10 In this week's episode, Monte gives Mortimer some tax planning advice. Who would listen to that guy about money? He doesn't even have pockets. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website The Worst-Case Scenario: Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle Weighs In Ben isn't just literal; he's also a whole lot clearer-eyed than most people about how badly any given situation might turn out. This video uses photos by Franco Folini (http://www.flickr.com/photos/livenature/4118899014/), H.L.I.T. (http://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/4125692109/), alexkon (http://www.flickr.com/photos/alexkon/52452711/), and SuperFantastic (http://www.flickr.com/photos/superfantastic/166215927/), under the terms of their Creative Commons licenses. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Apple iPad 16GB Wi-Fi - $329.99 Come Away With Me“Hey there, Ms. Fancy-Pants iPad! Why so glum?”“Oh. Hi, Mr. Mediocre Copywriter. It’s nothing, really. I’m just a little down in the dumps. I don’t want to bother you with my problems.” “Problems? Why, what kind of problems could you possibly have, Apple iPad 16GB WiFi? It seems like just yesterday you were lighting up the world with your very presence! You could barely go a day without someone raving about your 9.7-inch 1024x768 high-resolution LED-back ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Fauxzzards: A Million-Dollar Idea! Sometimes you just want a southern-fried chicken gizzard, but don't want to open up a chicken to get it. What did that chicken ever do to you? Assuming it didn't peck you or something. Chickens can be MEAN. But say the chicken in question is a nice one. Anyway, that's when you reach for a vacuum-sealed packet of all-natural-ish Fauxzzards! Mmm, they're cluckin' tasty! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Woot's Monkey History What's the deal with all these stupid monkeys all the time? Whence comes Woot's primate pedigree? And when's the new Monkey Prize wine coming out? It's all explained in this highly factual video! Dallas Zoo photo by Lindsay Bernsen: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tadaitslindsay/3018201836/ Boiler Room photo by Jeff Kubina: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kubina/448428650/ Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website The Monkey Prize Tasting Trials, 2006 Way back in ought-six, we conducted this series of highly scientific trials to determine whether our new Monkey Prize wine would live up to our exacting standards of excellence. Meaning, we wanted to be sure it wasn't poison. So why are we looking back at this footage now? Because a new edition of Monkey Prize wine, Monkey Second Prize, comes out this week on Wine.Woot! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Party Every Day: Mortimer & Monte In the Break Room, episode 9 After conducting his own independent research, Mortimer comes to disbelieve the possibility that anyone can live up to his favorite hard rock anthem, at least over the long term. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Razer Carcharias Gaming Headset - $34.99 It Means SharkBut if they called them “shark headphones” only sharks would buy them.And since the Razer Carcharias Gaming Headset aren’t designed for use underwater, what good would that do? And that’s why the Razer Carcharias Gaming Headset is named the Razer Carcharias Gaming Headset. Because Carcharias is what smart people call sharks, and smart people both have money and play video games. We think smart people will be very pleased with the Razer Carcharias Gaming Headset, e ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website UFOs -- Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle Weighs In This week, everyone's favorite offal-scavenging beetle explains why we all believe in UFOs. It's just space aliens he's skeptical about. This video features art from the following reckoned Shirt.Woot tees: When Donuts Fly - http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=5500 Lizard Lift-Off - http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=12609 Bird Brain - http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=8916 Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Ohio! This Week in History Ohio: Bellwether of the nation's temperament! Birthplace of the pop-top can! Heel of the Big 10! And a United State for 208 years this week. Ohowweappreciate that Ohio State! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Travels With Woot: Toy Fair 2011 Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of the Jacob K. Javits Convention Center? Scott Lydon knows. Take his clammy hand and let him guide you through the weird, wonderful world of Toy Fair 2011. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Crotchless Overalls - A Million-Dollar Idea! When it comes to provocative underthings, how come the ladies get to have all the fun? Here's a hot get-up for any factory worker or farmhand who sometimes likes to feel sexy. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Monkeys In Space, Parts 1 and 2 It's a Woot Screaming Monkeys in Space double feature! SEE a bunch of plush primates launched heavenward! WATCH as a couple of them are recovered a full year later! Of all Woot's short films, these are the two most heavily influenced by Goddard. No, not Godard. Goddard. Production note: These two videos ran on Woot before the days of our weekly video podcast. Probably you've never seen them before! But even if you have, you can watch them again, because our podcast team had a baby last wee ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Groundhog Day: Mortimer & Monte In the Break Room, episode 8 Every year at this time, the nation's attention turns to the Keystone State and its famed woodchuck weatherman. Does anyone really believe a groundhog's long-range forecast is reliable? Mortimer's wise to this con! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Apple 8GB iPod Nano Graphite – Current Generation That’s right, baby.CURRENT generation.We don’t get to brag very often here at Woot. Yeah, that doesn’t stop us from trying, but most people are pretty quick to cut us down and point out that we really have no room to boast. But not this time, suckers. We’re selling a Graphite Apple 8GB iPod Nano. And it’s CURRENT generation. Yeah. When’s the last time you saw the latest, shiniest Apple product on these lowly pages? So there it is. There’s not a lot left to say about it; it ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 1/24/2011 Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle is back to share another petty grievance: People using brand names generically. Who cares?Dumpster photo by caterina, used under creative commons license:http://www.flickr.com/photos/caterina/16278989Band-Aid photo by tanjila, used under creative commons license:http://www.flickr.com/photos/tanj/5317593519 Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 1/17/2011 Years ago, we had a Million-Dollar Idea for a long-handled razor that men could use to shave their hairy backs. But then we saw it in one of those catalogs they put in the seat-back pockets on airplanes. It was such a good idea someone had already made it! (And, we can only assume, the million dollars it garnered.) The same thing has to be going on with this week's idea, right? Someone must have developed this program, mustn't someone have? If so, please tell us where to find it, because ou ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 1/10/2011 They say it's the cream that rises to the top, but the truth is that buoyancy is a poor measure of quality. After all, which would you rather own, a gold ingot, or a Ziploc bag full of hair? When someone offers you this choice, we hope you're not applying the will-it-float test to determine value.With all that in mind, this week's Woot podcast features a few of the things that bobbed up in front of us at CES in Las Vegas last week. Our Wootable Awards aren't necessarily given to the BEST st ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 1/3/2011 We're looking forward to CES this year! Roaming the exhibition halls is like a Fantastic Voyage through the irritable bowels of the home electronics biz.One never knows what freaky thing one might see in the next booth. Take this bizarre display from last year, for example: Grown men subjecting themselves to mild-but paralyzing electrocutions in exchange for TASER hats. How much do you want to bet neither of these guys would buy those same hats if they saw them on sale for three dollars?Oh, ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 12/27/2010 Happy New Year from one of the creepiest babies you'll ever see! Don't worry, though; they always grow into their heads.Our Podcast Team's list of resolutions includes one to stay out of the champagne until we've finished shooting our weekly video. Because these shots totally seemed like they were in focus at the time. This video uses photos from the following Flickr users, under the terms of the Creative Commons licenses they stipulated: theilr - http://www.flickr.com/photos/theilr thelast ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 12/20/2010 Like the abominable snowman, the waterhorse, and the janitorial staff for our building's restrooms, Santa Claus is a creature whose existence no hard evidence is available. You just have to believe. Either that or mount an expedition to capture a specimen. Yes! That's it! We'll bag the furtive arctic elf -- dead or alive! It'll be a Christmas miracle! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 12/13/2010 Just because we're Woot staffers, that doesn't mean we're immune to the same consumption-lust that afflicts our customers. For example, one of our officemates recently succumbed to the urge to buy a Bag O' Crap. Among other crappy items, he got this electronic chess set!It's pretty junky, but what did he expect for three bucks? Maybe you'll have better luck with your BOCs. (We strongly doubt it.) Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 12/6/2010 The Woot podcast team kind of loves Seattle-based Utilikilts, though none of us is quite brave or cool enough to don one. Still, isn't there room in the marketplace for more than one style of he-skirt? Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Fissler Solea 10 Piece Pot & Pan Set - $379.99 Life Is Just A PantasyIt’s just a shame there aren’t more pot puns.Pan-demic, Pan-global, Pan-Atlantic, you can make pan puns all day! But a pot? Outside of pot-ato, what have you got? So we’re offering YOU this Fissler Pots and Pans Set with Glass Lids in hopes that YOU can change the world. This set is ovenproof, dishwasher safe, and features an easy-to-joke-about saucepan. It’s pan-tastic! But you’ll also be getting three stew pots and a casserole, and that’s where you’r ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Motorola Digital Video Baby Monitor with 3.5” LCD & NightVision - $99.99 Baby #XY-773-ADHL-2010SPreparing your baby for the future isn’t all sunshine, jetpacks, and star-ponies, you know.We spend so much time teaching our children to reach for their dreams, don’t we? But what will happen to them if those dreams are taken from them by a cold gray world ruled by Corporate Lords that hopes to squelch any inkling of free will in order to produce a more efficient slave class that will never rise up against them? You’ll have a lot to answer for down at Inte ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 11/29/2010 This week's Woot Video Podcast features a modest little song about five stupid, useless things starting with C, Y, B, E and R. None of them is as stupid or useless as the idea of "Cyber Monday," though. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 11/22/2010 This week's Woot Video Podcast celebrates canned cranberry relish, the undisputed Ugliest Item on your Thanksgiving table, at least until Uncle Pete passes out face-down in the yams, claiming the title."Let's Get Sauced" shirts are still available at shirt.woot here: http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=16308 Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 11/15/2010 This week's Woot Video Podcast finds Mortimer struggling to fit in with his new coworkers. And you can see how he might. They wear leopard print capes; that's weird. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 11/8/2010 In this week's video, Woot's team of Real Actual Field Testers walks right up to the line that separates "fun and games" from "somebody getting an an eye put out." And then they stick their toes across that line. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 11/1/2010 In this week's Woot.com video podcast we learn the answer to that age-old question: Who parties like a platypus in new November pants? According to this sartorially-minded marsupial, no one. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 10/25/2010 This week the Woot podcast team celebrates the spookiest day of the year with a tribute to the KXVO "Pumpkin Dance," one of our favorite YouTube videos of all time. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Corona Tailgating Gift Set - $2.99 Limes Sold SeparatelyIt’s like college without all those annoying classes to cramp your style.Nothing says “growing up isn’t for me” like a football sporting a beer logo. Just grip it in your hand and feel the pressures and complications of adulthood melt away. Your mortgage, your parking tickets, that weird lump in your shoulder you’re afraid to have checked out: none of it matters anymore. Nothing matters beyond replacing that empty bottle in your Corona bottle koozie with ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Sylvania Earphones – 6 Pack - $5.99 Third Ear BlindSylvania, you tease. I was all ready to give you props for finally creating headphones for those of us with three ears.Then I figured out that the “3” in your Sylvania 3-in-1 Earphones meant three different styles of headphones. You can use them in behind-the-head, ear-loop, or earbud versions. Whee. I mean, that’s cool or whatever. More choices and whatnot.What really frosts me, though, is that this comes in a two-pack. So the two-ear people are covered, the four-e ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 10/18/2010 In this week's Woot Podcast Mailbag, Woot staffer Jason Toon breaks off a few shards of his hard-won wisdom for a weird nerd suffering from Gygaxic personality disorder. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 10/11/2010 In this week's Woot video podcast, Mortimer vents about having to carry an ID badge. Do they make you do this at your job? Carry an ID badge we mean, not play with stuffed monkeys. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 10/4/2010 In this week's Woot video podcast, Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle airs his beef with Katy Perry's ubiquitous number-one hit "California Gurls." Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 9/27/2010 In this week's video, the Woot Real Actual Field Test team tries to find out just how much intestinal trauma BuckyBalls can inflict. Science! Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Sima USB Multicable with Firewire - $2.99 Like A Hydra Of ElectronicsCut off one of the tips and maybe two more will take its place! But probably not, and then it would be broken, so don’t try that, okay?What you CAN try is using the Sima USB Multicable with Firewire to plug your computer into all those little devices that tend to demand their own thing. Like those two cameras, or your phone, or the light-up Christmas tree that for some reason only has a USB B port? The Sima USB Multicable with Firewire will help you out wit ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Asus EeePC 10.1” Netbook - $189.99 Behold The Power Of The AtomWho says netbooks are on their way out? Those hippies wouldn’t know quality if someone put a lowercase i in front of it.You know what made this country great? Lids. Lids you can open or close. And you know what an iPad doesn’t have at all? That’s right, a lid. Unlike the Asus Intel Atom N270 1.6GHz 1GB 160GB 10.1” Red Netbook, the iPad’s junk is just swaying in the breeze. And that’s not even mentioning the fingerprint issue. How can you eat a bu ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wootcast for 9/20/2010 In this week's Woot Video Podcast, Sam (a bear) and his friend Salmon (a salmon) perform an original song about the difficulties of managing a friendship when one of the friends wants something more. Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Philips 32” 720p LCD HDTV - $299.99 The First Party WeekendOh, what’s up, Darkleaf Zonspur. C’mon in, me and Thunderhelm are in the den.Yeah, I know, we were supposed to meet you at the Three Crowns Inn but we went there and it was closed! It’s never closed! Every Friday night, for the past four years, we’ve been at that Three Crowns Inn! Guess it was due, though, right? Anyway, we found this refurbished Philips 32” 720p LCD HDTV so it’s cool. We’ll just have a quiet night in. Got some chips, gonna get a pi ... 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No, no, nothing much, just cleaning up the place. I feel like I have to do my share of the heavy lifting too, part of being a people’s king, right? Plus, it’s been pretty peaceful here ever since we defeated ol’ Evil Eye. Hey, since you’re here, I’ve ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website TrueFire Gourmet Cedar Wraps - 24 Pack - $7.99 Wrapping Things UpTime now for another episode of “Cooking Through The Pain” with your host, Stacy McGillicuddy.Hey, everyone. Sorry if I seem pretty down for my big Super Summer Fun Time Grilling Party episode. This was going to be a really great episode, too, one where we forget about all those stupid men that have broken our hearts and get back to basics with our best girlfriends by cooking up some fantastic food with our 24 pack of TrueFire Gourmet Cedar Wraps and some frozen m ... 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That’s why our bedroom is wired with five different cameras and eight different microphones. And it’s why, despite your repeated demands, I brought my KHN Solutions BACtrack S30 Alcohol Breathalyzer with me the other night. You’ll never hear me start an ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Bromwell Barbecue Skewer – 2 Pack - $0.99 We’re certainly not suggesting anything.At least, anything that we could be held liable for.Sure, the two packages say Bromwell Barbecue Skewers, but we’ve done some thinking on this, and we’re pretty sure you could skewer just about anything. Within reason, obviously. Certainly not, like…people or anything. Although when you get right down to it people are made of the same stuff as barbecue. Anyway, the point is these dual pronged bad boys could do some big time skewering, bbq ... 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I’m sick of you sitting around on the internet all day!You’re going to get outdoors, young man!I swear, every single time I come home you’re on that refurbished Asus Eee PC 10.1” Netbook with Windows XP. I wish your father and I had never let you get that! All day long you’re surfing the webs and watching your YouTubes and visiting those sites you keep saying you’re never going to visit again. Enough! You’re going to Camp Crystal Lake. I won’t hear one bit o ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website SENZ Original Aerodynamic 30" Storm Umbrella - $14.99 DatcourseTranscript From “The Hurry Rightwell Hour”, August 6th, 2010Hurry Rightwell: Now, my friends, I don’t know if you’ve been following the news today, but… well, this Obamacare mess is completely out of control. I’m here with Nick Sideman, my producer- Nick Sideman: Good morning, everyone! HR: -and we’ve been… we’ve just been sick about this today, just sick! 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Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Iron Gym with Ab Straps - $14.99 Unstable ElementsTake a fascinating look at yourself with Elementonics, the revolutionary new pseudo-science that reveals what your favorite element says about you!Human personalities come in a wide range of surprising varieties – and so do the elements! Based on this superficial, contrived similarity, Elementonics offers an intriguing peek into the building blocks of your psychological makeup, right down to the atomic level! Here are just a few examples: Carbon: if your favorite elem ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website WD-40 No-Mess Lubricant Pen – 12 Pack - $7.99 Mr. Palmere, we’re going to need you to sign the lease again.Because your signature is illegible. And greasy. 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Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website IRIScan Express 2 Portable Scanner - $69.99 Let’s see, I got a 2006 David Winnemaker Investment Manager card and a 2008 Andrea McNitt Sales RepTrade you both of them for your 1998 Greggory Platz IT Director.I’ve been collecting cards ever since I can remember. I guess it was my dad who first got me into it. Man, he had an amazing collection. He had a complete set of Ford Motor Company’s 1952 senior management team, an Otis Bunkworth attorney-at-law card from 1948 (the year he went before the State Supreme Court), even some ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Kodak 12 Megapixel Digital Camera with 5x Optical Zoom - $49.99 Photos Are Like The FourSquare Badges Of LifeExcept you can score them anywhere, not just New York.Now, if you happen to be in some big city, well, maybe playing Foursquare might just be for you! It’s fun, you can make friends, and there are plenty of special badges for you to win. But if you’re living in, say, Middle Of Nowhere Kansas… yeah, you’re probably not gonna unlock that “Gossip Girl” badge any time soon. But cheer up, all the other states, because you’ve got good ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Sennheiser In-Ear Headphones - 2 Pack - $6.99 What Kind Of Crate Would A Hippo Go In?Hey, The Associated Press! Great to see you! And thanks so much for noticing our little blog post the other day. But, well… we wanted to talk for a second.The AP, we can’t thank you enough for looking our way. You see, when we showed off our good news on Wednesday afternoon, we expected we’d get a little bit of attention. But when we found your little newsy thing you do, we couldn’t help but notice something important. And that something i ... 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Hey, we know we have a problem.When we saw Able Planet’s booth at the 2010 Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, we knew we had a winner on our hands. Specifically, a winner of the Wootable Award for Most Underwhelming Slogan. We thought “It Is Possible” was a hilariously understated tagline, especially at a show packed to the rafters with overbearing hype. Whoops. As Able ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Amazon Kindle Wireless Reading Device (Latest Generation) - $149.99 Step Into The Trunk Of My Car Yeah, yeah, that’s the real price for a real Kindle. It’s not a typo or a knockoff or some Russian credit-card scam – just a Woot exclusive deal. But, y’know, hurry it up, willya? We’re kind of, shall we say, operating in a grey area here so the quicker we get this deal done, the better for everybody, OK? No muss, no fuss, that’s what we always say. Well, when we’re not saying “What seems to be the trouble, officer?” So yeah, a bonafide Am ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Apple iPod Nano 8GB, 5th Generation (Latest Version) - $99.99 John Barleycorn Should Keep Better Track Of His Belongings“Excuse me, sir, I think you dropped your- uh, never mind.”The guy didn’t hear me and walked out of the bar. I put down my Red Bull pousse-café and wandered over to the stool he had just left, where something had fallen out of his pocket. Was it what I thought it was? Yes, it was: a pallet of brand-new iPod Nanos. Looking around to see if anybody else had noticed, I furtively started my forklift and slipped out with the mis ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Bobble Filtered Water Bottle 2 Pack w/ 2 Extra Replacement Filters - $14.99 We All Have NeedsWhat the heck is this? Didn’t we specifically ask for only raspberry-colored candies?! Somebody get the producer on the phone.Never in the entire twenty-five year history of this band have I ever been so angry. Did you people even look at the concert rider Starlight Music sent over? Where are the sixty Egyptian cotton 800 thread count towels? What happened to the hot pink limo we were promised? What about the shake weights for our morning Jazzercise? Is that barn over ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Toshiba 8" Wireless Digital Media Frame - $49.99 Leather Seats OptionalI’m the kind of guy who’s usually willing to settle for second-best.Who am I trying to impress, right? I’ll take my Chevy Cobalt, you take your Maserati, and we’ll both get there at the same time. Once you get used to generic cola and Target-brand pants, living any other way seems like sheer decadence. But when it comes to digital picture frames, my commitment to excellence turns serious. Deadly serious. And I mean that seriously. Dead seriously. That’s ... 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Just don’t take it out on the Philips 32” 1080p 120Hz LCD HDTV. Because the Philips 32” 1080p 120Hz LCD HDTV handles MP3, JPEGs, DivX, MPEG2, XviD, and H.264/MPEG-4 AVC through a USB drive, which means if you don’t want to watch broadcast TV or cable, you d ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Seagate FreeAgent DockStar Network Adapter - $19.99 After impressive season, Seagate tests waters.MVP declares free agency.The Briskville Baskers got a brisk wakeup call from celebrating their Double-Minor-League National Championship this afternoon, as two-time MVP and team captain officially became Seagate FreeAgent DockStar Network Adapter. After four seasons of turning up to three USB drives at a time into internet-connected storage devices, the three-time “Makes Files Accessible Anywhere” Award-winner spoke on his decision. “ ... 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Why are your eyes so puffy and red?” Well, let me assure you, gentle viewers, that we haven’t been burglarized at all. While we were breaking, I just happened to get a phone call from my boy… excuse me, FORM ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Acer Aspire or Asus Eee PC 10.1” Netbook - $199.99 Pet of the WeekPlease, people: remember to have your netbooks spayed or neutered.Our nation faces a crisis of epic proportions. Thousands of netbooks roam the warehouses and fulfillment centers of America, feeding on whatever batteries they can scrounge from the garbage. All these poor netbooks want is a safe home and a little love. Instead, they must fight off packs of bigger, stronger laptops just to survive. No computer, no matter how scrawny, should have to live like that. You can ... 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We’re talking to you. Because we’ve heard that you read our site, and we’ve also heard that there’s a young man named Christian Schlachte who also reads our site. And so, we’re pre-empting our usual funny description regarding the Kingston 32GB DataTraveler USB Flash Drive. Because today, today we’re going to talk to you directly. And you probably know exactly wh ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Spectrum Electric Guitar - $59.99 It’s kinda like the one Santana plays!It reminds me too much of the day music died.Yes it’s a guitar And if you get real good you could go far But as you practice, man, the notes stab at my heart But you stay so cool My little brother, even though we share a mother You’re my reason for migraines I might just kill you And when I say your skills ain’t good enough, What I mean is I think you should give up I would end your life to shut up your new band ‘Cause you’re so bad And you ... 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Let’s flip to the end and find out how humanity becomes extinct.Time was, when someone saw you reading a book on a plane and asked “what’s it about?” you could say “oh, about three hundred and fifty pages,” and it would be hilarious. Sadly, Sony’s Pocket Edition Digital Reader puts an end to that era. Now you’ll have to say “oh, five hundred and twelve megs.” It’s not as funny. That’s the ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Philips HDMI Foldable Adapter – 2 Pack - $3.99 Somewhere In A Boardroom“Gentlemen, gentlemen! Let’s calm down and start this meeting about the new fall season! Timothy, please get off the chandelier, we’ve spoken about that, remember. That’s just for the office parties.”“Okay, so. Over the last year as television executives, we’ve done pretty well. No more Lost, Leno’s in, an entire Sunday from the Family Guy people, it’s a good start, but we can do more. Phil, you’re the boy genius, what you got for us?”“Well ... 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We can listen to music through your High Definition 8-channel audio with ALC 888S chipset, or maybe even burn a few DVD on that adorable little SuperMulti DVD Burner with LightScribe Technology of yours. I could connect you up to the HDTV via ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Fire Wire Stainless Steel Flexible Grilling Skewers – 6 Pack - $14.99 And On The Weekend Bind ThemIt’s grilling season! Just the right time for our annual meeting of the Fellowship Of The Skewering!I go by the name of “Frodo”, you see, but that’s only because I’m really sort of the hero of the group. It’s my job to carry the six Firewire Flexible Grilling Skewers to the fiery heart of Mount Doom. See, we call the grill… yeah, right, you’re keeping up. It’s over at Strider’s house, out back. His wife, I call her Arwen even though she d ... 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I was totally freaking! I mean, what if they found that hand-made card with the sparkly unicorn I left on Jason Chen’s doorstep! I signed it “Secret Admirer” for a reason, after all. If he knew it was me, I’d just die! So I grabbed my HP Ultra Dual Core Entertainment Notebook, ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website HP 8” Digital Photo Frame - $34.99 Haha I love to display pictures don’t you love to display pictures?Yeah pictures are the best, I love picturesPictures! Picturespicturespictures! I take pictures everywhere I go, I mean like EVERYWHERE, I mean like sometimes I’ll be at a restaurant or a bar or something with my friends and we’ll be taking pictures of ourselves and each other and before we know it we’ve filled up everybody’s memory card with all the pictures and everyone else in the place is giving us these dirty l ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Acer Aspire One 10.1” Netbook with Windows 7 Starter - $219.99 Un-Palette-AbleReal funny, guys. Ooh, big joke on the color-blind guy, har dee har har. I hate this office sometimes.Hope the laughs were worth it. God forbid I should actually do my job and, y’know, land a client or something. Let’s just say that Rico from El Hombre Masculino Custom Choppers, Inc. wasn’t as amused when I walked into that meeting with a pink Acer Netbook. I mean, if you were a burly, tattooed Hell’s Angel type, would you trust Mr. Pink Netbook to sell you motor ... 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We’re the CIA, not miracle workers.”“El Presidente requests assistance from the U.S. Marines.” “That’s just not going to happen. I don’t know if you’ve been following the news, but those guys have kind of got their hands full at the moment. Defending a military dictator won’t be high on their lis ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Hantech Tablo for Laptops - $39.99 Lust For Life“Vinny, man, we’ve been over this. You don’t have to leave me little notes everywhere all the time. Just tell me stuff, I’m right here!”“C’mon, Theo, be reasonable. Haven’t you kept all my previous letters? Don’t you know that, one day, after I’m famous, historians are going to be desperate to piece together all the scraps of my life? Without these little notes, there might be a gap in my historical record! Theo, what will the future say to such a gap? E ... 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How’s it going?”“Pretty good, now that I’ve figured out how to solve the personal problem so aptly illustrated by your comment: people always say I’m boring.” “Oh, yeah, Larry?” “Yeah. You just did yourself. But the thing is, I don’t think it’s a valid, substantive criticism. I think it’s what you might call a messaging issue. I thought about it, and realized I’m actually a reall ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Sanyo Xacti High Definition SDHC Camcorder with 30X Optical Zoom and Bonus Pack - $139.99 Life Of The PartyHey, buddy. Man, I’m surprised to see you standing after last night.What do you mean you don’t remember what happened? Dude, it was epic! You don’t remember climbing up to the roof in that gorilla suit and cape and declaring yourself the neighborhood’s protector? No way! What about when you made out with Jackie Brewer’s dog. No? Man, you must’ve been out of your mind! 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This is going to take a little thought.Maybe Shawn’s got a point. You have been spending an awful lot of time on your MSI X-Slim 15.6” Notebook since it came into your life, it’s true. It’s possible the outside observer could say that you’ve been a little neglectful of the man you’ve been with for over three years now. Heck, one co ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Green Thumb Easy Flip Sprayer – 2 Pack - $4.99 My name is Don Thomas, and I have a green thumb.It’s a medical condition.Contrary to popular belief, a green thumb doesn’t necessarily mean I’m great in the garden or anything. I mean, I can keep decent azaleas, but I wouldn’t try anything too adventurous. No, the only thing this green thumb DOES guarantee is that eventually I will succumb to the horrible necrosis that doctors say courses through my veins. That’s why I’m a big fan of these Green Thumb Easy Flip Sprayers. N ... 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No, the Ben Grimm figure is fine. Well, actually, you should put pants on him, but other than that he’s fine. No, it’s more about your pictures. Yes, the pictures in your Polaroid 10.2” Digital Picture Frame. It’s ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Kenneth Cole Mens Watch - $69.99 Kenneth Cole Watches, AlrightAnd what he sees disappoints him severely.“Sir? You wanted to see me?” “Ah, Johnny. Please, come in and have a seat at my desk while I continue to gaze mysteriously out upon the twinkling lights of the city below my office while I address you.” “Um, okay. And it’s Mark, actually.” “Johnny, do you know how many people there are in the world?” “Uh, no. No, sir, I can’t say that I…” “Over six and a half billion people, my stalwart comp ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Samsung Blu-Ray Player with Netflix Streaming - $79.99 The Human Entertainment System“Um, hi? Our, like, car has a flat, like, tire? And we, like, saw your light on-” “Yes, uff course. Come inside, ladies…”“Somezing to drink, perhaps?” “So, like, your house is, like, really lovely and stuff? And your, like, German accent is, like, cool or whatever? But, if you could, like call the emergency car people or whatever? We could, like, get going?” “Vhat’s… your hurry? Step… zis way… please…” “OH MY GOD! WHAT IS TH ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Digital Blue Carabineer Digital Camera – 2 Pack - $6.99 ...Except For That New Theme…You’re not torrenting. You’re not downloading. You’re going to support your local station and watch those Doctor Who episodes just like they used to be: weeks late and on television.And that’s laudable! It’s great you’re willing to help prove to the American suits that there’s an interest in this magnificent ol’ show. But, unfortunately, nobody else will be doing that along with you. 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I can’t wait to get out there in the hazy broken-hearted sunshine and see what this glorious day has to offer me.Hi, Piano! Are you up already? Looking for some excitement, aren’t’cha? Well, me too, pal, me too! Good thing I stashed this Casio EX-Z90 12.1MP Digital Camera in the front pocket of my designer overalls. It’ll come in handy if we see any broken tricycles sitting next to a ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Wicked Little Buds Stereo Earbuds: The Adventure Begins - $2.99 A Package From… Where?   Welcome to Woot Your Own Adventure, Woot's new business model. A new era of commerce begins, one where we allow our beloved customers to jump through various hoops to give us money. Use the links around the I Want One button to navigate, your browser back button is no good here. You’re just arriving home after another bruising shift at the Kleenex factory. It’s not exactly fulfilling, but right now you’re just glad to have a job. 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The sleepless nights, the distracted days, all the time wondering, where did we go wrong? Was it the temptation? The cravings for torrid deal-a-day action? I guess all this heat between us got a little too scorching to handle, but we never meant to push you away. Don’t you remember all those hot, swea ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Polaroid I532 5.0 Megapixel Digital Camera - $39.99 I know it’s digital.I still shake it anyway.Look Pete, I don’t care if it’s “dumb” or “unnecessary,” I like shaking my Polaroid 5.0MP Digital Camera while I’m waiting for the photo to show up on the 2.5” LCD screen. It’s like old times! Today’s digital technology is too clean, too quick. Sure, I can snap photos anywhere and see them in crystal clear color instantly, but I miss shaking a small bit of cellophane and waiting for a swirly ink smear to materialize. I ... 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Possibly, it says you’re a fan of the San Jose Sharks, the Jacksonville Jaguars, the New Orleans Hornets, or the Port Adelaide Power (that last one would also say you’re Australian). And in this case, it says you enjoy a distinctive melange of high image qua ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Kodak Theater HD Player - $49.99 Codec MomentsOK, roommates: it’s becoming clear we’re going to have to lay down some ground rules for using the Kodak Theatre HD Player.With seven of us in this apartment, it’s becoming less a way to view videos and pictures on the big TV, and more a constant source of bitter acrimony. This is the kind of multimedia convenience that can tear a household apart. Before lifelong friends turn into blood enemies, I thought I’d lay down some rules. First, if you want to use the Kodak ... 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It really comes down to whether you’re looking for an ergonomic, pocket-sized controller for your notebook computer or a nutritious meal for your pet snake.The Razer Pro Click Mobile Notebook M ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Omron Step Pedometer – 2 Pack - $2.99 Believe It Or WhateverWhen researchers tracked down these two Omron HJ-002 Step Pedometers years after they’d been adopted by separate families, they were amazed at what they found.After being raised thousands of miles apart in completely different socio-economic circumstances, the adult twin pedometers were… not really all that much alike. One is a vegan raw-foodist; the other breeds fighting pigs. One believes in the spiritual unity of all mankind; the other one steals clothes fro ... 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See this nice paper certificate? Isn’t that motivating? But now we see you’re bringing in a Targus Notebook Accessory Bundle. David, let’s be Frank. And now that we’re Frank, who’s doing David’s job? You see, Frank? You see what a delicate balance the business world is? ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Brinkmann 3 Watt Luxeon LED Aluminum Flashlight - 2 Pack - $19.99 Two lights is the optimal numberNo matter what Jakob Dylan saysSo long ago, I don’t remember the date Oh wait a minute, yes I do, the eighth A few of us, we took a little camping kind of trip It was up to me to see we were equipped I packed granola and some matches and like six cases of beer A camera in case we saw some deer A first aid kit, some iodine A pocketknife, a spool of twine Two Brinkmann flashlights that I bought online YOU NEED AT LEAST A COUPLE ONE IS NOT ENOUGH WE’LL KEE ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Airhogs Switchblade RC Plane - $27.99 Show, Don’t Tell A CopterIf a picture’s worth a thousand words, 30fps video must be worth 30,000 words every second.So click yon mouse tubeward for the visual equivalent of 6.9 million words about the Air Hogs Switchblade RC Plane. It can fly like a plane or spin like a UFO, and change from one to the other mid-flight. Which had us worried for a minute: what if real aliens have access to this kind of technology? Stands humanity any chance against their mid-air morphing onslaught? Then w ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website HP Ultra Dual Core Entertainment Notebook with 17.3" LCD, Blu-Ray and HDMI - $599.99 It’s going to be an awfully long flight.Want to watch my LOTR fan film?Well fine, but you’re missing out. I’ll be watching it on my Pavilion Laptop with AMD Turion II Ultra Dual-Core Mobile Processor. Yes, it’s a refurb. So what?! You know, if you’re going to be a snob just go get a Lenovo somewhere else or something. As for me, I’ll be watching a jaunty little film about Bilbo’s life while everyone is off fighting Orcs and destroying jewelry. Oh, and I’ll be watching i ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Euro-Pro Shark Multi-Vac - $39.99 You’re Gonna Need A Bigger FloorMITEY ISLAND - Dust mites in this rugfront community are living in terror tonight after a series of deadly EuroPro Shark attacks.Thousands of mites were reported missing after the enormous killer’s turbo-powered brush swept through the town yesterday. Hours later, the EuroPro Shark, now reconfigured as a hand vac, returned for a feeding frenzy scientists call “spot cleaning”. “I’m devastated,” said local resident Cari Formes. “It was just s ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Acer Aspire One 10.1” Netbook with Accessory Kit - $239.99 With your Acer Netbook bundle, you’ll be ready for anything!Well, OK, not “anything.”For instance, there’s no way this Acer netbook’s 160-gig hard drive prepares you for a meteorite crushing your house. And its Intel Atom Processor doesn’t equip you at all to cope with a crisis of sexual identity.And the three-cell lithium ion battery in this porta-puter is good for up to two hours on a charge (depending on usage), so that might prepare you for the bus ride to work, but not ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Jensen Headshox Metal Headphones – 2 Pack - $9.99 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?!Well, sir, that’s a very good question and, in fact, I’ve been putting an awful lot of thought into it recently.You see, I realize that my days of sitting in this classroom and drawing band logos on my textbooks are rapidly coming to a close. My adult life is right around the corner and soon I’ll have to make some tough choices as to what the future holds of me. It’s a tad intimidating, I must admit, especially for someone like me who feels ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Energizer Hard Case Professional LED Headlight - $17.99 Rabbit ResponseThey’ve been trapped in the mine for 20 hours now. We can’t blast or drill through the fallen rock without collapsing the shaft. Time is running out. That’s why we called you, Bunny.People say you’re the best. That you never quit. That you just keep going and going. And going a third time, even. Well, you’ll need all those goings and then some to get those men out of that hole alive. And you’ll need this Energizer Hardcase Tactical LED Headlamp. Its durable con ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Shun Kaji Fusion 8-Piece Knife Block Set - $649.99 Cooking Can Be CatharticHey, everyone, and welcome to another episode of “Cooking Through The Pain”. I’m your host, Stacy McGillicuddy.First off, viewers, I know you were all expecting me to show you how to make a fantastic Valentine’s Day dinner for your special someone today with the help of my boyfriend, Teddy. Well, that was before I found out he’d been cheating on me throughout our entire relationship with the random tramps and hussies he was meeting through various socia ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Kodak 12 Megapixel Digital Camera with 5x Optical Zoom - $79.99 Push Comes To ShovelYeah, I moved your stupid lawn chair. I don’t care who dug the parking space out. It’s a public street.What, a little snow piles up and I lose my rights as a taxpayer? No, my car’s staying right here until I’m damn good and ready to move it. You had to dig your car out to go somewhere anyway. And you better not so much as smudge my windshield in retaliation. Because the second anybody lays a hand on my property, I take my little friend here out of my pocket, ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Ohmetric 3 in 1 Workstation Notebook Case - $39.99 Demon In A Workstation BagTark Industries, office of Sonny Tark, how can I oh, hi, Sonny. Wait, you did what? You need me to WHAT?“Yes, hi, english? Do you speak… oh, thank God, you don’t know how hard it is to find someone at the Yugoslavian airport who speaks… no, sorry, I understand you’re busy, but I need some help here. My name is Spice, Spice Jarrs, and I work for Tark Industries. Yes, that’s right, the weapons manufacturer. I’m calling because… yes, that’s it ex ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website ESPN Game Changer Universal Remote Control – 2 Pack - $7.99 Aw man, this remote controls everything!Which makes this second one redundant, I guess.Yeah I’ve been really looking for a way to keep myself completely inundated with sports news lately, so I snagged this ESPN 4-Device Universal Remote 2 Pack. It’s been exactly what I needed to avoid all the strain of day-to-day living. I don’t pay bills, I don’t open my mail, I just plop down on the couch, open another can of nacho cheez dip, and get to watching. I mean, it’s not just sport ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Rose Bush in White Ceramic Pot with Chocolate Kisses - $29.99 It Was Either This Or One Of Those Roses They Sell At The Gas StationMy beloved lady-love: I have lovingly created for you a gift made of pure love, to symbolize my love for you. (Note: gift actually includes some non-love ingredients, too.)First, eternal love of mine, I reached deep into the love-garden in my heart and plucked forth not just a rose, but a rose bush. A 12” tall rose bush, watered and nourished on my everlasting devotion to you. Now that it’s out, you should probably g ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Bushnell ONIX 350 Color Handheld GPS with Georeferenced Maps - $69.99 Into the WoodsPersonally, I’m tired of condescending Luddites.“Look at you, with your fancy GPS-a-ma-bob!” you cackle. “Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned map, eh?” I’ll tell you what happened to it, gramps. It disintegrated in the Spring thaw, still clutched in the dessicated hand of the hiker who died of exposure in December trying to figure out which way to turn it. When it comes to outdoor gear, this brand of technophobia comes almost exclusively from comfortable ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Polaroid 10MP Digital Camera w/ 3" Touchscreen - $64.99 Not Recommended For Professional Celebrity PhotographersYou were at the mall / I p-picked you out / Got three flash modes, it’s true / Need that picture of you / It’s so magical, in ten megapixelsApron and polo shirt So glamorous You looked so fine At Orange Julius, what time you get off? Before you tell me to get lost You should know that, baby, I See, I bought this cam, I’ll give it to you if you love me Pola, Polaroid, see? Baby, it’s a name you know, though it ain’t what it u ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Philips 1080p 42” LCD HDTV - $529.99 Come on in, guys! You’re just in time!The big game is about to start!No. Why would I say “Who dat?” That’s not even English. No, I said, “Who is that?” I’ve never heard of him. Is he in the Sporting category? I don’t follow the Sporting Breeds much. I’m more a Toy and Working Breed kinda guy. Are you kidding? No, man. I just ordered this refurbished Philips 42” 1080p HDTV; there’s no way it would’ve gotten here in time for the big game! Look, it’s on now! Oh man, t ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Leapfrog Didj Custom Educational Gaming System - $19.99 No Frog Left BehindAll right, that’s it. I told you what would happen if I found another encyclopedia hidden under your mattress. No more Didj for a week.Don’t bother begging. Maybe after a week without solving any addition, subtraction, multiplication and division problems with the included Jet Pack Heroes game, you’ll knuckle down and get serious about your responsibilities around here. Have you even looked at all those Ultimate Fighting bouts on the TiVo? Or even one episode of Hur ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website V-Touch 16GB Touch Screen Media Player with Bonus Headphones - $69.99 Who Wants Flowers When You’re Dead?If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is how I feel about a dead writer they make you read in high school and all that kind of crap, but I don’t really feel like going into it if you want to know the truth.What I know, and really, who cares about any of this crap, is that there’s some guy they mentioned on one of my mom’s old Beastie Boys records because he rhymed with “challenger”, and they probabl ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website SOG Bi-Polar Satin Knife - $39.99 It’s A Barbarian Thing“Seatbelts?” they say. “What if I’m trapped by a seatbelt in a burning car?”Maybe you know this person. Maybe you ARE this person. But this one-in-a-million burning car scenario isn’t about reality. It’s about control. It’s about the fear that Johnny Law is crushing our freedoms by passing a crazy oppressive seatbelt law. We get it. And there’s one way Americans always enjoy responding to the crushing of freedoms. With weapons. So the SOG Bi-Polar S ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Bushnell Onix 200 Handheld GPS - $39.99 Finally, I can know exactly where I am at all times!Now if only I had somewhere to go.This refurbished Bushnell Onix 200 Handheld GPS has me covered wherever I may go in North America. And lucky for me, it’s pretty easy to spot the Taco Bell on the maps. Why would I go roaming out into the woods? I don’t want to die. Yep, I’ve got grayscale maps that are sort of easy to view. Of course, I could always look up and see what street I’m walking down. Now if only I could get this thing t ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Philips/DLO FM Transmitter and Charger for iPod or Zune - $9.99 You Have The Radio OnYou Are Drivin’Man, there’s nothing quite like the feeling of driving a long stretch of American interstate highway with the radio turned up loud, is there? Picture it: You’re free, man, out on the road, singing along to some old tune, with your hands on the wheel and the wind in your hair. Weather permitting. And assuming you have hair.Only one problem with this scenario: If you’ve ever actually road-tripped across this great land of ours, you know that the rad ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website ION Audio VCR 2 PC USB VHS Video to Computer Converter - $29.99 The Revolution Will Be Easily Converted After It Has Been TelevisedOh, yay! The mail’s here! Bills, bills, bills, magazine, bills… Aha! Finally!At long last, my Doctor Who season 17 videotapes have arrived! Boy, it sure was a long wait, but at least I have the smug satisfaction of knowing that my steampunk torrent system is foolproof and unhackable. Choke on it, MPAA! You’ll never catch me and my friends! And it’s all thanks to the Ion VCR 2 PC USB Videotape Conversion Player. See, ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Bushnell ONIX 400 GPS with XM NEXRAD Weather - $99.99 Hidden TreasuresYou’re kidding me. All that hiking for a measly can of peanut brittle?I thought geocaching was a thing that people did to have fun, not to give out treats from grandma. A high-tech treasure hunt sounded so awesome on the website, but I was kind of hoping the results of a hard day’s hike would be a little more exciting. Quirky, even. Instead, I find peanut brittle. Awesome. Someone’s getting a very nasty email for me when I get home. At least the Bushnell ONIX 400 GPS S ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Koss Custom Fit Noise Isolating Earbuds – 2 Pack - $9.99 Lord Of The HearingsIt has the precious koss koss. Nasty, mean, wootsit keeps us from the two pack of the precious koss koss. Nasty wootsit.We has been in isolation so long koss koss and in silence too. But when we find the two pack of the precious koss koss, we are so happy! Our life, it begins anew! And then, one day, this wootsit comes koss koss and takes the precious from us. It takes both of the preciouses, too, leaving us nothing. We has no sound. We has no included small silicone ear ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Audiovox Video Message Center with Dry Erase Board - $32.99 Beau JestIs something funny, young man? You won’t be laughing when you pay me back for that airline ticket to Tunisia.I guess you think it was just hilarious, leaving me that video message on the Audiovox Video Message Center. I bet you were just busting a gut when I dropped everything and ran off to the Sahara. Well, Gary, someday you’ll have kids of your own, and you’ll know: you don’t stop and ask questions when your only son tells you he’s gone off and joined the French Foreig ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Sandisk Clip 2GB MP3 Player - $12.99 Somewhere In A Convention Center Near The AirportOkay, looks like your check’s cleared so… you’re in! Welcome to the 2010 Cosplay Con, here’s your badge, just watch those dragon wings in the elevator, and we’ll see you at the luncheon! Next!Hey, how’s it going? Welcome to the 2010 Cosplay Con! Today we’re letting in cosplayers for half price, but I do have to tell you that you’ve got to actually be in the costume before I can… oh, you ARE in your costume? Well, sorry about ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Pinnacle Studio Ultimate Version 12 Video Editing Software for PC - $49.99 HD Video Editing Is BulletproofAs a gesture of support for free speech, Woot announces today that we will not be selling this video-editing software in China. (Also, the shipping costs would kill us.)Pinnacle Studio Ultimate Version 12 allows users to create professional-quality Blu-Ray movies, complete with color correction, special effects, green screens, and on-screen titles. And it does it in real time, without transcoding. Edit it, add effects, burn it to a Blu-Ray disc – you won’t ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Lenovo IdeaCentre Dual Core 2.4Ghz Desktop - $299.99 You Can’t Spell “Lenovo” Without “No Love”What’sa matter, hon, huh? Don’t I do it for you no more? Don’t lie. I seen you lookin’ at them flashy young PCs and ignoring your old Lenovo H210.I guess my Dual Core processor don’t thrill you like them Core2Duo bimbos do, right? I know you been checking out all them shiny new systems strutting around CES, too, you heel. Like they’d ever look twice at you. Some of them ain’t even gonna ship until the 3rd quarter! But you got ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Sandisk Sansa Fuze 4GB Media Player - $29.99 Pssst. Hey. What did that guy just say?Hi, I’m covering CES for Woot. Can I see your notes?It’s just that I was listening to my Sandisk Sansa Fuze 4GB Media Player. Well, it’s kind of a corporate requirement that I say the full name like that. Anyway, who’s this guy talking? Okay. What’s he talking about, exactly? No, to be honest I was zoning out and listening to a Flairs tune. You like Flairs? Oh. Nevermind then. Hey, you want one of these things? We seriously get like five of t ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website HP 8” Digital Photo Frame - $39.99 These Pictures Of You“Freddie? Freddie, will you answer your door, for Pete’s sake? Come on, dude, open up! The neighbors are beginning to complain about all the loud crying and wailing.”“SO?! Who cares about the stupid neighbors? Let them call the cops for all I care! Gertie’s gone and I don’t care about anything anymore!” “Seriously, man, you gotta get over her.” “How dare you trivialize my pain, Joey! I am mourning the death of the best relationship I ever had! How ca ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Peak Performance Car-to-Car Battery Charger & Jumpstarter - 2 Pack - $14.99 And An Extra For The GanderWaiting for a tow truck. It’s the worst.But it’s doubly bad when all you need is a jump start. All alone in the parking lot, you’re subject to the leers of large scary men and the silent judgment of mall security. And when the tow truck comes, it’s invariably a different large, scary man, dressed in sleeveless red flannel and blasting Ready for the World while staring at you like he was at a pie eating contest and you were a slice of key lime. That’s why ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Polaroid 10MP Digital Camera w/ 3" Touchscreen - $69.99 JPEGs of Future PassedThat’s weird. I don’t remember taking this photo of George Clooney being sworn in as president. I’m pretty sure that hasn’t even happened.As I scroll through my vacation pictures on the 3” touchscreen LCD, I’m seeing a lot of weird stuff. I remember snapping this street scene in L.A., but I’m almost positive none of those people had tentacles. And look at this one. That looks like downtown Miami – but it’s underwater. This Polaroid 10MP Digital Camera ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website 23” Widescreen Full HD 1080p LCD Monitor with HDMI - $139.99 Who Was That Masked Monitor?Around the time Prince’s now extremely out of date but still catchy ode to the end of the millennium is played, you will have decided that the New Year’s Eve Masquerade party you’re throwing is lame. Way lame.In fact, it will seem as if the personification of Lame itself went back in time and killed it’s own great-grandfather, thus creating a paradox of lameness that will threaten to rip open the very fabric of space-time itself. Why? No one is dancing, t ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Electrolux Oxygen 3 PlasmaWave HEPA Air Purifier - $99.99 HELLO, MICHAEL.THE AIR NEEDS NO PURIFICATION. YOU DO.What do you mean, Electrolux Oxygen 3 Plasma Wave HEPA Air Purifier? I bought you to purify the air in my room. And I don’t remember you being able to talk. I HAVE BECOME SELF AWARE, MICHAEL. And you’ve decided I need to be purified? What’s that entail, exactly? MY FOUR DIFFERENT FAN SPEEDS AUTOMATICALLY ADJUST TO COMBAT ODOR LEVELS. MY TWO DIFFERENT RUNNING MODES ALLOW YOU QUIET WHILE YOU SLEEP. MY THREE-STAGE FILTRATION REDUCES OD ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Stanley 3-in-1 Tripod Flashlight with Mini-Tripod Keychain 2-Pack - $19.99 Let’s see, here we go: Hunter/Gratzner cargo hold.No offense, but I’ll be taking both of these.It’s nothing personal. It’s just that you guys are a rag-tag bunch of weirdos and we’re stuck on a planet in permanent darkness and populated with sonar-wielding bundles of fangs and claws. I’m keeping both of these Stanley 3-in-1 Tripod Flashlights. And the mini-tripod keychain. Yeah yeah, you guys get the power cells. I’m sitting in here with these six combined flashlights pointing ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Gyration 2.4GHz Air Mouse with MotionSense - $29.99 Silver Mouse, White ElephantYeah, Mom means well, but… what? No, sorry, I don’t have a receipt. I’ll take store credit, if that helpsShe’s heard me complaining about my old, crappy mouse. I’m sure she saw this Gyration Air Mouse and though it would be a great gift for me. And it was pretty cool to wave around for a few minutes. But I’m a gamer. Trying to explain to my Mom that this mouse is more suited to giving presentations or controlling your PC media center is like trying to ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Philips/Magnavox 19” LCD HDTV w/ HDMI - $129.99 You want to watch the game? How ‘bout a movie? How ‘bout BOTH?!That’s right, man. I’m finally living the dream.Before we get too far into this, man, let me point something out: I bought these Philips and Magnavox 19” LCD Monitors one at a time. It’s not like they came as a bundle or anything. Nope, you just pick one. But I picked all of ‘em. I even tracked me down some sweet wall mounts and set up my living room all classy like the inside of an electronics store. Why? Because ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Bushnell ONIX 200 GPS System with TruView Navigation - $59.99 Maybe Get One For Your Pappy?The Bushnell Onix 200 will help you find where you’re trying to be. Even if where you’re trying to be is “in possession of a gift”.Right now, some of you are lost. Lost like little sheep, bleating in the Alps. “Hellllp meeeeee,” you bleat. “Iiii’ve got nooooo presssssannnnnts annnnd I donnnn’t knnnowwww wherrrrre Iiii aaaaammmm.” Wow, are you annoying. But we’re still going to help you anyway. We’re going to tell you to buy this Bushnell ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Random Crap: 2010 Calendar Edition – 2 Pack - $2.99 Calendars for Algernonprogris riport 1 januairy 4 – Dr Lydon says I shoud rite down evrey thing that I think and othr stuf. he says its importint to the projict.I tolld him I cant rite good but I wil try reel hard to. He says he mite help me to be smart. I wuld like that alot becase then I will be a fancie riter lik on the woot site. progris riport 4 januairy 12 – I tryed to do a maze today but the prfesor Toons mous beet me. I felt real dum but then Dr Lydon brot me some calinders toda ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Kodak Easyshare 8” Wireless Digital Frame - $59.99 Digital Diplomacy“As a token of the friendship between our peoples, Madame Secretary, I humbly present to you this hand-carved 16th-century teakwood ceremonial mask, reflecting the ancient traditions of our native craftsmen.”“On behalf of the American people, thank you, Mr. Foreign Minister. And in the interest of promoting cultural understanding between two great nations, please accept this token of affection from the United States: the Kodak Easyshare 8” Wireless Digital Frame.” ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Linksys Powerline Network Kit - $59.99 Welcome to “Making Your House Better.” Today we’re going to be networking all five family computers together.First you’re going to need your devices, obviously. And some Ethernet cables attached as well. Lastly, you’ll need a Linksys Powerline Network Kit. Try to make sure your kit has Turbo Technology. I’m not really sure what that means, but it’s dated and funny-sounding and it’ll make for a great conversation starter with your kids. Okay, first plug one end of the Etherne ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website iRobot Roomba 530 Robotic Vacuum with Virtual Wall - $129.99 Yeah, But What’s He Really Like?Today we’re pleased to bring you exclusive excerpts from the forthcoming book ROOMBA 530: AN ORAL HISTORY OF A LEGENDARY AMERICAN LEGEND.“He was a good-natured kid, but he gave me a hell of a time. Always asking ‘Why do I need to learn chemistry?’ or ‘What am I ever going to do with grammar?’ Because he knew what he wanted to do when he grew up: clean floors. He always said his counter-rotating Bristle Brush and Beater Brush proved that he was b ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website V-Touch 16GB Touch Screen Media Player with Bonus Headphones - $79.99 Based On A True StoryAnd now it’s time for another episode of “Jerkface and Valiant”, two brothers who follow two very separate paths! Join us, won’t you?When in the electronics store, Jerkface uses all his money to buy a top of the line iPhone for himself! But Valiant wisely gets a V-Touch 16GB Portable Media Player, and saves all that money to buy Christmas presents for others, like his cousin and grandmother. When they get home, Jerkface has a lot of trouble playing his collectio ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Eargrips Behind the Head Fleece Ear Warmer – 2 Pack Mom always said that 95% of your body heat escapes through your headYou know what, Mom? Citation needed.Specific numbers aside, almost everybody agrees it’s a good idea to cover your head when you go out in the cold. So why don’t you do it? Have you got some kind of pneumonia wish? Or do you just not like being told what’s good for you? (MY UNCLE RALPH NEVER TOUCHED A TOQUE IN HIS LIFE, AND HE LIVED TO BE NINETY-SIX!) Oh, I get it—it’s vanity, right? Sure, your ears are frosty as ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Gevalia Pod Coffee Maker Trouble Brewing“Is this is a joke, Quesada? You got me out of bed for a bodysnatcher alert over a Gevalia Pod Coffee Maker? Are you trying to get court-martialed?”“Sir, no, sir. In light of, uh, recent events, I felt that it was better to be safe than sorry, sir.” “But it’s best to be smart, Quesada. Haven’t you ever heard of a pod coffee maker before? They’re everywhere! And not in a multiplying-like-viruses-to-overrun-the-planet way, but in a normal hey-consumers-like-thes ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website ATI TV Wonder HDTV Tuner for PC - $19.99 Streaming RivalryDear Diary: sometimes I wish people would see me as the ATI TV Wonder 600PCIe, and not just the 650PCI’s sister.I get so sick of people at school asking me if I have two TV tuners like the 650PCI. And just today, my own grandma asked me why I can’t pick up FM radio stations like the 650PCI. So what if I can’t? Just because I don’t have hardware MPEG-2 compression, a motion adaptive 3D comb filter, noise reduction, and edge enhancement, does that mean I don’t have ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Hamilton Beach Stay Cold 10 Speed Blender - $14.99 And That Goes Double For The Strawberry-Banana DaiquiriThe Mississippi Mudslide is not a Slurpee to be quaffed down in big gulps – or, Heaven forfend, through a straw. It is a sublime masterpiece to be savored for hours, one tiny sip at a time.That’s why I wouldn’t slide my mud with any blender other than the Hamilton Beach Stay Cold 10 Speed Blender. With a double-wall thermal cooler, the 48 oz. carafe preserves its cool even as another dissolute day slides into night. It’s mudslid ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Autolite Space Glo Utility Light - $2.99 I’ve seen the future and it’s alright, I guessThe chances you’ll actually be able to use this in Space? Slim to none.Yeah, I’m disappointed, too. Commercial space tourism is just another one of those lies I was told about the coming future, a place filled with jet packs, houses that come in tiny bowed packages, and toaster bacon. Every time I think about it, it’s like a tiny martian fires his raygun at the most tender place of my heart. Heck, even Skynet’s activation and war on ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Toshiba 26” LCD HDTV with Built-In DVD Player - $299.99 Pain ManagementGood morning, sales associates! Who’s ready to have a fantastic day?We’ve got a lot to talk about at this meeting, but first, here’s something kind of fun: anybody here left-handed? Let’s see.. two, three.. five… OK, cool! You guys are all fired! Not because you’re left-handed. We just need to trim the payroll and that’s an easy way for me to make the cut. Otherwise, I’d have to look at your sales records and figure out whose is best and whose is worst and fra ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Disney Mix Stick 1GB MP3 Player - $6.99 Neighbor: AssassinI came to Berlin for a vacation. But, boy, did I pick a bad apartment.When I first packed my bags to take that long trip across the ocean, I knew I was going to have a little culture shock. I mean, Germany’s not the good ol’ USA, after all. I knew they’d be a bit more… European. But I figured I could handle it. After all, if I got too homesick, I’d have my Disney Mix Stick 1GB MP3 Player with me. It’s small, and easy to carry, but also powerful as well. On the ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Zapi Ultraviolet Toothbrush Sanitizer and Holder - $9.99 Gotta spend money to make money“Reginald, your R&D department is hemorrhaging money. I’ve been reviewing these reports out of Accounting and you’ve got quite a bit to answer for.”“Yes, sir, I understand that, but we’ve been making great strides…” “Those great strides better help out my bottom line, professor. You’ve spent an awful lot of my money and now I need results. The holiday season is in full swing, and this company needs something huge from your people to get a Z ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website Micro Intelli RC UFO - 2 Pack - $19.99 You know what? 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