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23” Widescreen Full HD 1080p LCD Monitor with HDMI - $149.99No, I know, you can’t live in the past.Nonetheless, I’m re-evaluating some of my recent decisions.Sometimes you have to just sit down and think over the things you’ve done, and the choices you’ve made, and try to figure if maybe you could have made some smarter decisions. That’s how you learn, you know? It’s how you grow. It’s part of being a man.
So I’m doing a little post-game analysis on this past week or so. Because I feel like I might be in a better situation now if I ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Vornado Soleaire Personal Foot Heater - $19.99Give ‘Em The Ol’ Hotfoot“Hurry! Hurry! If we don’t act fast, I might lose the pinky toe!”“What? What are you talking about?”
“My foot! Frostbite is setting in, I can feel it! Where’s the Vornado Soleaire Personal Foot Heater?”
“It’s in the bathroom closet, but… frostbite? It’s like 45 degrees outside. And you were only out for, what, 10 minutes? How long does it take to fold up the patio umbrella and stack up the chairs?”
“Long enough for my foot to get reall ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
ATI TV Wonder USB Digital HDTV Tuner - $19.99C’mon, Share Some Of That Black Ops Budget With UsHappy Birthday, NSA! We hope you’ll █████ with your █████ ███ today! Once our writeup passes your strict declassification and redaction process, of course.Hey, National Security Agency, you get a bad rap sometimes. And maybe you bring it on yourself a little, to be fair. You’re sort of like the guy who yells at everyone about how tough he is and then winds up with no one to talk to when he’s watching the gam ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Blockade Noise Isolating Earbuds - 2 Pack - $14.99I think the little hairy guy with the claws is popping my bike tires on purposeHead down, earbuds in, try not to get hit by a laserMy mother-in-law thought we were crazy. “You two are going to end up pulverized by a giant world-eating alien just like your Aunt Regina!” We’ve always wanted to live in Metro City, though, and when Jessica got that job offer at the Major Daily Newspaper, we were excited to move to where all the costumed action is.
For about the first three weeks, anyway.
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
iRobot Roomba 530 Robotic Vacuum with Virtual Wall - $129.99Looking For Mr. RoombarThis is nice, isn’t it? I have to say, I was surprised when you called me. Most people who date robots prefer the kind that, you know, look like people.I just keep thinking about all those times you came over to play cards with Len and Sherry. Of course I noticed you, but I never imagined you noticed me, way down on the floor in my self-charging home base. Well, there was this one time when I heard you ask Sherry about me. It made my heart leap. But then Sherry just ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Acer Aspire One 11.6” Netbook - $249.99Interview With The AspireThat’s weird. I don’t remember seeing these two little holes punched into my Acer Aspire One Netbook before.Yeah, just like, two little puncture holes maybe an inch apart, right through the diamond black chassis. From the looks of it, I’d say they were made by an icepick or a roofing nail or something like that. What’s the story? Who would’ve done it, and why? I guess that’s what I get for leaving my Acer Aspire One in front of an open window all night.
... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Philips 32" LCD HDTV - $309.99The Fiery Pits of Pumpkin Hell, now in HD!Peter Pumpkin? This is Georgina Gourd, Gertrude’s mom?When Gertie came home with the invitation to Pepper’s Halloween slumber party, she was so excited. My husband and I were very hesitant about sending her on her first overnight but, with Pepper being her best friend, we thought it’d be okay.
We didn’t realize that when we dropped off the little pumpkin princess at your house last night, we were going to get back a quaking nervous mess of a ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Energizer Light on Demand Twin Light Center - $9.99Let There Be LightAre you in no position to demand anything? Then get a Energizer Light on Demand Twin Light Center! Then you’ll be able to have light every time you want it.How many times has it happened to you? You’re trying to do something in your home, and then, for no reason at all, the sun sets. Yelling won’t help. Screaming only hurts your throat. Kicking is fun but it’s socially unacceptable. You just have to face it. No matter how much you act like a two year old, the sun w ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Genie 1/2 HP Belt Drive Garage Door Opener - $109.99Easy as XYZWell, after weeks and weeks of admonitions from my buttinsky neighbors, I finally went ahead and did it. I bought and installed a Genie garage door opener.I heard it from them pretty much every day. We’d run into each other at the mailbox, and in a conspiratorial whisper, they’d say “your garage door’s open.” I always pretended I was glad for the update, but really, so what if it was? A man’s home is his castle, of which he is king, and the positioning of the drawbrid ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Samsung Bluetooth Headset - $19.99Now, sweetie, don’t be upsetI swear to you, this is not like the time I spent our savings on that Robot Butler kit.Yeah, I know that’s still sitting in the garage along with the DIY Rocket Pack and the EZ-Build Lawn Goat. Yes, I know I have to stop spending money on crazy things I find on the internet. And, YES, I swear I’ll go to the next Impulse Buyers Anonymous meeting.
This Samsung Bluetooth Headset, though, is totally different from all those times, honey. First of all, it’s us ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Energizer Universal Mega Cell Battery Pack - $99.99Dating TipsIt was so hard to find beautiful women who I have something in common with. I like music, sports, and movies; they like pepper spray and restraining orders.I mean, I consider myself a person of deep integrity and substance and sensitivity, someone who honestly seeks a genuine connection with a kindred soul. So why should I settle for ugly chicks?
Then I found something that worked like The Game and Axe Body Spray rolled into one: the Energizer Universal 18000 mAh Battery Pack. I ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Timex iControl Ironman Watch with iPod Control - $24.99He was wearing an Ironman WatchCan you believe it? An Ironman watch. Like—oh, sure, HE ran the Ironman.“Hey,” says the guy in line behind me for concessions, the sound of a challenge in his voice. “Pretty ballsy of you to be wearing that around. You earn it?”
“You bet I did,” I say. “Future Farmers of America, that’s me, just like it says on the jacket. Well, used to be. I guess I’m a past Future Farmer of America now.”
“I’m not talking about your jacket,” he say ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
eMachines 1.6Ghz Desktop Computer - $199.99Tape Deck Sold SeparatelyWhy do I love playing vintage games on my eMachines ET1810-01? Because those are the only kinds of games it can play.But hey, no skin off my thumb. You ask me, they haven’t made a decent video game since Pac-Man got married anyway. So while you new-jacks are dropping crazy dollars for processors that can push mad polygons, me and my Intel 1.6GHz Celeron processor are kicking it old-school. Why would I want to go to Liberty City when I’ve got the whole Oregon Tra ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
First Alert Onelink Smoke Alarm with Voice Alert - 2 Pack - $39.99Armadillos Are The Safest Of All God’s CreaturesOnce upon a time, in a magical land known as Texas, there was a little armadillo named Kevin, who was kind and good and worked in an office.One morning Kevin was in his kitchen, getting ready for work. Kevin enjoyed his job, and was always looking for ways to make his co-workers feel a little better. Sometimes he brought jelly beans and left them in a big pile near the narwhal in the lobby. Sometimes he made armadillo-style banana bread and ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Philips 19” LCD HDTV - $149.99Flight of FancyThe official government story says there was no boy in that balloon. But a growing number of Americans are demanding the truth about what really happened on 10/15.If you accept theCIA’s version of events, the whole incident was merely a misunderstanding. A joke, really. The kid was in the attic all along and everybody got worked up over nothing. Har dee har har. Well, I know what I felt was real. The terror and confusion of that terrible afternoon were too vivid to be wishe ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Acer Aspire One 10.1" Netbook - $229.99They should call them NEATbooks, am I right, people?OK, no, I guess I am not rightNot so long ago, when they said the country would be dotted with numerous wireless “hotspots” where people could get online for free, I scoffed. This was me: “Scoff!” Oh, I was one smug customer.
Then it came to pass. There are wireless networks all over the freaking place now! I ate crow. With egg on my face. It was a kind of Humiliation Brunch.
So now I feel like a pretty much total jackass with my l ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Pioneer HD 1080p Blu-Ray Disc Player - $134.99Let’s All Go To The Chat RoomUsed to be people got mad when somebody talked all through a movie. Now they pay extra to hear it.DVD commentary tracks were bad enough. Somebody tell that guy to pipe down – I’m trying to watch a movie here. Sorry, but your auteuristic insights into this robot fight aren’t exactly vaulting over my fascination threshold. Some things are better shown than told, which you figure if anybody’d know that, it’d be a movie director. Besides, if I wanted to ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Philips Prestigo 15-Device Universal Remote - $29.99Prestigo TripThis Wicker Caddy Isn’t Big Enough For The 15 Of UsThe scene: A comfortable suburban home. The Philips Prestigo 15-Device Universal Remote lands in a small basket of remote controls on a coffee table in front of a couch.
“Make room, schmucks from Schmuckville! There’s a new flipper in town, and I aims to replace ever’ last one of yez. That’s right, I’m a’musclin’ in on your turf! What do you have to say about it?
“I’ll tell you what you have to say about it. ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Box of 15 Marian Heath Christmas Cards - Random 5 Pack - $3.99Send The Cards You’re DealtWho needs Christmas cards? I just get one of those subscription cards out of a magazine, tape the person’s address over the magazine one, scribble HAPPY HOLIDAYS across the back, and drop it in the mail. Doesn’t cost me a dime.Pieces of cardboard are all pretty much created equal anyway, right? When somebody complains, I can lay into them for getting caught up in material possessions and forgetting the reason for the season. The holiday isn’t celebrating H ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Gateway Media Center PC with Intel Core 2 Quad Processor - $479.99Yes, We All See You, Now Quit It“Terms of Service”? What does that mean?@woot the Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center is an original computer that must be purchased to be appreciated
@aplusk Ashton that was funny did you know Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center best desktop invest now keep on rocking
@TheEllenShow o i agree but Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center has 15 in 1 reader that could help you with that problem
@woot Gateway Intel Core2 ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
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