 Every week, The Urban Man sets out to fathom Los Angeles: its mystery, its poetry, and its beautiful conundrums. Along the way, he often gets personally involved with his subject and fraternizes with the natives.Primary Format :
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Not the Messiah Like millions around the world, I was a tad disappointed on Inauguration Day. It was that downbeat speech, the man's refusal to assume the mantle of Messiah, or even flat-outpromise me a better world. I had anticipated the announcement of a newera or at least a fiery dawn. I had expected a Google-Earth zoom out toglobal truths...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
ReasonablenessItâs the night before the inauguration, and like many Americans, the Urban Man has gone to dwell briefly in the 18th century. You remember the 18th Century: enlightenment, rationality, the belief in progress and common purposeâall things lately out of fashion.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Getting RealLast week, the Urban Man attempted to spend a whole day gettingreal. No kidding: I tried to devote a full 24 hours to looking lifeboldly in the eye. I meant to stop dodging issues, deluding myself, orignoring bills stuffed in drawers. I intended not to duck hard facts,even if they hit me square on the forehead...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Necessary BureaucracyTonight I want to tell you about the kiss of a beautiful woman. It was,I assure you, exquisite. But first we have a little bureaucracy tocomplete...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Necessary BureaucracyTonight I want to tell you about the kiss of a beautiful woman. It was,I assure you, exquisite. But first we have a little bureaucracy tocomplete...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
2009: Not as Bad as You ThinkOnce again, itâs time to announce my highly-anticipated predictions for
the coming year. Once again, the Urban Man has been chatting up leading
psychics and diligently caucusing with unnamed sources...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
2009: Not as Bad as You ThinkOnce again, itâs time to announce my highly-anticipated predictions for
the coming year. Once again, the Urban Man has been chatting up leading
psychics and diligently caucusing with unnamed sources...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
A Watch for the Urban ManListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
A Watch for the Urban ManListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Warming Up 4th and MainAgain the other night, the Urban Man headed out to help warm updowntown L.A. Like many downtowns around the country, ours is a big,cold place after darkâ so as usual, it required some thousands of
Angelenos to get it done...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Warming Up 4th and MainAgain the other night, the Urban Man headed out to help warm updowntown L.A. Like many downtowns around the country, ours is a big,cold place after darkâ so as usual, it required some thousands of
Angelenos to get it done...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Warming Up L.A. LiveOnce I heard Kevin Starr, the great California historian, say a remarkable thing about L.A. He said, "Now that we've poured all this concrete, we have to learn to love concrete." And I remember thinking, "Yes! What a noble request to make of the human spirit. After all, here in L.A. someone is always building something large and cold and ugly. And surely, it's our job to go out and warm these structures up, not just with our bodies and our cash, but our affections."Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Warming Up L.A. LiveOnce I heard Kevin Starr, the great California historian, say a remarkable thing about L.A. He said, "Now that we've poured all this concrete, we have to learn to love concrete." And I remember thinking, "Yes! What a noble request to make of the human spirit. After all, here in L.A. someone is always building something large and cold and ugly. And surely, it's our job to go out and warm these structures up, not just with our bodies and our cash, but our affections."Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Tree of NumbersRecently, while working his day job, the Urban Man almost set off yetanother global financial crisis. Really. All because of cell H33 onpage 5 of a spreadsheet I was constructing...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Tree of NumbersRecently, while working his day job, the Urban Man almost set off yetanother global financial crisis. Really. All because of cell H33 onpage 5 of a spreadsheet I was constructing...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Out Looking for the SparkLast week I got a little depressed. Yes, it happens even to the mostdedicated Angeleno. Maybe it was a post-election depression or maybe itwas part of the upcoming global depressionâ¦in any case, I needed to
access The Spark of Life...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Out Looking for the SparkLast week I got a little depressed. Yes, it happens even to the mostdedicated Angeleno. Maybe it was a post-election depression or maybe itwas part of the upcoming global depressionâ¦in any case, I needed to
access The Spark of Life...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Last View of AtlantisWasn't it a shame that just before Athens fell, nobody snapped any picturesâ¦or okay, made a few sketches? I mean, wouldn't it be great to see how the Acropolis actually looked? The Roman Colosseum? The Colossus of Rhodes?...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The New WorldJust after the election, I read a quote from a woman in France whosaid, "I think America is re-becoming a new world." All week long thatphrase rang musically in the ear of the Urban Man as he went lookingfor the new world right here in L.A....Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Standing at the Edge, Part III don't know about you, but tonight the Urban Man feels ten monthspregnant. I'm lying here with a strangely distended belly, waitinghelplessly for the birth of a new world...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Standing at the EdgeI don't know about you, but even though the world is coming to an end,I haven't yet noticed any despair on the streets. The people I run intoseem curiously upbeat, in fact unusually free with their smiles. Newvitality has entered social gatherings. A strange optimism. Maybethat's because every time one world ends, another begins, and whoknowsâthe next world might be better...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Mastering 'It'Mastering 'It'Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Evading Mere Logic
Here in L.A., we're good at evading logic. Usually this only requires
high production values and snappy dialog. I mean, if the explosions are
big enough, the audience will forget that the car ran out of gas before
the last commercial break. Give the hero a black leather trench coat,
and no one will realize that he could have, you know, gone to the
police three scenes back. And yes, if the lyrics of her song are
well-phrased, no one will notice that the heroine has no way of
actually suppor ... Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Palace of Distraction
Like most Americans, the Urban Man tries to stay as distracted as
possible throughout his day. There's coffee, there's YouTube, there's
email, blogs, Brittany, Brad, Hillary, Barack, and Angelina. And if all
that fails...which it never does...there's the ceaseless reconfiguration of
my digital devices...
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Spring Flu
Last week, when the world financial system got a spring flu, so did
the Urban Man. I also found myself in bed, one moment spiking 104, the
next shaking with chills. I also tuned in the BBC at 3 a.m. and fell
prey to fever dreams. The markets got a $200 billion shot from Ben
Bernanke. Me, I made do with over-the-counter drugs...
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An Unwelcome Revelation
Every now and then the truth leaks out. You know, the way the
universe is really organized. Maybe you knew it all along, or maybe you
suspected it long ago. Still, when you accidentally hear the inner
ticking of the gears or glimpse the secret action of the levers, the
mind does tend to reel...
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Not for Everyone
It's not easy to get attention at a social gathering in this town. Each
of us has his own virtues and agendas to discuss, but we have to wait
impatiently through the virtues and agendas of others. The Urban Man,
however, has one no-fail way to engage even an Angeleno's full interest...
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Figuring the Value-Add
People like to say that Angelenos are materialistic, but it's not true.
Actually, we're far more sophisticated than we at first appear, and we
deal in currencies far subtler than dollars or real estate or jewels.
For example, we know the exact price of a wry look, a happy nod, a
returned call, a moment in the sun. We know the precise rate of
exchange for clout, juice, shimmy and, of course, lunch reservations...
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Fighting Peter PanFighting Peter PanListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Wild ThingWild ThingListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Serengeti of Expectations
This Thursday is Valentine's Day, but because my mate believes that
romance should be spontaneous, we have made no reservations. With
reservations, she says, come expectations. With expectations, comes
disappointment. Love, claims the Mate of the Urban Man, requires sudden
adventure and hot, sweet surprise. So again this year, we'll simply
head into the glittery night, and see what turns up...
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The Real Thing
Every day it may get harder to separate the real from the dramatic,
the genuine from the theatrical, the costumes and lights from the
heartfelt McCoy. But even here in L.A., we crave authenticity. We don't
want knock-offs, we want Diors; not just directors, but auteurs; not mere relationships, but sometimes, by G-d, marriage...
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My Old Friend Marcus Martialis
Like many Americans, the Urban Man often worries about Rome. Not the
modern Rome, but the ancient Rome---as in, "Will America suffer a similar
fate. Will our empire fall to barbarians or zealots."
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Little Paper Masks
All last week, the Urban Man was having his hardwood floors refinished;
so today, my listeners have every right to expect some amusing tales.
You know: The dust. The fumes. The language barrier with the workers.
And yes, I've already milked the topic in social settings. For example,
I have some great shtick about the arguments with my wife...
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Predictions for 2008
While most of the city whoops it up tonight, the Urban Man will be closeted with leading psychics and well-known experts so I can complete my predictions for Greater L.A. in 2008. I know that everyone from politicians to financiers have come to depend on this forecast, which has always proven just as accurate as they expected...
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Like an Unexpected Thing
Tonight, as the Urban Man goes hurtling toward a holiday party on
the westside of Los Angeles, he again finds himself looking for metaphors of
redemption. As usual, I ignore the tinseled displays, outlined houses,
and giddy malls. Not for me the rhythms and candles of the season...
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Superior Gifting Moments, Part II
Over the millennia, humans have devised many methods of communication:
Heiroglyphics. Smoke signals. Moveable type. But in our day, none have
become so subtle or problematic as the holiday gift...
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Superior Gifting Moments, Part I
Tomorrow, out across the city, loyal listeners will receive the
Urban Man Signature Holiday Catalog for 2007. Like other catalogs, you
can expect extremely long descriptions of superior gift objects. But
your friends and loved ones expect more this year. In fact, 20% more...
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WisdomThe other day I was at a party, sorting through the candidates in
the upcoming primaries, when out of the blue my friend Dave says, "You
know what we need. We need a president who has more than positions---we need a president with wisdom..."
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EnoughIt's almost Thanksgiving, and the Urban Man wants to make sure he has enough. Not just enough sweet potatoes and folding chairs, but enough of ---everything...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Clarity of IntentionYesterday was Veteran---s day, and today---s the federal holiday. The Urban
Man missed the parade, but I spent hours looking for a picture of my
father, taken on an aircraft carrier in 1944.-- I tore apart closets and
rummaged through boxes.Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
House of CardsI don't know about you, but here in the modern world, the Urban Man
often finds himself building a house of cards. You have to be fast, and
you have to be agile if you want it to stand for long. Today I've got a
whole deck to assemble, right in the middle of a shiny black conference
table---that is to say, eight or ten folks from a potential partner
company sit around watching me try to make a deal make sense...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Our Own Private Iowa
When a European arrives in L.A., he's often baffled. Where, he asks, is
the Mediterranean city he expected. Here are the light and the palms,
but no boulevards to stroll, few sidewalk caf--s to lounge, no great
sun-drenched plazas to cross at mid-day...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Dream of Open Space, Part II
A person should not look at old photos of the Los Angeles basin---not
really old photos. I mean, once you could stand on Sunset and gaze down
at a grassy plain cut by a shifting river, rolling hills, and vast
groves of citrus. Me, I've been prepping for L.A.'s first open space
summit, a public event coming up this Friday, October 26, so I had to
look---and I admit the experience has brought on a foolish kind of
nostalgia...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Dream of Open Space, Part I
Last Thursday, caught in the L.A. evening commute, the Urban Man began
to dream of open space. This can happen to even the most dedicated
Angeleno. I mean, there you are, creeping happily in your sealed car
past perfectly good Chevron stations and Del Tacos, when suddenly you
get the urge to leap like an antelope across a green and windswept
hill...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
Traces Left BehindHere in the city, we'd all like to leave behind some permanent mark. You know: A famous name. A thriving institution. A really excellent kitchen remodel...Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
A New Lease on LifeA New Lease on LifeListen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
The Calm Above the StormI don't know about you, but here in the land of perpetual
self-invention, I'm always on the lookout for a new role model.
Sometimes I crave the wiry self-possesion of a Clint Eastwood or the
smug chin of some new streak of success. When I see a tough dealmeister
wearing a Hawaiian shirt, I think: where can I get a Hawaiian shirt....Listen | Listen in your iPhone | Download | View full cache | Visit Website
NowhereI figure a well-trained urban man can find poetry anywhere: down the
smoggiest boulevard, along the aisles of a mega-store, or sitting in
the orange booth of a fast food restaurant. With a slight attitude
adjustment, I'm sure we can all become cheery Huell Howsers, finding
gold in the dust of technical civilization, even as it clouds the
better part of our lives...Listen | Listen in your iPhone |
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