Link to the Show / Show NotesTuesdays news in Scotland and the world:
Lady Mucca Macca Mills gets in trouble with the pigs for trying to break into Paul's house.
Fidel Castro is poorly and is going to let someone else have a go at running Cuba.
Paul O'Grady become a Keane lyric
Customer "help" lines are all rubbish - like that is news.
Steve MacDonald, 31, from Coronation Street, Weatherfield didn't do a burp, but did do drink driving.
Mel Smith isn't allowed to smoke a cigar as part of his Winston Churchill tribute act in case a baby gets third hand smoke and dies of lung cancer.
A big bit of rock is going to tumble down and mountain.
Big Brother will end - but not for another 3 weeks.
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